klugulablog

Writings: Untitled One

2012-01-28T02:35:00.000-08:00

Date: Unknown

Approximate age: 13-17

It was time once again for death to come knocking at their door.

The knock sounded like thunder rupturing from the clouds to strike a tiny abandoned infant on a cold, icy, deserted road. She opened the door and looked at the creature that loomed before her. She gasped. The thing grabbed her and took her away. The man that lived with the woman that got grabbed by the creature called Death or the Grim Reaper rushed after the two and was too late. She was gone. His true love was gone forever.

The clouds rolled in and blew a breath that reached the man and took him away to a place that looked like it would belong to a grotesque biker who drooled and retched when he bit off his enemy’s nose and ate it.

They were never seen or heard from again.

Death came knocking at their door.

Writings: The Bellower

2012-01-28T01:40:00.000-08:00

date: unknown

approximate age: 13-17

“Beginning with the beginning, is where the lesson begins for today’s starting point”, bellowed the teacher.

“What?” questioned the students.

“Never mind you ungrateful little brats. You can’t do anything right, can you?!” bellowed the teacher.

Sig turned to the person next door and rapped on the desk a few times.

“What are you doing?” asked Greta.

“Rapping on your desk,” said Sig.

“Oh,” said Greta.

“Wake up!!” bellowed the teacher.

“O.K.” whispered Sig.

“Good job,” whispered Greta to Sig.

“The assignment is…read pages 2 to 3 before I return from the bathroom,” bellowed the teacher.

“The end,” said Greta to Sig.

Writings: Subway Stare

2012-01-28T01:35:00.000-08:00

Date Unknown

approximate age: 13-17

The test began one hour ago and so far it was unsuccessful. People marched into the subway station, unaware that their immune systems were being pushed to the limits.

“There one goes!” the Footman bellowed.

They rushed to the fallen person.

The woman stood up and brushed her tattered clothes off. She cursed under her breath and motioned for her unseen companion.

“Goddamn bugs. They oughta watch where the hell they’re going. Come on Corky, let’s get our asses going.”

“Ma’am, are you all right?” the Footman called after her.

“What the hell do you care?”

She entered the doorway to the subway car.

The Footman returned to the hidden room above the stairway and sat down in one of the available seats.

“Well?” The Headman turned to his coworker.

“She tripped,” the Footman grabbed a donut from the table and shoved it into his fat face.

“Is that all you ever do? Jesus Christ! Get to work.” the Lefthandman stood next to the Headman.

“God Almighty! Nothing has happened. It’s been two hours already,” said the Righthandman.

“It’s been one hour and eight minutes. Sit down,” the Headman ordered.

“Look!” yelled the Rightlegman, “They’re doing it. They’re staring!”

The group gazed out of the window. Sure enough, there was a man staring off into the distance.

“It worked. By God! It worked!” the Headman sighed and told the Leg and Footmen to go get him.

The test was a success! The man was brought back and examined. His immune system had indeed given up.

“Now we can get to the good stuff!” screamed the Leftlegman.

“Right. Let’s tell the Brainman that it worked,” the Headman rushed from the hidden lab as the passengers exiting and entering the subway station began to stare off into another world. The test was definitely a success.

Writings...

2012-01-28T01:26:00.000-08:00

I have a page on my website...it's a place holder that's been there since I started building the now defunct klugula.com about 7 years ago. I'm not sure why it's taken me so damn long to figure this out, but here we are. I wondered how I could get all of my short stories, poetry and scribblings on to the site...for you see, there are LOTS. I've been writing since I was a kid, but have never typed up the literally hundreds of napkins/notebook pages/graph paper stories and musings I've created. I want to do so before the paper rots away or the pencil and pen marks become illegible. Well. I've got this perfectly good blog which I've been working @ for almost 7 years...right here in front of me. Duh.

Why not post the pieces here and put up links to each of the pieces on the webpage?

(www.notmymess.com). Brilliant I say.

So, you'll begin (all of my avid readers of 0) to see many short stories and blurbs showing up on this here blog. I'm going to try to date them...or make a note of how old I was (approximately) when it was written. Two reasons for that.

One: If it's really shitty or stupid, I can chalk it up to my immaturity.

Two: If it's thrillingly amazing and from way back when, we can all marvel at what a writing prodigy I once was.

So there you have it.

Let's begin.

Stew of Sin # 143

2012-01-23T21:11:00.001-08:00

Okay. There's seriously something missing in the ol' hottub right now. I can't BELIEVE I've missed this dude/gentleman/super-spy. This evening's viewing of the entertaining fluff that is COWBOYS AND ALIENS, had me wondering if Daniel Craig had actually received a technical invite into this sinful water display that I call home. A quick search supports that, NO, he has been neither invited nor taken it upon himself to read my sexy thoughts and crash the party! At any rate, seeing him shirtless in the overturned, dripping riverboat in the aforementioned COWBOYS AND ALIENS, and then seeing his tight ass in those pants surrounded (and accentuated) by those chaps, which served to highlight those appetizing/yummy/nummy cheeks--left me a bit breathless (and using the rewind button on the remote for second look at what I may have missed). Now, let's be clear about Bond. I've never been a huge fan of the franchise, and I don't know much about the pictures prior to Brosnan...but really, is there a sexier Bond beyond Craig (Connery may give him a run for his money)? I've rambled on enough. Just send a message to security and let them know he should be escorted right up to my spot in the stew. Make room, everyone!

2012 To Do List Extravaganza!

2011-12-31T13:45:00.000-08:00

Okay. In an attempt to disgust myself, or to politely point out my shortcomings and bask in my rousing successes, I'm again this year, going to check in on my progress from last year's To Do List/New Year's Resolutions.

Here is my list from last New Years along w/ current thoughts/sharings on their individual status (stati?)...

1) Reading for “Tonight I Shall Lease Your Soul”

This is DONE! No "if's", "and's" or "but's" about it! One out of eight!

2) Trailer for “Tonight I Shall Lease Your Soul”

Nope. Not even close. Okay, we're still one out of eight.

3) Not My Mess Films Website Completed

I'm gonna mark this as a DONE. This site has been through the ringer, seeing so many changes and updates and design re-choicing. In fact, it's going through an upgrade right now. But basically, all that I want there, is there. It just needs to be tinkered with. So yes, DONE! (Hey, PLUS I did create a BRAND NEW website for THE 53 ZOMBIE MOODS: A book for your coffee table--so that counts for something, right?) That's two out of eight!

4) Rough Draft of “A. Family Portrait”

Nope. Not done. There was a good amount of work completed, but a rough draft? No. Okay, so we're still @ two of eight.

5) New Draft of “Me & Simon Baker”

I had to recheck this one, cuz it didn't feel like I had done any work on this (other than submitting to some agencies/contests), but based on my file saved dates in Final Draft, I went from a draft 5 to a draft 6 in June of this year. In addition, it seems obvious that since I submitted it, I must have done an upgraded draft. So that means DONE! That's three of eight! We're moving on!

6) Query Letters for “A. Family Portrait”

This is a no-brainer. No completed script (not even that rough draft), means I didn't send out query letters for this one. Okay...no biggie. 2012 may be shortened due to the pending apocalypse, but that still gives me 5 months, right? Isn't it May according to the Mayans? Therefore, we are still three of eight.

7) Query Letters for “Tonight I Shall Lease Your Soul” ??

I had a question mark (or two) on this one (perhaps debating in the early days of 2011 that this would happen or take priority), but in the end, we may call it DONE! Sent about 100 of these babies to agencies in October I believe, with only rejections thus far. That brings us to four of eight. Nifty!

8) Reading for “Me & Simon Baker”

And finally. This is a no-go. Not sure if I need this, since it's been through so many drafts, but perhaps it could be something to work for in the new year. I still intend to shop this around, so hearing it out loud and gaining that insight, might not be such a bad idea. All that rationalization aside, it is not complete. Thus we are left with four of eight on the DONE list.

You know what? That's a 50% success rate on my New Year's resolutions in 2011. I'll take it!

Okay then...onto the business @ hand. How do I divvy this up? Since I completed 4 items on the list from last year, I think I'll pare it down to 5 items for this year. I can up the DONE pile by one extra for this year, don't you think?

So--

2012 New Year's Resolutions/To Do List Extravaganza!

1) Complete rough draft of "A. Family Portrait"

2) Complete all aspects of "The 53 Zombie Moods" (that's a heck of a lot in one, but okay)

3) Reading for "A. Family Portrait"

4) Reading for "Me & Simon Baker"

5) Sell "Me & Simon Baker" (it's a vast reaching one, but if I don't put the wish out to the universe, it'll never move in that direction--this one will require lots of steps and lots of detail work, but okay)

That basically boils it all down to three projects for the year. Of course, when you look @ the ones for "A. Family Portrait", and see a "rough draft" and a "reading", it becomes clear that I'll need more than a rough draft before preparing for a reading...

So there are sub points on the to-do list extravaganza.

In the words of Joy Behar; "So what, who cares?"

Yes, I quoted Joy Behar.

Wishing you all a successful and happy New Year. May your own "TO-DO LIST EXTRAVAGANZA" find itself DONE by year's end!

Best,

Klugula

2011 in Review

2011-12-31T12:39:00.000-08:00

I haven't done holiday update letters (via snail mail) in a good long many years (4 perhaps?). There are a # of reasons. One: Basically everyone I know is on Facebook, so they know what goes on w/ my life; right down to the completely boring, who-gives-a-shit details. Two: I'm one lazy-ass mo'fo'.

So, what are some of the highlights of this past year?

Let's start off w/ the negative side of my life. Meaning--me. I am a sarcastic, ill-tempered sot and here are a few of my pet peeves which have been newly discovered this past year. 1) The other half and I will get into the car, and he will be driving. Just then (not while we're getting ready or while we're walking to the car in our garage) he'll notice that his sunglasses need a bit of cleaning, thus asking that I do it for him. He doesn't ask in a bad manner, he says please and thank you, but it still just irks me off. Too much time on my hands? Yes. 2) Work related (imagine that). We basically check for ID's for any credit card purchase. It still has yet to be made clear to me why the select few never have that requested ID on their person. Isn't that one of those things YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT? I simply don't understand this one. What if you're hit by a car, offered a huge cash prize by some random sweepstakes nutball- if you would just show your ID? What would you do then? Can't imagine how or why folks would go anywhere w/ out it? Life's mysteries.

How's the writing been going? Well, some good, some lazy. Chris McCaleb and I finished (whatever that term means in a writer's brain--it's NEVER truly done) TONIGHT I SHALL LEASE YOUR SOUL. We had a reading early on in the year, and submitted about 100 query letters to agencies...so far no request to read the script. But we reached that big milestone. Not sure what is in the cards for "TISLYS" as we call it...but it sure ain't dead yet!

Speaking of Chris, we lost him and his dear wife Ami to a move cross country. Not a day goes by that I don't wish them back here, but everyone's got to go where life takes them. Miss you guys!

Last year, I began a new script based around THE ADDAMS FAMILY. This year found some progress, but not enough to call it done. I'm very fond of the idea and pleased with what I've gotten so far (40+ pages). My plan was to complete a rough draft by year's end (that gives me what? @ the current time--oh, about 11 hours to complete!), but another project came up, and that has taken more time.

Speaking of which--

Vanessa (an old hometown friend) and I, hooked up to create a project called THE 53 ZOMBIE MOODS: A BOOK FOR YOUR COFFEE TABLE. It's a coffee table book (as the title suggests) revolving around the moods of your every day zombie. We created a website, shot many sample and promo shots (Vanessa did the makeup and shot the stuff--and the ones she was in, the other half helped out) and launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to make it all a reality. As of today, we have raised only 4oo bucks of our needed 10k amount, so we have a long way to go, with only 3 weeks left. I still have hope, but frankly, I'm a little discouraged at the lagging #s. I am already forumlating a plan B if Kickstarter and the possible investors don't come to fruition (BUT THEY WILL!) :) check out the website (and donate if you can) @ www.the53zombiemoods.com.

Much appreciated!

On the work front, I've now surpassed 3 years @ the Z. This also marked my 4th holiday season w/ the company. I've been rattling on to anyone who'll listen, about how I can't tell if this season has just been busier, or if I'm just more worn, or what...but DAMN, these holidays @ work have KICKED MY ASS! I'm thrilled that it's almost over, and then the dreaded inventory week begins soon. After that, we settle back into a normal schedule. But overall, I'm still happy @ the job and only slightly burned out (amazing for a retail gig that's lasted this long!)

The other half and I celebrated 12 years this June. Hardly seems possible, but we're still lugging along, switching places between absolute hatred for one another to not being able to function apart. He's so much a part of my life and my day, that when he went home to Puerto Rico to spend time w/ his mom, and finish up details on his late grandparents' estate, I fell into a frightening but temporary depression spiral. I realized that it had been 12 years together, where I was basically never alone. The longest time apart ever has been a week. This was a whole month! I hadn't been inside my own brain and alone w/ my own thoughts for such a long time. I didn't really know how to handle it. Perhaps a trip to therapy to examine such things, but for now...he's back and I can remain crazy in all of my other colorful ways.

The other half and I also did a good deal of travelling this year. Countless trips to Vegas (it's just so easy and with free hotels/food, etc, it's stupid NOT to go), a week long road trip to Reno/Lake Tahoe/Monterey), and a week long trip to Hawaii (my first--LOVED IT!, even though our bag was stolen from the beach on our last day there--leaving us w/ NO photos of our trip--phones were in the bag)...and of course, Elwood's solo trip to PR. Our plans next year are to get back home to SD. It's been forever, and I'm itching for some Black Hills.

It's coming up on 4 years since we left Chicago. That's also unbelievable, but I wouldn't change this location for anything...scratch that. Our ultimate dream is to transplant the City of Chicago (and all it's wonderfulness) to this location. Not that LA is a downer, but Chicago was a better city, but with much shittier weather. We're very happy here.

My 2012 New Year's resolutions will be forthcoming. I still must review last year's (discover what failings and successes I experienced) and then formulate my new plan of attack.

Oh yes, there's been a nice amount of celeb sightings @ work this year, including Hillary Swank (she was the biggie) and I've become sort of buddy/buddy w/ Ms. Angie Dickinson. Just some of the perks of the job. Keeps it interesting, for sure.

I wish you all a happy and prosperous New Year 2012!

This is the year to make it all happen!

Love to you all!

klugula

Removal from the Chestal Regions

2011-09-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

In other words, I feel like I need to get some stuff off of my chest.

I feel like I want to quit Facebook. Friend Chris mentioned the fact that it'll be obsolete in a few years...so he doesn't commit too much to its archives. Meanwhile, I put EVERYTHING there...when I should probably put it on something like this. I miss my blogging. I miss the sheer # of posts I used to produce. Now, I go to FB for my journaling needs; pop up a quick three sentence bit of nonsense, and I've said my piece. There's a place for it, but it doesn't allow me to really write. Not that my ranting and raving here on klugulablog is Pulitzer Prize-worthy or something that will make the Hollywood execs to salivate over its adaptation potential, but it gives me more freedom. I write in train of thought wackiness, so this gives me the length. I like length. Ahem.

The other half has been gone for a mere 5 days. I don't quite know what I think about his absence. By the time he returns, it will have been a record 27 days of us being apart. Never been that long (which was I guess made clear by the "record" notation). I have a hard time determining if I miss him for him, if I'm just selfish and miss him for me, or if I am just plain afraid that the zombies outside our bedroom door will now have first-hand access to me (the other half sleeps closest to the door--so he would usually be their first target). I think I do miss him. As much as I can despise him, in the words of Sideshow Bob..."I've grown accustomed to his face." There is certainly the fact that having another person around relieves the boredom. But is that because he's a warm body, or cuz it's him specifically? These are the questions which dig @ my brain. I've made a to-do list of epic proportions. A mountain of tasks which I would like to achieve before his return. On top of the list (which includes several reorganization and cleaning chores) is a first draft of one of my "new" scripts. I think I got the original inspiration for this one--well over a year ago. I've written 30 pages...and yesterday, another 3. In other words, I've let the piece languish for eons. Poor thing.

The really sad thing about this neglected script, is that I believe it to be a very worthwhile idea. It's goofy, strange and get this--NOT ABOUT ZOMBIES. I know, I know. Take a seat, a deep breath and let that thought sit for a moment. Finish your iced tea.

My problem here is that I think all of my scripts have been good ideas. But I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I think the fact that I'm still pushing (have a buttload of query letters to get out on the co-project w/ Mr. McCaleb) shows that I'm not ready to give up, but MAN...what do I have to do to get ahead...to leave behind the day job...to write all the time?

MOTHER-FUCKING BROKEN RECORD.

I know not many folks read this, so I know there won't necessarily be any answers forthcoming. It's about "removal from the chestal regions".

Better yet, instead of advice...how about I SIT DOWN AND FUCKING WRITE during my down time? Novel idea indeed. I truly wish I could figure out what it is that is my block. What in my mind keeps me from getting this worthwhile work done? In other words, what's my deal?

It's become clear in my advancing years (it's no longer a joke that I'm having a mid-life crisis early--well, cuz I'M THERE RIGHT NOW FOR REAL)...that I'm pretty damn set in my ways. I now see that my grand plans of getting on an exercise regiment, running every day like I used to in high school, eating right--less eating out (never will stop, it's who I am and what I do), and finding the motivation to write all the time...all of these things which I would like to adjust and which should be adjusted. I don't think they're going to happen. I don't think of it as a negative thing, or that I'm being pessimistic. I feel it's about being realistic.

The perfect example. I've been thinking about the fact that I mock the other half and myself for the sheer # of meals we eat out. I tell people (when the subject of cooking or eating habits comes up) with a great deal of guilt or shame, that we NEVER COOK. I had the moment recently when I said, "WHO THE FUCK CARES THAT WE EAT OUT AND NEVER COOK?!" Honestly, what's wrong w/ that (other than my arteries are probably 95% blocked, I'm addicted to Denny's whole wheat w/ sugar free syrup, and I'm a raging diabetic!) Why do I feel it's necessary to bow down to those who do cook @ home? It doesn't make sense. I just hope these realizations are a step forward to appreciating who I actually am and what I've become through my life experiences.

I need to accept and REVEL in my own idiosyncrasies. ENJOY what my life is and LOVE what my own jagged road has led me to. ACCEPT the fact that I LOVE to end sentences in prepositions!

GODDAMMIT, it's who I am!

I'm sitting here in bed...Amy (my gorilla), Pete (my squirrel), Dave (my lion) and Knut Knut (my polar bear) are all at my side. They're great to have around, and they make for great company, but I think I'm ready to have the other half back.

And for good measure, let me just pass along an interesting anecdote from the workday. A woman brought in two candle wall sconces. They were pretty beat up...appeared a bit rusty...and she had no receipt. She wanted to return them. I was able to find her receipt in one of our two systems. Get this...the purchase was made in October of 2009. Are you EFFING kidding me? UNBELIEVABLE what folks will attempt. Thought you might appreciate that.

Let me just end this post with this...

Hurry home, my boy. The children (and I) miss you!

On the Radio...ooo-ooo-ooo...on the radio!

2011-09-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

"Junior" 's CD player has been on the fritz for quite some time. He has chosen to keep several of our CD's encased in the dashboard, and refuses to take any more, or give back the ones he has consumed. That's fine. One day we'll find a way to satisfy his appetite in another way, thus allowing him to give up what is ours.

Anyway, the radio's not bad. I should listen to NPR like I used to avidly do, but I've discovered (in the past several months) that I greatly enjoy KOST @ 103.5.

BUT...

I feel the urge to tell you about something which I can no longer tolerate on this station.

First, though--I love the fact that 75% of the time, when I hop into "Junior" and click on the radio, I'll get a few moments of the Bee Gees and their wonderful "How Deep is Your Love". That makes me happy. They play lots of Fleetwood Mac, the occasional Madonna, Donna Summer, and even some Bette Midler. That all serves to make me a happier person on the way home from work. Soothing. Cheesy. Non Beverly Hills Housewives-related.

But there is a dark side to KOST--Los Angeles.

They can continue to play songs over and over...in fact, every day I'll hear a song I heard the day before. Keep it up. If it's Luther Vandross, I'm okay. I can even take "Love Songs on the KOST" and the absolutely cheesy requests and over-the-top dedications. I don't judge. I'm glad there's love out there. Radio ads...don't like 'em, but I can handle that.

No...the thing which will immediately make me reach for the off switch is a particular song.

I believe it's called "Marry Me", and it's performed by Train. I don't know why, but I DESPISE this song. It's annoying, whiny and fills me to the brim w/ disgust. I'm sure it's played so damn often cuz it's requested so damn often. For my sake, please stop.

Don't know why this was all worth a blog, except that I just had to get it out. I thank you for you time.

Coming up in the next non-stop hour of music--Billy Joel, Tina Turner and Christina Aguilera.

"I'm a nerd...and I'm pretty proud of it."

2011-08-16T22:08:00.000-07:00

It was quite a turning point for me when I saw this in the theatre at age 10 (no comment on why a 10 y.o. would be allowed to see this). After several more viewings on home video (it quickly became one of our movie regulars) I told my older brother that I was moved/uplifted by the ending (or however a 10 y.o. would describe it). In his usual heartfelt manner, he replied, "that's because you're a nerd." It hurt then, but I knew in my heart that he was right.

After all of these years, having also added 'fag' to my roster of colorful outsider names, I'm so happy to be who I am...a nerd at heart. Other than my laundry list of crippling neuroses (ha!), I'm pleased to be me.

I was, and am still--a startling doppelganger for our beloved Wormser. A badge of shame in my youth, I now shout it from the mountaintops!

"I'm a nerd, and I'm pretty proud of it!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWH1jEgiO0w

Stew of Sin #142

2011-07-21T22:06:00.001-07:00

Hello Stew watchers and wishers...

Here we are at yet another milestone...that rare and some may say--deviant--addition to my celeb hottub; a FEMALE. They're far and in-between in my sinful water display, but nevertheless, the flesh wants what it wants. And tonight, after an encore presentation (I think I've seen this one a few times) of Star Trek: The Next Generation (The Perfect Mate), left me with little choice and little will power to keep our next attendee from making an appearance...albeit in the far end of the tub w/ the other chics.

Famke Janssen. Goldeneye, X-Men and a very ROUSING turn on Nip/Tuck a few years back. She's sultry, sexy, statuesque and clearly a worthwhile woman to include in our fun festivities.

Welcome Famke...you hot momma you!

The Ultimate

2011-07-07T18:59:00.006-07:00

It seems I can find nothing to truly satisfy my needs...my wants...my desires.

Do I speak of sexual escapades? Truly great cuisine? A pantsuit that doesn't remind me of Hillary Clinton?

Sure, those are all things which plague my mind every single day, but what I'm talking about here is something seemingly unattainable.

The ultimate bag and journal/notebook...for a "real" writer.

As a writer, I have find myself in this ongoing search for an ideal bag. I've got a great backpack (Swiss Army) for my laptop, and I've used it w/ much love over the past many years, but it doesn't have a lot of character.

I'm often reminded of "the bag" carried by Alessandro Nivola in JURASSIC PARK III. The one which he has carried for so many years, his lucky bag...and the one which ends up saving his life. I want a bag like that. Not to save me from blood-thirsty pterodactyls or chomp-happy T-rexes. Just something that has gone the distance with me, has been there with me. Shows some wear and some character. I thought I found one, but have not used it recently. It's a khaki-hemp type bag I found @ a shop in Venice (imagine that). I paid 12 bucks for it, as it was the last one and had a stain on it (instant character), haggled down from the already reasonable price of $20. I even had the other half sew on a green and black patch; which reads simply "zombie". In essence, that's what I'm all about. Seemed appropriate.

But lately, instead of taking my sacred bag (must not be so sacred apparently) say to work, I carry a Fresh and Easy (our local grocery store) canvas tote. It seems more sensible for taking my lunch and drinks for the day. At least it keeps them upright, while my sacred hemp bag allows them to fall and spill as they please. Maybe that's the trick, take the sacred bag, let the shit spill and it'll have more character. That's a thought! But by me not taking the bag on ALL excursions, it doesn't seem to be "the one". In addition, I have realized that I'm a bag-aholic. Is it just a thing/addiction/sickness, or is it truly the fact that my search continues due to not finding a true love? I love my "zombie" bag and had every intention of making it even more sacred by adding at least a dozen more patches (flair? hah!).

And then, of course, there's the obvious writer's tool...a notebook (to carry in that special one-of-a-kind bag). Let it be known that ever since I was in middle school (when i got my first electric typewriter) most of my work has spewed forth onto typewriter or computer paper. Notebooks have always been around for brainstorming/notetaking and during bouts of writer's block...doodling. (I have made some TREMENDOUS labyrinth/maze illustrations in my day, believe you/me). I currently use two notebooks fairly regularly. I have a nice full size spiral notebook w/ Hawaiian Punch on the cover (got it @ K-mart for $2), and a small one I keep in my purse (yes, a PURSE). However, as with the bags I've already discussed, they don't seem to be the ultimate...i.e. something I can't live without. It can't leave my side. The mini "purse" notebook doesn't even always come with me. Sometimes the purse (including all contents) stays behind completely. Shouldn't my "ultimate" brainstorm notebook be with me NO MATTER WHAT? So, is it my laziness, not wanting to get beat up for carrying a purse, or is it that I haven't yet found the best notebook to use?

Pens? I can take pretty much anything (although I HAVE recently developed a fondness for the Sharpie Ultra Fine Point pen in black--it's perfect for us lefties--no smearing, you see).

But what to do about the bags and the blasted notebooks? When do I find my never-leave-home-without-it, cherished items? It's a tradition I think I'm missing out on. Perhaps it's the idea that so many writers have habits and things they simply cannot do without while they work (I'm thinking of William Hurt's character in ONE TRUE THING--the rotting apples in the desk drawer). Maybe I just haven't been writing long enough to know exactly what I need. The only thing I know helped me, was listening to Tears for Fears while I wrote my first screenplay. So much, in fact, that when I hear certain TFF songs, I'm immediately transported back to that world I created (which is a nice thing). But that was for one project...

What are my idiosyncrasies as a testy, intellectual, goatee-sporting writer?

I simply have to find them.

And it all starts w/ the ultimate bag and brainstorming notepad.

Am I wrong?

Left Below

2011-07-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

We’re without internet…sure, we can get to the main pages, but anything beyond is…well, beyond us. We need a new modem, you see. Without that, our favorite pastime of surfing the interwebs is out of reach. I’m feeling the itching pangs of withdrawal.

However, I couldn’t go long w/out making note of the past several days, and what’s coming up in the next many days. Old age is setting in, and memories aren’t called up as quickly as they used to be—so I must document NOW! It’s my birthday this month…meaning I’m another year older. WTF?

Saturday was a real treat. Friends Nate and Justin had a party--celebrating Justin’s week-old birthday--and inviting friends over for a mini-film festival. Bring something along w/ you that you’ve written, acted in, directed, etc…something in the 7-minute range. I brought over my “director’s cut” of READY TO GO (my second short film—after FRENCH TOAST). It is unfinished, with a final soundtrack being the only thing standing between me and “completion”. It was well received, at least I was told so…and there didn’t seem to be any yawning, whispering, farting or belching…and no cell phone chatter, so I guess I should take that as a compliment. And there were several other filmmakers there w/ some very accomplished works. High production values and the like. Some very impressive stuff. I don’t feel as though my project was out of place (and we know how hard I am on my own stuff usually). Felt good, and hopefully gave me some inspiration to get the piece completed and out there. We’ll see.

Other project news. It’s the eve of the quarterfinalist announcements for the JUST EFFING ENTERTAIN ME screenwriting contest. I’ve entered ME & SIMON BAKER into said contest, and I’m more than a little anxious to find out some results. I have no idea what to expect…if anything. I’m very happy w/ my piece and I think I’ve streamlined it to within an inch of its life—meaning I could do another 10 drafts to get it even better. There’s never a finish line on such things…unless the film is actually shot, edited and released. Even then, people like George Lucas have shown by example that a completed film means nothing. It can just go on forever. What’s the saying? “A film is never finished, it’s just abandoned.” The same could be said for scripts as well, I suppose.

I, of course, would love to place, win some loot and prizes and have some life-changing meetings w/ some folks who could further this “career” I’ve taken to pursuing. (Incidentally, how long before I stop referring to it as “career” and just talk about it like it was the real thing?—certainly that could be something that’s holding me back…not thinking of myself as a real writer). I would be more than thrilled to place in this first cut—and if I go on, SUPER…if not—well, it’s an ego boost my writing skills and my neurotic mind—could certainly stand. No doubt about it. That’s what I’ve been telling folks. A first cut could do wonders for my work. Acknowledgement, vindication…PROOF that what I’m doing is communicating w/ others—actually AFFECTING strangers. While I love to do it, and perhaps HAVE to do it…it’s nice to know that it could be appreciated in circles outside of my mother (if she cared to read anything I’d written from the past 15 years) and inside my own insane brain.

Spent the afternoon and early evening w/ the Brownlee’s on a beach north of Malibu on Sunday. Since I’m without computer access, I don’t recall the name of the beach…Leo Carillo something-or-other. But it was pretty awesome. Tide pools w/ critters galore. It was a wonderful escape from EVERYTHING, and on the way home, we entertained each other by singing choir songs, 80’s TV theme songs and Christmas carols. All in all, a pretty awesome getaway.

Speaking of getaways, we have a couple of trips planned in the next few weeks. For my birthday (remember that getting old thing?) we’re taking a nice long weekend to Vegas. 10 days after that, we are off to Puerto Rico for almost 2 weeks. Truly I NEED these vacations. I think the last really substantial break we had, was our trip to South Dakota in the summer of 2007. If you’ll recall, we went back home for a week of fun, stayed 2 extra weeks when my pops passed away (speaking of which, Wednesday is the “anniversary” of that date—this reminds me of a line in the Simon Baker script, referencing a tragic event as an “anniversary”…one character replies that he “doesn’t understand why ‘anniversary’—like there’s something to celebrate”. But I digress… Of course, this means that in the next 3 weeks, I have TWO 8-day stretches @ work. Gonna be tough. It appears as though I’ll be REALLY earning these vacations.

And on to the topic of work… Had quite a few run-ins w/ disgruntled customers (which will be discussed in a separate blog—too much for this regular update) and another meet-n-greet w/ Ms. Angie Dickinson. We chatted for a while and I brought up DRESSED TO KILL (we own it, but have never seen it). Bottom line is that she told me I should see it and GAVE ME HER PHONE # to call her upon completion, so that I could tell her what I thought—insisting that I be honest. We watched the flick that very night, and I called her afterward, receiving her voice mail. Just said that we really enjoyed it (which we did—the more I think about it, the more I like it—but I generally enjoy De Palma’s style anyway), and that I would love her to call back to talk about it. Yes. Angie Dickinson’s phone #. She’s a great dame, and I consider it an honor that she wants to chat about movies w/ me. What a treat!

Chris and Ami have left us. I am still having mixed emotions over the whole thing. That’s not true. It’s not mixed at all. I’m BUMMED. I wish them well, but it still doesn’t seem real that they’re just not here anymore. We certainly had our long intermissions between meet-ups while they were still in LA, so I think that’s what it feels like right now, but I wonder what it’ll be like when it TRULY dawns on me. I miss them already. 

But moving back to the future. The quarter-finalist announcements (GODSPEED Baker script!), and on top of that…I will be having an afternoon w/ one of my oldest and dearest friends. I’ve known her since I was about 8 years old, Kathy T. Will meet her husband tomorrow when they make their way from their family vacation near San Diego to the bright lights of Hollywood. We chatted while making our plans, and I couldn’t recall how long it had been since we actually saw one another. I’m estimating about 18 years or so. Anxious and excited to catch up!

That’s all for now. Not bad for having no internet. Later, y’all.

Stew of Sin #141

2011-06-30T21:05:00.004-07:00

Been a good long time since a newcomer has made his way into the swirling hot waters of the Stew of Sin. But, then again, it's been a long time since any one man made me stop what I was doing...call out sick from work and close all of the drapes. I thought about making a joke here (covering up the obvious masturbation reference), but w/ a guy like this...who has time? I'm a pervert, get over it.

His name is Sean Patrick Davey. He's Irish (what, really?) and a model (no way!) So technically he's not a "celebrity" (he gets the celeb treatment in my dreams!) but he gets a coveted spot amongst my other attendees nonetheless.

From the good folks over @ Shirtless Male Celebrities (squarehippies.com)...you may want to check out this link. There a few adt'l, more risque photos which are worth a look, or a double take, or a day off of from work (if you're me).

Nothing else to say but...this man is FINE.

Lazy Good-for-Nuthin'

2011-05-30T21:08:00.005-07:00

Is it a call for sympathy? For encouragement? For a cattle-prod? (D) All of the above.

Cripes.

A few things on my mind. I've got a project list a mile long, and I've come to the mind-numbing, heart-breaking conclusion that I'm an addict. Smoking? No. Drinking? No. Crappy food (well, yes on that one). Addicted to being a bitch? No. Addicted to being lazy? Yup.

I'm one lazy mother-fucker. I'm about as down on myself as I could possibly be right now (w/out performing certain niceties on my own private areas--get it?).

So many good ideas, but not AN OUNCE of push to complete them...or hell, even START some of them.

Seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Let's review my sorrows, shall we?

I'll put up a positive one first...just to get the ball rolling. I've actually been working on my auto-biography...my memoir. Not a lot, considering the length it probably will end up being, but I can rationalize that it is SOMETHING. ANYTHING, for Godssake!

The script which writing partner Chris and I have been working on almost since we relocated to LA (three years ago!) has been on hold for what seems like months (wait, it has been TWO months since we held our reading). Neither of us has pushed to move ahead on it...I can't blame Chris (he and wife Ami are preparing for a major move cross country--which frankly I believe this is one of the reasons I'm in such a funk lately). Of course they're boxing/taping/purging doesn't keep me from working on the awesome piece we concocted...and yet here I sit...blogging. I'll again rationalize that at least I'm writing. Better than spending another FUCKING minute @ MeccaGames.com, playing endless Alice in Wonderland and Cleopatra slots for fake money. It's clearly become a mindless escape from my responsibilities and necessary project work.

Which brings me to the ultimate necessary project which has just been left to flounder, unfinished.

The Baker script. I am planning on sending it in to one competition; which has a deadline of June 1st. It's not ready. Thankfully, in my research, I found that on WithoutaBox, there is an extended deadline through their service for June 15th. Why not take advantage of this adt'l time and play some more Alice...I mean, after all, that Tea Party bonus is pretty damn exciting and will certainly serve to further my writing career. Here I will rationalize further by saying that the $60 entry fee into the afore-mentioned contest was a bit out of league for this pay period, so it was wiser to wait til mid-month anyway. Right? RIGHT? Uh-huh. Anyway, I'm well over half way through on what I would consider my 6th draft (and the final one before I submit it to the contest I'm interested in). The super major changes I was expecting to make, ended up not being necessary (or so I believe). There were other changes that needed to take place, and they have, but that now requires for the rest of the script to change to accommodate those new changes, and the beat goes on.

And another rationalization. I say it out loud when people ask me how the projects are coming along. "I work better under pressure." I think this is actually true to a point, but CHRIST, wouldn't it be nice to get something done ahead of time? I'll never change these procrastinating ways, so I should just accept it. Easier said than done.

Let's see. I have a terrific coffee table picture book idea, but haven't ANY idea on how to proceed.

My feature script (which I think is quite promising) A. Family Portrait, hasn't been touched in months. I've got about 30 pages, but nothing has blossomed on that one since...oh, the DAWN OF TIME!

I have been asked to collaborate with and/or write an episode of friend Jen's wildly entertaining "radio plays" found @ http://thehorrorgasm.tumblr.com/. Done nothing to pursue that.

So many opportunities out there, and it seems I'm just kinda pissing them away.

There is a possible change coming through in the next few months...and I hope it comes to pass (more details as they unfold)...and I PRAY that it will get me on track w/ some of these projects.

Again, I don't know what's keeping me from getting things done. It's such a load of bullshit too. The more I procrastinate, play online slots, hang out on Facebook, the more I beat myself up, the more I lay on my own guilt, the more I feel like a dreadful failure.

My good friend and writing partner Chris has offered kind words for the writing work I've done in LA...going so far as to using the word "prolific". So greatly appreciated, but the bottom line is that I have to find it within myself to appreciate all I've done...thus using that good feeling and higher self-esteem to push me on...to complete already begun projects and start on all of the fabulous ideas currently smoking away on the back burner.

I realize not many people read this...but for those who do. Thanks for reading. It feels good to blow off some steam every once in a while.

Later.

High Volume Wake-Up Call

2011-04-26T20:17:00.005-07:00

Y'know...I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I am always thrilled to hear of the success of friends. Any of my theatre buddies who have made a name for themselves, or are making a living in the arts--acting, writing, producing...whatever. They're paying bills by working in a creative position. I am always proud of them, but without fail, it always comes w/ a bit (sometimes MORE than a bit--let's be honest) of jealousy. But even more than jealousy, there's the reminder that I'm still working a "day job", I've all but given up acting, I can't get a literary agent (or a break), I don't work hard enough for any of this anyway, and I don't write on a regular basis (thus how can I get ANYWHERE?). Sounds like a pity party, doesn't it? Well, I guess it is. I hate myself for feeling this way, and for wondering what it is that gives my friends the push, the drive, the WHATEVER that keeps them moving toward their dreams, surpassing them and ultimately being able to find new ones. I'm a shit. That's clear.

Tonight, I was going on-line (to waste time on Facebook, of course) and I saw that WORLD WAR Z was "trending" on Yahoo. Well, for those who don't know, this is a film that has apparently had some trouble getting off the ground. It's based on a book by Max Brooks (Mel's son), who previously wrote the incredible THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE (read it, it's a HOOT!), and Brad Pitt has been attached to star. So, out of curiosity for ANYTHING zombie-related, I clicked.

I found some news about how it may now be moving ahead, after all of the dark days of studio issues (and whatever else kept it from taking off), etc. Then I saw a name. This name was being tapped to star opposite Mr. Pitt.

MIRIELLE ENOS. Pronounced meer-ae...from what I recall.

It took me only a moment to realize how I knew this name, and after a couple of searches on GOOGLE, all was confirmed.

Many years ago (15 already!) I was in my senior year of college. I was working toward a Bachelor's Degree in Theatre (acting and directing). I won a nomination for The ACTF/Irene Ryan scholarship competition for my performance as Touchstone in As You Like It. I chose pieces from DEATH AND THE MAIDEN and PENGUIN BLUES. My scene partner was the wonderful Susan Beaver. We won the competition for Region 5 (8 states) against about 300 (I believe) other duos. We then went to Washington DC to compete against another 13 (I believe) other acting duos (some of which were grad students I might add). In the end, we didn't win, but were thrilled w/ the entire experience. It was held at the Kennedy Center. Which brings me back to Ms. Enos.

She was one of the two duos who won the big prize that evening. Frankly, I don't recall what her pieces were. I do recall that she was good. And I recall that she was from Brigham Young University (which is how I confirmed it was her).

So, there we are. We got there in a round-about way, but nonetheless, we got there.

Mirielle Enos. At the same level (well sort of) in career success as yours truly in 1996.

She's got a show on AMC, has appeared on Big Love, starred on-stage opposite Annette Bening, and now will be the wife of Brad Pitt in WORLD WAR Z.

I don't wish any ill-will on Ms. Enos, and I don't want it to come off that I'm a giant asshole (which I am).

What am I doing? Why can't I get my shit together? Why are all of my contemporaries passing me by? Pity party? Hell yes!

I'll answer many of these questions. I'm a lazy person. I'm unmotivated 85% of the time (that's a rough estimate). I've got the ideas. Lots of them. I'm sitting on about 5 (what I believe to be) very workable writing projects. Are they getting any face time? Nope. I've got a goal for one of my completed short scripts...I want to shoot it this year! Will I? Can I? Shit.

I wish I knew the secret of all of my successful friends. I wish I knew how to move ahead. I wish I knew how to stop torturing myself about my lack of success. I wish I knew how to appreciate what I HAVE done.

I wish I had the magic that Mirielle Enos has.

Boy, this is depressing.

**just adding this after the fact. I've had (lately) lots of moments of "do I just settle in to this retail gig I have? Forget about doing my creative projects? Leave behind the dreams I've always had? How long do I continue to kid myself? This isn't an all the time thing, and certainly there are days when I get into a project and really make some headway. Obviously, this is just the current mood. But that question hangs over my head most of the time. HOW LONG DO I CONTINUE TO KID MYSELF? It's truly depressing, and honestly, this is where friends should come in and support, but at the same time I want to just say..."this is a vent, and only a vent. If this were an actual CRY FOR HELP! you would know it", etc...and on and on.

What do I need to do in my professional life to make myself happy? Wow.

pinches the bridge of his nose

2011-03-25T20:16:00.004-07:00

A la Peter Griffin...the patriarch of the Family Guy clan, when exasperated, perhaps in the presence of one "Buzz Killington".

And that about sums it up after viewing Battle: LA.

SPOILERS ABOUND. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I'll just point out the meager positives before I move in to the full onslaught of negativity and ranting.

It delivered.

It was exciting and the action was crazy, over-the-top fun. The effects were well executed. It wasn't boring. The sound system @ the ArcLight was amazing. It blew me to the back of the theatre. No one plays a better hard lesbian military chick than Michelle Rodriguez (and that's apparently all she does). Aaron Eckhart: I want to lick that rigid divet in your chin.

Now, moving on.

I will freely admit that I have never been in the military. I never will be in the military and I never want to be. So I fully understand the fact that I may not "get" the brother/sister hood of those who serve in the armed forces. The other half pointed out that the relationships built in these situations can be deeper, more heartfelt and "romantic" (I don't mean sexual) than anything you may ever experience w/ an actual blood relative. It's DEEP. I get it. So that being said...I didn't buy it. It didn't work. It was a schmaltz HEAVEN.

My comparison is Backdraft. I'm not a firefighter, but the emotional aspect of that picture was not lost on me. I've never pulled a cat from a tree or lost a co-worker to a gas explosion, but I was still right there with them.

I cited two other pictures to the other half which would be considered heavy action pieces, but still managed to to have a heart...an emotional side that did not distract from the action, but enhanced it. Aliens and District 9. Both are sci-fi through and through, peppered with incredible heart-pounding action sequences, but their "sappy" (although NOT sappy) moments worked. Was it the performers, the writing? I just don't know. But every moment Battle: LA slowed down to focus on emotions, they lost me. A few examples.

1) The WRETCHED speech about Eckhart's lost men (in all of his many battles)...naming off the soldiers and their #s. *rolls eyes* It's so reminiscent of another "aliens attack earth" flick. Independence Day. While I also loved the action and destruction those critters dished out, I always took issue w/ the lame-ass "this is our Independence Day" speech from Bill Pullman. Why can't these types of speeches be taken away for good? It's just so cheesy.

2) I don't necessarily think I'm a jaded movie-goer, although I do have some friends who call me a movie snob. Let me just clear this up. There are certainly a few films I walk into with high expectations (i.e. the mega-failure--George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead and the mega-success--the remake of Dawn of the Dead). But generally not. So I'm not waiting for these pictures to disappoint, but they do. My bottom line is, "if they don't work, they don't work". That's up to the filmmakers. But I digress... I can no longer stand the schmaltzy (this is my new word with which to gripe) crap coming from so many films. In Battle: LA, there's a perfect example. I can't buy on-the-spot relationship connections, most of the time. When Eckhart ropes out of the helicopter, the Bridget Moynahan character screams, "NO!" Why? You met this guy a few hours ago, in the middle of an alien battle. You don't know him. You don't know his job or his devotion to it. While I'm sure you appreciate the fact that he saved your life, you're in shock about the end of the world, and I'm certain you are just so fucking happy that you're out of the "danger zone" that you wouldn't even notice his leaving...unless you were having sexy thoughts about him, like I would have. Maybe that's it? Now I must defend the fact that there are "forced" relationships in the aforementioned Aliens. Newt and Ripley. Even as a kid when I first saw this film (minus the director's cut footage where we learn Ripley had a daughter--saw that years later--which explained it all!) I bought this connection. Cuz I was a kid? Cuz Weaver's a great actress? Who knows, but it worked there. I want the filmmakers to stop peddling this schmaltzy, make-me-gag nonsense. I feel like a boob pointing this out; with no clear solutions, but it just has to stop.

3) Stop using children as a way to up the emotion quotient of your picture. I'll look past the fact that little Hector had something to do, what with the death of his father and new recruitment to the Marines (I CRINGED at the "you're the bravest Marine I've ever met" line), but WHAT THE HELL WERE THE TWO LITTLE GIRLS DOING THERE? They didn't even have lines! Nothing for them to do but attempt to get the audience to blurt out, "won't somebody please think of the children!" I don't necessarily care for children (rub-off from the other half) in real life (there are a select few I adore--my nieces for example), but in movies I generally don't give a shit (call me the honey badger). I was much more concerned for the German Shepherd which showed up early in the film. Was he okay? Gee, I sure hope so. Poor pooch...

BTW, we even got a rendition of the "puts important article into the hand of a trusted friend/colleague and closes it with a squeeze" nonsense. GOD, give me STRENGTH!

I've grown tired of ranting on this picture. It was enjoyable on a very base level, but every single moment they tried to make human connections, it failed miserably and I was jettisoned back in to reality to think about what my bedtime snack might be. That basically means "it didn't work".

Battle: LA. You've not only lost the battle, you've lost the war.

That is all.

Stew of Sin # 140

2011-03-15T20:11:00.004-07:00

Brando Eaton. I know him only as "Jonah Mitchell", John Lithgow's on-screen son from DEXTER. Although he never had a shirtless scene, you could tell he was sporting a HOT BOD (as is clearly evidenced by the photo to the far left!) Not a bad actor either. But let's be real, shall we? I love him for his looks and his bod...well, cuz I don't know him personally, you see. :) Welcome Brando! Scooch in over here!

Stew of Sin # 139

2011-03-15T20:07:00.002-07:00

Another female. I know. My card is revoked. I can't help it. I totally have a thing for Lt. La Guerta on DEXTER. I love her as an actress, and I love her as a sex symbol. Who costumes this woman? Fabulous. The high heels on the crime scenes, the mini-skirts in the office? Those big, beautiful eyes? Lauren Velez...I welcome you to the elite few females who have managed to find a way into my males only sexy hottub.

Stew of Sin #138

2011-03-07T20:52:00.004-08:00

Unless you frequent the Spanish language channels, you probably don't know this dude. I first noticed him while flipping channels last week. Dear Lord, he caught my attention...and how! Those lips, that body...the eyes. He's got it all. Well, I did some research, only to find about a gazillion photos from his modeling days. I can't post a few of the ABSOLUTELY LUSCIOUS pics, but let's just say that some see-through undies make him all the more titillating. His name is William Levy, and he's earned a spot in my Stew of Sin (patent pending)...effective IMMEDIATELY! Heavens...is it warm in here?

Stew of Sin #137

2011-03-07T20:47:00.005-08:00

Cam Gigandet. Didn't know much (anything) about him before Burlesque. Still don't know much...except that he's a fine specimen of manhood (and he has a HOT ass) and he deserves a chance to impress me in the debauchery that is my Stew of Sin (patent pending). I welcome him. Hurry on in now! BTW, my sick mind would be remiss if it didn't mention that his last name looks like GIGANTIC. Just sayin'...

There are moments you remember all your life...

2011-03-07T18:58:00.002-08:00

Okay, a quote from YENTL may be a bit over the top, but it's what came to mind. And if you are to learn anything about me, it's that I write from a train of thought perspective. It was there, therefore it's now here.

The reading for TONIGHT I SHALL LEASE YOUR SOUL came to fruition last night. It was mind-boggling, anxiety-inducing, exciting, out of body and satisfying...to say the least.

I can't help but believe that there is more out there for me; beyond a retail gig where I rule. Let's face it, I'm very good @ that day job, but ultimately, that's not where I want to end up.

I'm not a fish out of water @ work. In fact, I'm a damn good salesman. I've been doing such jobs for long enough, that it's second nature.

But just as I felt when I first acted...when I first sat down to put my horrific visions to paper (ten years old I wrote my first story...a zombie tale--imagine that!), and then when I took up a position of power (the director's chair) where ultimately I could create and bring my vision to life. None of my projects have ever been perfect, but in my mind I was PERFECTLY suited for all of them. A good fit.

Last night was a reminder that I'm doing what God or the universe or whom/whatever meant for me to do. Not retail, not some stuffy office job and not providing customer service to those who have no clue about who I really am and what I'm truly capable of.

Sitting in that group of actors (I'm still reeling that all of these talented folks came together to help us (more specifically ME). It was a true reality check. Again, like when I first sat down to edit my first short film...it felt right. It was hard, I wasn't trained, but delving into that was a good thing. A right thing.

Last night was a right thing. Working to some goal on some creative project. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. I don't want to bitch or moan. I know I've got it good. I've got a supportive partner, a supportive writing partner, supportive friends and a job that let's me eat and keep a roof over my head. I never want to take those things for granted...but I still get those wild thoughts (imagine!) that I need to be doing something else. Creative ventures (writing is the biggie right now--obviously) are where I belong. I need to make things...stories, characters, movies...

I'm putting it out in to the universe right now. It's time. The time has come. I know what I need to be doing. It's been proven...finally. All of those past creative gigs were hints. They weren't ignored, just put aside perhaps. I'm ready to do what I love...and do it all the time. No more disgruntled customers. No more ringing in the holidays by being behind a busy cash register. No more commutes. No more "regular" schedules. I want to work for myself. I want to be in a job (writing/acting/directing and everything in between) where I will never feel inadequate or self aware again. Someplace where I'll feel comfortable. A square peg in a square hole. This is it folks. This is it world. This is it universe.

I go from YENTL to THE GOONIES. My time is now...down here. Down here being, what? My soul, heart, deeper recesses of my mind? I don't know. But it's time.

Later y'all.

Stew of Sin #136

2011-02-13T20:20:00.004-08:00

Michael C. Hall. He was cute in Six Feet Under, but he's SEXY AS HELL in Dexter. Now that I'm hooked on Dexter, I patiently sit through the opening credits on every episode...JUST SO THAT I CAN GET A GLIMPSE OF HIS ARMPIT HAIR WHEN HE PUTS ON HIS T-SHIRT...and of course for that final slo-mo look he gives the camera. YOWZA!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not FREAKY about such things (odors and what-not), but I do love me a sexy armpit.

Hall has that rare quality in a hot-tub lover...he's very sexy but also has a very cute boy-ish quality.

Add on top of that; he's a very talented actor.

Maybe it's the newly-formed Dexter addiction talking, but I'm completely and totally in love with him. Let's just throw it out there.

Whenever I've said it before in my Stew of Sin (patent-pending) posts, I never meant it. For Michael C. Hall, I MEAN IT. He's soooooo my new boyfriend!

Stew of Sin #135

2011-02-05T22:20:00.004-08:00

Karl Urban. We just finished Red. Before you get on me for this; I am aware of his existence in other blockbuster films (not that Red wowed audiences into spending lots of cash). Of course, it wasn't until I checked IMDB, upon completion of our viewing this evening, that I remembered he was the new "Bones" in the Star Trek. You'll have to forgive me for forgetting him...Chris Pine took all of my attentions in that film. And yes, I did remember finding Mr. Urban attractive in the second and third installments of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

Well tonight, he made me to sweat, swoon and salivate. What a fine specimen of manhood he is. Tall, dark and handsome...and WHAT A HAIRCUT!

I welcome Karl (he said it's okay to call him by his first name...once we had consummated our relationship) into my Stew of Sin (patent pending). Plenty of room...but only for the best.

So very fine.

Stew of Sin #134

2011-01-17T21:02:00.004-08:00

Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Just saw Inception, and it was this viewing which made my tongue to wag. He's so totally in my Stew of Sin (patent pending), and here's a lovely shirtless photo of him to confirm this latest choice. He may not totally look it, but dammit, he IS of age...so get off my back.

Stew of Sin # 133

2011-01-03T12:12:00.006-08:00

Been awhile since I posted a new entry to my Stew of Sin (patent pending), but that just means I haven't found anyone I found hot enough to attain such an honor. In light of our recent viewing of the remake for The Crazies, I am posting a photo of Timothy Olyphant. This has to be the first thing I've seen him in since Scream 2, oh-so many years ago. And that's basically all I know him for. Scratch that. I know he's done a great deal, but I've never seen his other work.

Since he had no shirtless moments in The Crazies (utter ridiculousness), I had to search for something that would allow me to judge his physique (which was CLEARLY good based on how he appetizingly filled out his sheriff's uniform in the aforementioned The Crazies).

This shot of his stew-worthy body is from The Perfect Getaway; which I have always wanted to see. I'm sure it's nothing superb, but it has a decent cast; and Mr. Olyphant appears shirtless, so it has to be worth something.

I welcome Timothy Olyphant to my sinful water display...room right next to me...right over here by the jets. So nasty, am I.

One other thought. He reminds me a bit of a person I've known for many years, but I will refrain from revealing such details; as it would only spark controversy, horror and a lessened opinion by others of yours truly. Intrigued? I didn't think so.

2011 New Year's Resolutions -- To Do List Extravaganza!!

2010-12-31T18:51:00.002-08:00

Please note that my list is greatly abbreviated from the past few years.

I’ve decided to make it more realistic,

thus allowing for less guilt and depression when they

don’t all find themselves completed by the end of the year.

I’m thinking ahead people.

1) Reading for “Tonight I Shall Lease Your Soul”

2) Trailer for “Tonight I Shall Lease Your Soul”

3) Not My Mess Films Website Completed

4) Rough Draft of “A. Family Portrait”

5) New Draft of “Me & Simon Baker”

6) Query Letters for “A. Family Portrait”

7) Query Letters for “Tonight I Shall Lease Your Soul” ??

8) Reading for “Me & Simon Baker”

There. That’s it. Do-able. Good Lord, I hope so.

Flabbergasted...

2010-12-16T15:42:00.003-08:00

Today @ work...a rather INSANE situation.

Woman calls for one of my co-workers. Wants to order an item. I place her on hold. Page my co-worker. She's with a customer in the store. She says she'll get it; after I tell her who the customer is and what she wants to order. A maximum of two minutes pass. The phone rings. It's the woman, saying she was disconnected. I advise her that co-worker is still with a customer. I place her on hold. Co-worker is going to be a minute; and can I please place the order for the phone customer. "Of course, I will." I pick up the phone. The customer starts to complain that I left her on hold for 10 minutes. I advise that it has been only a 2 minutes; tops. She goes on and on, getting very heated. She refuses to deal with me. Only w/ my co-worker. I then advise her that I can take a phone # and have co-worker return her call. She refuses. She then starts yelling that I shouldn't be in retail and that I'm rude. I tell her that she's being rude and I'm trying to help her. She then says something I cannot understand and hangs up.

A few minutes later...she calls back. I am the only one available. She insists that I give the phone to co-worker; or someone else...ANYONE ELSE. I again advise that no one is available. She then insists that I give the phone to a CUSTOMER...anyone but me. She says that she will have me fired. I advise her, "I'm sure that won't happen." I again try to get her phone # so co-worker can call her back. She's now screaming and just before a cowardly hang up (hers, not mine), she says, "I think you're a FAG!"

Of course, I'm SHOCKED. WTF?

I tell the co-worker (who is now available) to expect a call back from this CERTIFIABLE CRAZY LADY. Indeed, she calls back. A different co-worker answers the phone...only to have to listen the woman tell him that "she doesn't trust me" and that I'm "whiny".

Co-worker (whom she originally wanted) gets on the line. The order is placed, and on top of ALL of this, she REPEATS what she said to me (to co-worker); insults and all; in her complaint to co-worker. Flat-out telling co-worker that, "I called him FAG."

What is going on w/ people and who is supposed to give this woman her medication? Cuz apparently, they missed her on this afternoon's rounds.

Jeez.

This world is MESSED UP.

Happy Holidays to you too; you psycho-bitch.

Of course, not 1/2 hour later, I am helping a sweet old couple. The man tells me "You're a good man" and a "good worker". In my mind; I'm asking him, "Are you sure I'm not a whiny fag instead?", but in reality, I reply with a humble "thank you."

That is all.

I Want That #14

2010-10-09T19:50:00.005-07:00

It's not a secret that the other half (from here on out he will be referred to as "the Mr.") and I are living in a rental situation. Once upon a time we owned (as much as we can say we owned--since it really was the bank's the entire time we were there) in beautiful Chicago. Perhaps one day soon, the heavens will shine upon us, and allow us to again own our own property...this time, without common walls, with no neighbors too close and with outdoor space where we can prance about naked (okay, erase that horrid image from your mind). At any rate, we've always kept a watch out for any properties that may strike our fancy. We've been eye-ing this one for a bit, and it's still available; for the low, LOW price of 2.8 million.

If you don't dream, you die.

Anyway, enjoy the link w/ all the fancy pics and virtual tour and other goodies.

I give us another year before we're in. Hey, this same sort of wishing got us to LA w/in my allotted wish time. Don't knock it!

BTW, it's off in a corner, away from infected and noisy neighbors (I would hope) and almost has a "compound" feel. Fenced in, fortified...perfect for a possible zombie outbreak. I've got my priorities, folks.

Enjoy.

http://www.redfin.com/CA/Los-Angeles/7933-Fareholm-Dr-90046/home/7116282

An Evening with Vaginas in Their Various Guises

2010-09-30T23:40:00.008-07:00

Such an evening. So many things.

WARNING--THIS POST CONTAINS SOME VERY EXPLICIT, FOUL-MOUTHED LANGUAGE.

Enjoy.

I left work @ about 4pm, headed just a few small miles west...to Century City. We had tickets to a one-time screening of "The Exorcist"...BUT FIRST--

We headed to a place called Pink Taco. It was our first experience of the evening w/ the many synonyms for the female version of the human anatomy. It's a Mexican place, and we were to meet Mr. McCaleb there for a pre-movie dinner. The food was great, the innards were pink (if you catch my drift) and we had a coupon. Good times. They even had a statue of the Virgin Mary, with a paint job surrounding her; in the form of--well, it looked like a vagina (perfect "appetizer" for "The Exorcist" just a few moments away--convenient!) Pink Taco--new one to me. Gross.

The information on our tickets for the film (oops, PICTURE--I want to call them PICTURES from here on out!) said there would be behind-the-scenes footage, but didn't mention that it would be BEFORE the 7pm showtime! Like, DUH--would have been good to know. So, we arrived a couple of minutes before the start, only to find Linda Blair talking about pea soup, or some other slimy anecdote (on screen, not in person).

The PICTURE (caught it this time) was filled with its usual greatness, and there was a continuation of the behind-the-scenes goodies afterward (don't know HOW I held my bladder that long). It was "the version you've never seen", but I noticed a missing "flash" of Pazazu that I specifically recall seeing in the later version when it was released back in 2000. Hmm. A few things. Did you know that Max Von Sydow (Father Merrin) was in his 40's when he played the exorcist? Neither did I. Also, the woman playing Father Karras' mother (Vasiliki Maliaros) was either chosen from the street, cuz she was so real--or is simply one of the best actresses that has ever appeared on film. I had to marvel @ her performance, cuz it wasn't one. Just realism. Watch her the next time you screen the PICTURE. Her brief exchange w/ Damian when he's bandaging her leg is marvelous. And, Father Dyer is a big old queen, and I'm surprised he didn't molest Karras after he removed his shoes and stole his half-smoked cigarette. Yes, I went there.

So this brings me to our second encounter w/ the vagina. "Do you know what she did? Your c***ing daughter?" What was the other line...something about letting Jesus do something, right? Oh, and what the doctor said about Regan's cursing. Lots of talk about lady parts.

Finally, the film (dammit, PICTURE) gave a couple of fun ideas that could be incorporated into the script which Mr. McCaleb and I are working on...well, that we WERE working on, since I've been nothing but a lazy writer with not so much an excuse as a simple "writer's block". Oh well.

We dropped off Mr. McCaleb, and headed on down Sunset, hitting a snafu of traffic toward Wilshire (which left me utterly impatient and angry)...and then--much closer to home, we were REAR-ENDED.

Here's where the third instance of our bush (excuse me) brush with the vagina comes into play. Interestingly enough, it was the "C" word again. We were @ a light, completely stopped, when we felt a hard bump and heard a "kuuuu-runch". Immediately, the other half got out and moved toward the car; which contained a woman (lady parts), and in anger (as many would do, and certainly HE would do) shouted something along the lines of "you stupid c***!" Needless to say, I was also unhappy, cuz I just wanted to come home and blog for all of my avid readers (of 0)! A couple of witnesses were on the scene, one of whom was a nice guy who came up to protect the woman who had rear-ended us. Being that we, two hopelessly effeminate gay men, were clearly going to attack her (gimme a break). While I appreciate his valiant knight routine, there was really no cause for alarm. We may have trucker mouths, but we're not violent, for Goddsake. Besides, I once shaved my legs for a drag stage role.

Anyway, things calmed down, and information was exchanged, but not before the rear-ender felt the need to cry (cuz she was called a name in anger-grow up, shall we?), and not before the valiant white knight got in the other half's face, and not before the rear-ender had the opportunity to play to perfection the part of the "victim" as yesterday was her birthday. I find this whole thing similar to the "noise issues" we're currently experiencing @ home. Quick history--we have neighbors who insist on playing their crappy, loud THROBBING dance music @ ridiculous hours of the day (i.e 4am on Sunday mornings--note the PLURAL) leaving us w/ little option but to write copious letters to our landlord, asking (BEGGING) that something be done. Our latest trip to speak to said landlord, to find out what is being done, only served to reveal that the NOISE-MAKERS wrote some form of complaint letter ABOUT US! Yeah, I don't get that either.

The connection here, is that I'm SICK AND TIRED of standing up for myself, and then the wrong-doers (makes me think of W.'s "evil-doers") attempt to make themselves the VICTIM. What is wrong in this world? You effed up, take responsibility, say your sorry and KNOCK OFF THE STUPID BEHAVIOUR!

The rear-ender proceeded to state that "she wouldn't have said such horrible things." Let me address that. We're not you. Everyone reacts to situations differently. You screwed up, not us. Get over it. She also said that she was "paying attention." Huh? PAYING ATTENTION? That's the best you can do? What kind of stupid thing is that? Who says something that dumb? Oh, you do, when you're in a stressful situation, cuz you just say what spills out of your mouth...hmm, JUST LIKE WE DID. Moron.

Of course, I'm left to stress about this, just as much as I am stressing about the noisy neighbors. I've read enough news reports, and watched enough Keith Olbermann to see that so many injustices happen in our legal system and in our society. The real victims get dragged around cuz the perpetrators (for lack of a better word) make a big stink, as if they were wronged. What was that case from years ago, about a burglar who sued the owners of the home he was robbing; cuz he slipped on their floor, or fell down their stairs, or some other ridiculous claim--and he won, if I recall. But, I don't have all the details. Maybe I'm just re-upping an urban legend. Whatever. You know it has happened, and it proves my point.

And in all of this, our precious Junior (our beloved truck) has his pride (not to mention his backside) hurt; cuz someone else was too busy texting or praying or eating or applying makeup or talking on the phone or looking in their glove compartment or changing the radio station or picking their nose or dying their hair or checking their watch or microwaving a burrito--to actually drive correctly.

This shit pisses me off, and maybe this is why I'm gay. I had a great evening with vaginas, but the ending portion of my journey to the other team ended w/ gunk on my face.

Ewwww.

Here's Your One Chance, Fancy--Don't Let Me Down...

2010-09-10T22:52:00.003-07:00

Feelin' a little reflective this evening. Couldn't possibly be the fact that I'm listening to an old Reba McEntire album from my youth. Rumor Has It...recently named as one of my most "memorable" albums (per a Facebook Note). Will stick w/ me always. Okay...sure. Reba McEntire. Great album; and not just for "Fancy".

The other half is out w/ the McCaleb/Franklin clan, and I am home alone for the first time in what must be ages. We've got the old desktop up and running (one of the many treasures from our storage explorations). Looking at raw footage of French Toast and Ready to Go. Was on quite the run of movie-making in that little year or so, and now...nothing. I'm in Hollywood, and not making movies. Hmm. Doesn't quite add up.

The move and addition of our long lost goods has left me w/ little time, and what time I do have, I want to relax. We've already painted, taken two truckloads to Goodwill, sold some furniture pieces (rather quickly, I might add) on CraigsList. We've only begun to purge. And it feels pretty super-great.

I feel like a schmuck for having done NO writing on ANYTHING in the past month...at least. Feels like I'm in some strange new place (which I am) with no motivated moments (which is true), and a job that is coming up to a two-year anniversary. Hard to believe, certainly.

I did find time to sit down and read a book. Stephen King's "Cell". A quick read; about 6 hours to complete. Could I have been writing? Apparently not, or I would have been, right? The book was immensely entertaining. Gory, zombie-esque and with some crazy twists and turns. If I were still acting (which I'm not) and pursuing an acting career w/ my usual fervor (which was minimal even back in the day), I would be VERY interested in playing the lead character; Clay--when the film is made. It only occurs to me how much I love to read when I'm actually doing it...but then it seems like a chore to pick up more than an IKEA catalog to peruse. I'm tired of my lameness and laziness. It's on the verge of pathetic; and yet I carry on. Many others in this crazy-ass world who have a lot larger problems than I do w/ my fat belly and a roof over my head and a paycheck every two weeks. I got nothing to complain about, and yet, here I am. Sad.

Speaking of our place...It's been a month already. Lots done, and having our things around us does make a large difference; I think. Just knowing my things aren't "scattered to the wind" (Titanic), and being able to reminisce about all the crap, and then getting rid of lots of that crap and leaving our true valued possessions behind to figure out where they must go.

We currently don't have a lot of extra funds (what else is new?) to get all of the shelving we need to put out our massive collections of toys/DVDs and zombie-related memorabilia. So those boxes are unopened (for the most part). Once we get our library of shelving from the afore-mentioned IKEA Gods, we'll be in business. I'm just feeling more to home. It's high time we "settled in". It's been almost 2 1/2 years since we landed in LA. Still strikes me as odd.

Another infection has spread here in our building. Several neighbors find it necessary to blast their music (w/ heavy bass) at all hours of the day and night. It has been addressed via a letter from management to said neighbors, and in a letter from my desk to management to complain and advise that I will be "keeping notes on any further disturbances". Right now, it's 11:12pm, and above us, the bass is booming so loudly that our windows are rattling. I've always said I wanted to be back in college (the best days of my life), and apparently I'm getting what I wished for. "Courtesy call"? Maybe it's needed.

This cry-fest is over. Later.

BTW, this was written @ about 11pm on a Friday night--9/10/10. It'll probably show up on Facebook (via their automatic "updater" whatever you want to call it) in about a month or so. Timely AND convenient.

Kind Words from Long Ago...

2010-08-31T10:21:00.003-07:00

Shortly after my father passed away (over 3 years ago--already--crazy), I received this email from one of my close college buddies; Ryan. I always saved the email, cuz it was just so special and it warmed my heart. I was just going through my emails and clearing them out; when I happened upon his words. I asked him shortly after the fact, if he would be okay w/ me posting the note. He said that was fine, but I realize I never did. So I want to do so now. He's referencing "Sid's Apple", my first screenplay. Thanks again RNH, you rock! I miss living next door to you and enjoying those "special nights". HA!

Here it is.

"My God Michael,

I had been so wrapped up in my own writing that I hadn't been keeping up on my Klugula reading. I had no idea that your father had past away or of your journey back home (and now back home to Chicago).

Of course my thoughts are now entirely with you.

Sorry for not writing sooner.

I'll remind you how much I loved Sid's Apple and that I love it not only because of its simple genius but because of its heart, which is of course your heart. For me, it is impossible to separate the two but it seems equally impossible that anyone else reading it (or seeing it one day) could not be moved by its examination of the people (not characters) that you have brought so vividly to life.

My own work has always been more concerned with ideas, or the idea of humanity (often but not always at the expense of actual 'humans'). That's me so no need to fit my squareness into any round holes, I guess.

But that's always been the riddle of my friend, Mike. The bloodthirsty horror hound with far reaching human empathy, depth of self-evaluation and an endless fascination of other people; whether it be a pop diva, an alien from V: The Final Battle, an empty chalice of a character in a play that you can pour yourself into, or the person living down the hallway from you.

I also greatly admire your sense of justice. And for my own part, I personally feel less alone in the world when I hear you say you hated Transformers.

Sorry to get so gushy. But there you go.

Take good care and get some rest."

Leaving Behind the Infection

2010-08-05T21:33:00.004-07:00

Several updates that may or may not excite you. More than likely it's the latter.

Let me tell you a story about moving. We've done it...again. It's a little simpler than other living venue changes, but the big part is yet to come. We've left behind the 8th floor of the Madison Apartments; here in Hollywood. Like the Jeffersons, we too have moved up...2 floors to be exact. Exactly 2 floors above. A few wonderful things about this change. We have a dishwasher. We have hardwood floors (or some sort of non-carpet, manufactured something-or-other type situation). We have approximately double the space we had in our studio; and we have a one-bedroom layout now. SEPARATE ROOMS. What a novel idea! We now have a view of downtown LA (if we could ever get a decent sunny day!). And be not worried Facebook friends, we have also kept our spectacular Oscar behind-the-scenes location...just two floors higher. Thus, my frequent, almost-irritating updates of things you really don't care about, will not be interrupted this coming award season.

Of particular note, we have left behind the "infected" woman sharing our walls on the 8th floor.

For those who don't follow Facebook, or avoid my status updates altogether, you should know that last week we were awoken not once, but TWICE, by our new neighbor. Once @ midnight (or thereabouts) and once @ 2am (within 3 days of each other)...Called the cops twice (they showed up the first time). The woman was yelling, crying and pounding...at the aforementioned UNGODLY hours of the night. The second time, since we now knew she wasn't being butchered or turned into some sort of horrible "human centipede", by some wretched, crazed German scientist, we took it upon ourselves to put on clothes which would allow us to appear decent in polite society @ 2am, and knocked on her door; only to have her "issues" continue...our pounding inquiries unanswered. We called the cops this second time around, basically to lodge a noise complaint. A few moments after our knocking, she left her unit. We approached her, asking (in a nice huffy tone), "What is going on next door?" Of course, as with all psychotic freakish neighbors, SHE was the victim, and was apparently "having a fight" and "didn't need this". We advised her that we didn't appreciate being woken up @ 2 am, and she retaliated with, "I don't appreciate you calling the cops on me." She then promptly stormed down the hallway and out the staircase door. (We held the elevator in order to find out what was going on--she then tried to exit via the stairs--through another apartment door--full deck, folks). Anyway, we called the cops to let them know she had left, and there was no need to check in on her.

Sooo, the next day, the other half sees her in the lobby with her father. The "infected" woman and the other half exchange haughty glances. She says to her father; in Spanish..."That's him." The father gets in the other half's face, accusing him of "threatening his daughter."

NOTE: Gimme a break.

Back to the story. In a RARE moment of civility and poise, the other half doesn't reply w/ anger; but rather a calm soothing tone. I'm told that by the end of the conversation, and post-other-half-psycho-babble (he does have a Masters Degree in Psychology--let it be known--be aware) that the father was thanking the other half for his help. The "infected" girl (this is where I kinda/sorta feel a bit guilty) is actually only 19, and has a history of mental issues, and has tried to commit suicide a number of times.

Let me take a break here. Who decided it would be a super-good idea for a suicidal teenager to live alone in a high-rise building on the 8th floor with a balcony? Um, yeah...

Anyway, they apologized for the noise and the disturbances, etc. The other half coached her about the boyfriend she is currently with; apparently the one making her have her tantrums @ 2am.

Thin walls, people.

The pounding which was the first part of the tantrum to wake us (TWICE) from a dead sleep, was her stamping her feet; like a 2 year old. Neat.

So, two days later, we were moved up two floors, and not a moment to soon; for my money. I wouldn't want to be next door to her apartment on the evening she gets some really bad news from her apparently manipulative boyfriend. I'll call the cops on my dime, but I don't want them surrounding my building on the ground floor for cleanup; if you catch my drift.

BTW, one of the cops from the night they actually showed up...was SUPER HOT.

Finally, where does the "infected" terminology come from? Here's that info.

We were awoken by our neighbor to her pounding, crying and yelling. So we called the cops.

Not a week before, the other half and I watched Quarantine and REC (REC is the original--Quarantine is the US remake--not much difference between the two). Two pseudo-zombie/infected person movies which I had been dying to see. They were both super good and I highly recommend them. Anyway, the opening of the film is a camera crew following some firefighters, who get called to an apartment building. A neighbor has called about a disturbance. A neighbor has woken them in the middle of the night. They heard POUNDING, CRYING AND YELLING. Need I say more?

Zombies are ALWAYS in the forefront of my mind and imagination. But you have to admit, that was some weird timing; w/ those films so fresh in my memory? Am I right?

So anyway, we have a larger, more updated place, and we are two floors away from the "infected" woman.

We will be receiving the rest of our belongings (you'll recall that all of our kept stuff from Chicago is still sitting in storage in Phoenix--remember that Phoenix fiasco?) in the next couple of weeks, and then we will have all of our belongings with us. No doubt there will be another purge of "stuff" since we've managed to live the past two years w/out all of it. So, let's rid ourselves of some more weight.

We are SUPER-THRILLED to be in a new, larger space; and expect to be here for a while.

After 2+ years in LA, we're finally settling in; and dammit--IT FEELS GOOD.

Night y'all.

I Want That #13

2010-07-15T21:27:00.003-07:00

A new piece arrived in the store this week. I am in love w/ this. And the main reason? This looks like something that Princess Aura would have had in her powder room in the 1980 craptastic classic cheese-fest (which I happen to ADORE) Flash Gordon. So very cool. Enjoy.

http://www.zgallerie.com/p-9286-pierre-mirror.aspx

Dear Hallmark Channel...

2010-07-14T10:09:00.003-07:00

Leave my GIRLS alone!

While I appreciate you taking over the license for The Golden Girls reruns from Lifetime when they ran out their contract; it would make me very happy if you would stop cutting them to pieces.

Let me first point out that I know my almost lifelong obsession w/ a show about 4 older women is probably a bit creepy (let me rationalize by saying that I'm not the only one), but I would rather just bask in my strange love, than question it.

But Hallmark has made a bad habit of messing w/ these classic episodes. If you too watch these elderly repeats (pun intended), then you too have noticed what I have.

1) You keep adding music cues at inappropriate places. It's as if you're cutting the laughter from the last zinger; right before the commercial break; just a smidge ahead of what is once was. It's irritating. It's jarring. And what the hell difference does it make--leaving those few seconds?

2) Your establishing shots are completely out of whack. In your quest to re-edit and apparently offer an extra few seconds to your precious ads (for The Scooter Store and other age appropriate sponsors), you're mixing establishing shots up w/ what follows in the actual scene. More than once I've seen the iconic house in a night shot; only to have the next shot in the girls' kitchen--and it's broad daylight out the window over the sink. ??? Also, I've seen an establishing shot of the house; and the scene following is in a completely different location. What gives?

3) Finally, you're cutting jokes and scenes that I know very well. It's very clear that something is missing...even if you don't know these episodes like the back of your hand. The abrupt edit is so distracting; and in many cases--removing some of the best jokes of the episode! I've noticed this in many an episode, but there was one (which now slips my mind) the other day which really caught my eye.

In closing, please leave my show alone. I'm glad you've taken over the reins; and that it still has a place on television after having been off the air almost 20 years; but knock this s*** off.

Best...

KLUGULA

New "House of Black Wings" Review

2010-06-28T08:56:00.002-07:00

Another review for House of Black Wings...the awesome film I was a part of back in Chicago. Congrats to David & cast/crew. Check it out!

http://www.beyondtherealms.com/House_of_Black_Wings.html

Stew of Sin #132

2010-06-25T22:27:00.004-07:00

This has been a long time in the coming. Why has it taken so darn long? I just don't know. No explanation will account for this slight. Peter Hinwood; the ABSOLUTELY HOT title character in the cult classic; The Rocky Horror Picture Show. While his haircut is a bit alarming; his body is a FIVE ALARM (what do you want from me; I'm tired). Check out these other photos of this hottie! The one w/ the stats looks current!

Stew of Sin #131

2010-06-07T23:35:00.006-07:00

Johann Urb. Never heard of him? Well, neither have I. The other half and I watched 2012 this evening; and he showed up in a bit role as "Sasha", the Russian pilot. He immediately caught my attention (in a purely non-sexual way, of course)...and so I've gone on to discover that he was also the hot blonde photographer in the short lived Eastwick series (which we watched about 2 episodes of). That cemented the deal; and he now has a place in my Stew of Sin. I've got a cute nerdy photo from Eastwick, a nice close up of him in distress (but retaining his blonde beauty) in 2012; and some other random shot of him shirtless. Covering all the bases here folks. Enjoy; I know I will. Ahem.

I Want That #12

2010-06-07T09:58:00.004-07:00

It's a new print available @ my store. But don't blame me for what it looks like. I didn't paint it, and I didn't put the bloody thought in my head. Co-workers suggested that it looked like someone had been shot while standing in front of the canvas. Well..."shot" led me to "shot in the head", which led me to "zombies" which led to Dawn of the Dead. The "blood" on this piece and the turquoise-ish color of the background; all looked like it was something out of the original Dawn of the Dead...very 70's, very Technicolor and the "blood" looks exactly like the blood spouting out of any of the number of unfortunate zombies who meet their end in the Monroeville Mall. So eventually, I'll have this piece included in my zombie collection. Are you surprised that I have a zombie collection? Then you just haven't been paying attention. The piece is called "Ruby"; which of course, reminds me of the old Piper Laurie horror flick. Double horror. Welcome to my brain; and its ridiculous needs and wants.

Stew of Sin #130

2010-06-04T10:24:00.004-07:00

Okay. I know I'm way behind on this...and I know he's deceased; so the chances of me ever consumating my love for him...well, they're pretty slim. In honor of my first James Dean film viewing (Rebel without a Cause) over the past weekend, I can not keep from falling in love with Mr. Dean; nor adding him to my celeb hot tub. Not only was he physically EXTREMELY sexy (that fabulous lower lip--perfect for biting), he was also so very kooky. As I've yet to see any other of his films; I don't know how much was part of the character and how much was actually him. I would venture to say that he's the first dead addition to my Stew; but I'd have to check to be sure. I mean, dead/alive...I've added fictional characters as well as animated ones. We don't discriminate here @ the Stew of Sin. The bottom line is that I now understand what the hoopla has been about these many years since he was introduced to the the world, and then so abruptly taken away. He was talented, funny, and based on the photo above, blessed with an appetizing treasure trail. He's beautiful in so many ways...and, as if he needed another...has gained another fan.

Stew of Sin #129

2010-06-04T10:18:00.004-07:00

The other half and I have become addicted to the new Let's Make a Deal; and God-willing, we'll someday make our way down Sunset to attend an actual taping. Until then, I'll have to content myself with just seeing photos and episodes starring my latest addition to the Stew of Sin. He's goofy, he's funny, he's quirky; and he's tall (you know what they say about tall men--I don't either...I'm asking you)...he's Jonathan Mangum; Wayne Brady's co-host on the show. He's just so adorable and lovable; and there's something about him that makes me melt. At the very least; he'll keep everyone entertained in the hot tub; with his wit...and keep ME entertained behind closed doors with his...wit. Wink, wink.

Stew of Sin #128

2010-06-04T10:11:00.003-07:00

Admittedly, I've only seen one film w/ this next addition (The Hangover); but I've seen enough photos and clips and trailers (many of them shirtless) to know that he deserves a coveted spot in my celeb hot tub...somewhere toward the front; where I hold court. I welcome Bradley Cooper. Let's for a moment, focus on this particular photo; which I've chosen to represent my choice. It's rare that a man posing like this; with arm up and pit revealed; that I won't immediately be smitten...and when it's Bradley Cooper; well. Let me just remind you that he's ALREADY been added. Lord have mercy...

What Did I Do While the Rest of the World Watched the "Lost" Series Finale?

2010-05-23T23:12:00.004-07:00

Well; since the "bring me up to date" show was 2 hours long, and the final episode was nearly 10 hours in length, I took it upon myself to grab a couple of the DVD's we have in stock here @ the homestead, sat down on the floor (where else can I go to escape while the other half watches a show he didn't care about until tonight?), put on the headset and attached it to the laptop, found a corner of our tiny little studio; propped myself up on some pillows (oh the comfort of a floor at my old age--stretch me out now please--remember the days you could fall asleep as a kid?--even on a hard floor...comfort was anywhere you could lie down--those days are long gone...but I digress)...and I watched two films that the other half had no interest in...two horror remakes (of two of my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIES) that I have had since we moved to LA; but have never taken the time to view. Well, first of all, we don't have a DVD player and the computer is never a great place to watch a whole movie; especially w/ two people...but again, I was alone on this excursion, while the other half sat in fascination, watching a television program we only watched a few episodes of; some 5 years ago or so. But I'm not bitter...I still plan to watch Lost on DVD at another time; if I can manage to hear nothing about it for the next several days of the news cycle. Fat effing chance!

Anyway, finally saw the remake for Day of the Dead. Pretty darn crappy. Allow me to mention the 5 items that remained from Romero's brilliant original. 1) Lead character's name is "Sarah". 2) Main army dude was named "Rhodes". 3) They escape the mayhem via a missile silo. 4) Nick Cannon (yes, Mariah's hubby) uses a machete; a la Terry Alexander's "John" in the original...and finally, 5) Their attempt at recreating "Bub" was just blasphemous. The character named "Bud" (ooh, clever) doesn't eat humans when he becomes a zombie; cuz...well, when he was alive; it is revealed that he's a vegetarian. This movie had no characters to root for...some very cheap CGI effects, and zombies capable of not only running, but climbing walls and ceilings; very much as you would see in any of The Matrix films. The entire thing reminded me of Alien vs. Predator: Requiem...and that's not a good movie. Small town taken over by some horrible epidemic...etc. It all turned out to be the product of bio-weapons gone wrong. There's an original idea. The production values; other than the stinging CGI gore effects, were not bad. Lots of crashes, extras and military vehicles. Good for you. But once again, I'm reminded of my own zombie scripts. Two brilliant ones that could bring something unique to the zombie genre. This movie wasn't horrible; it wasn't good. It was mildly entertaining; despite it's completely unoriginal story and direction. Worth mentioning, the zombie "moaning" was taken directly from Zack Snyder's 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead. In addition, Tyler Bates; the man responsible for that film's score; does the same thing here...literally. But while the Dawn of the Dead score is quite good, this one didn't do anything for the film; or on it's own. Finally, Steve Miner directed. Now, I've been happy w/ some of his horror efforts in the past (Friday the 13th 2 and 3 and H2O); but everything here was uninspired. Hey studios, spend the money on my scripts and get something worthwhile! A story...put your production values here, and maybe it'll work!

Rant complete.

My viewing of Day of the Dead was followed by a look at the remake of Black Christmas (or as the box says, "Black Xmas"). Not as tragic as I would have thought. While it didn't completely work, I was intrigued by the backstory of our good friend Billy. And certainly, the woman playing his Mom was the best thing about the whole film. Kudos to you, Karin Konoval... It lacked any of the menace or atmosphere of the original, and certainly didn't have anyone you really cared about. Not a complete waste of time...but again, only worthwhile for the Billy backstory. While I enjoyed these new developments, I think the original's lack of information on Billy's origins works better. Also, I had to wonder what was the reason for the casting of the actor playing adult Agnes. Hmmm. Weird. Oh yeah, I watched the alternate endings as well. The one which played closer to the original was much, much better.

So, Lost is over. Get it out of your systems media, cuz I don't want it to be ruined when I actually get around to watching it. Must avoid all news outlets; and you; my avid readers of 0, must avoid the two films I watched tonight.

That is all.

Concerns about the Living Dead #48

2010-05-12T11:53:00.003-07:00

It's been on my mind lately...actually for quite some time. Is it ridiculous for my main character in the "Baker" script to live in a large metropolitan area; when he is deathly afraid of zombies; and truly believes that one day; the zombie war will begin? I've recently come to a new idea on how to explain this away; and it actually gives some extra baggage to the character, so I will give it a go; but that's one major hole in my script, yeah? Thanks for your time...now get off the computer and go board up your windows. The zombies are-a-comin'. That is all.

Concerns about the Living Dead #47

2010-05-12T11:41:00.003-07:00

It appears as though George has plans for two more zombie films; apparently taking up w/ additional characters from Diary of the Dead (Survival of the Dead follows the National Guardsmen from Diary). Frankly, I wish he would go back to his previous films' and keep the character continuity to a minimum. Diary of the Dead was just awful, and I'm actually a bit terrified about how Survival of the Dead will be. I have hope, but that terrible last effort still lingers in my head. Of course, my last time seeing Diary of the Dead (on demand) was much less painful than the original screening in the theatre; some 2 years ago. Is it just the initial buildup and excitement--meaning he can do nothing to please me; or is it really a bad one? Argue amongst yourselves. Then again, Land of the Dead is now one of my favorite films; and the expectations (a 20 year wait, hello?) couldn't have been greater! However, I am on the lookout for upcoming screenings of his latest in LA. I will still go; out of obligation; and cuz I still believe in my legendary George. I think Land of the Dead ranks very high on his filmography; and that was only 5 years ago. Could he have lost the magic touch in the 3 or so years between Land and Diary? What gives?

Check out this link for more info...
http://www.slashfilm.com/2010/05/12/george-romero-has-ideas-for-two-more-dead-films-possibly-to-be-shot-back-to-back/

What the Hell?

2010-04-24T20:47:00.002-07:00

Hey folks...my blogging history has been permanently scarred by my recent absence. I can't change the time/date listings to make it look like I've been here on blogspot; and it has been well over a month since I last posted. For shame! Facebook has taken over my life; and basically the "blogging" part of my brain. I guess I get my blog fix by my mini-gripes/updates via FB. Things have transformed, but I feel as though I need to keep up somewhat on my blog; month long absence or NOT! I'm loyal that way.

Watching a little HGTV; on this; the first day of my three day weekend.

Friend Mr. Brownlee called me Friday night and wanted to know if I could come to a screenwriting seminar as his guest (free of charge) taught by his boss; Ms. Julie Gray. Check out her link here. I finagled my way out of my shift today (which is better; as I will now get 8 full hours of pay; rather than the 6 hours I was scheduled for), and spent a fabulous 6 hours w/ 9 other students. Great fun, and considering how long it's been since I spent time in a classroom environment, amazing how I stayed awake. Of course, we were learning and discussing screenwriting, so how could I not? Julie is an excellent teacher; and certainly keeps your attention. Lots of fun details, lots of realizations that I have plenty of work to do on my current and former projects, and lots of inspiration. I have a second day tomorrow; and am thrilled to go back. I've always been told that you should take any coursework or books on screenwriting; w/ a grain of salt. I agree w/ that, but I have found plenty in this course so far; and even found some new brainstorm ideas for the Simon Baker script. So well worth my time. Thanks Brownlee and Julie!

The co-project w/ Mr. McCaleb is moving along swimmingly. We are on the verge of a second draft for the project (due this coming Wednesday--following an extension on our previous deadline--this last Wednesday). We have also written some trailers (which we are definitely planning to shoot--sometime), researched plenty of trailer/poster art inspiration, and continued to be TOTALLY JAZZED about this collaboration. I feel (as does my writing partner) that we have something very good going here. Yeah, us!

I started a new script a few weeks ago; cranking out about 10 pages (if I recall--it's been a bit since I revisited it), using inspiration from a dream about The Addams Family, no less.

I'm kind of bummed at the moment, cuz (as usual), I have about 100 projects floating around in my head, but I find it difficult to focus on more than (maybe) two at a time. So everything else just sits on the back burner; staring at me; wondering when they're gonna get their time in the boiling water. How'd you like that analogy? I'm tired, so cut me some slack--this seminar was awesome, but my brain is fuh-ried!

I've now been @ the Z for over a year and a half. Stunningly, I'm NOT MISERABLE! I'm shocked about this; cuz other jobs (by now) would have worn me out. Don't get me wrong; I've had plenty of crappy days; but I have loyal clients and constant celeb sightings. Most recently, I sold furniture to Paul Anka. How's that for a job perk? Of course, I'd settle for a raise. :)

Mom's moved to Rapid City finally. It weirds me out to know that soon, my childhood home will be sold. But I'm glad that she'll be on to a better future. She'll be closer to family, and certainly will have a more fulfilling social life. For you see, when winter hits Lead/Deadwood; things tend to STOP. Rapid City's a bit more forgiving. Very proud of Mom...

My website (have you lazy asses visited it yet?) is under forever-construction. Someday it will be completed, but don't hold your breath. Just go visit it as is, and give me some feedback. That would be nifty. www.notmymess.com

My Stew of Sin (patent pending) series has suffered over the past month of non-blogging. I've got a few souls to add to my water party; but that'll be in a different entry.

We're a few days away from exactly 2 years since we arrived in LA. Remember that craziness two years ago, when the other half and I were residents of Phoenix for two weeks? A lifetime ago. We're happy here, but still wanting to settle somewhere more permanently. We've enjoyed our studio; but I'm ready to get a "real" place, get all of my things around me, and settle in to old age. Ha!

I turn 36 in a few months. Lord. Old age...

Been watching tons of South Park, Star Trek: The Next Generation and The Cosby Show reruns; not to mention the current seasons of V, RuPaul's Drag Race, The Amazing Race and Cougar Town. So much television; and yet I don't feel like we're as attached as we used to be. The magic of DVR, I guess. Watching whenever you want, and not being tied down to a time frame is truly the wave of the future.

Oh, and finally, a few of the brilliant customer service issues of the past weeks.

It's truck day; and our back door is wide open. I'm behind a wall when I hear, "Hello? Excuse me?" I come out and ask what I can do for her. "Where's the Crate and Barrel pickup". I explain that it's just up the alley a bit. "What do I do? Is there a buzzer?" STOP. I don't know, as I don't work for their company. What do these people expect from me? Go away...far away, and don't ever come to my back door again. For you see, I HATE YOU. Okay, I just told her I didn't know, but I did say it here, so that's all that counts.

So these two bitter, aging queens popped in to inquire about our gift registry. We recently got rid of our in-store system, and it is now online (which I would assume would be much easier for EVERYONE). Well, apparently not for them. When I explained that it was all online now, one of the queens "harumphed", stating, "Well that doesn't make any sense. Crate and Barrel has a computer in their store." Here we are again. We ARE NOT Crate and Barrel; and we do things differently. I don't know how other businesses operate, nor do I have any control over changes made by our corporate offices. I just follow the rules; as any good peon would do. So get out my face!

BTW, how much work would it be to combine my MySpace pages (not that I'm ever really there anymore)? I've got my personal page and my "not my mess films" page. I don't want two pages to sort of upkeep. :) Or should I just rid of them completely? Suggestions?

I'm off for the evening. Hope you've found reading this blog as tedious as I've found writing it.

That is all.

Revisit...

2010-03-18T10:24:00.005-07:00

This is ours...

We just found out that our old Chicago condo is back on the market...meaning the couple who purchased from us; has only been in there for 2 years. How much do you want to bet that the woman is pregnant? That's not meant to be a dig; I'm just going off of the bevy of HGTV programs where people move out of their current space cuz a baby's on the way. Anyway, there are photos of our old place; w/ their new decor. However, it's strange to see some of the pieces we sold to them; or the fixtures we left behind...in their home. Weird. I've decided to do a side by sid comparison of some of their spaces; as opposed to our spaces. This is very odd to see. In this photo, you can see the two snake plants we left to them. Nice to see that they're thriving.

Wine & Cheese

2010-02-26T19:43:00.002-08:00

The other half and I are about to embark on some wine drinking and cheese eating; here @ home. And why not? We've gussied up our place in the past two weeks; and we're loving our upgraded space.

It all started when friends Ami and Chris discussed the fact that their current apartment has gone through some transformations lately. The other half and I have always considered our current home as a temporary one; a sentiment shared by Chris and Ami back @ their homestead. Well, shit...we've been in our space close to two years now. We're in no position to buy a home; and have no intentions of moving until that day comes, so why not make things more homey in the meantime? Our belongings are still encased in (what must seem) a tomb in Phoenix. A tomb to our precious possessions. Will they ever see the light of day again? Hard to tell.

Anyway, we've accumulated quite a few new things since we landed in LA (May 4th will be 2 years--insane). Two weekends ago, I suggested we move things around a bit, just to add a little balance in our miniscule studio apartment. That set off a chain reaction of "making our space more liveable"; which has now been going on for about 2 weeks. New nightstands (I say nightstands when I mean those all-purpose 8 buck tables from IKEA), a nifty little bistro table and chairs (a steal from the ever-reliable IKEA), a new bedding set, a new shower curtain and rugs, some new plant life; and several other fun (but affordable) additions. We've moved around the art and accessories we purchased (thanks to the closing of two Z Gallerie locations last year--90% off EVERYTHING), actually putting thought into their placement. We have a shelving unit and a large wicker chair and an easel (courtesy of some fortunate dumpster diving in our own building). We also have some other great small furniture pieces through the folks at the Goodwill and some local rummage sales. All in all, we've done a great job w/ what we have. It DOES feel more like home; even though my toys and movie collections are sizzling away in the AZ sun.

On another front, the apartment next door (the one we've been pining for over the last 6 months or so) remains empty. What's going on, you ask? Give a holler out to our property manager, and you'll get the same answer we always do. "It's being worked on." Well, the place is done, and it looks great. We've no idea of a price, so it may not be ours even if we wanted it. We then found out (a couple of days ago) that another apartment down the hall was recently renovated as well (dishwasher, new appliances, granite countertops, new--fabulous cupboards, hardwood floors). It's done, and we've seen it. We want THAT ONE. It's a larger studio than what we are currently in. All the glorious new finishes are eye-catching and spark some envy. We want it. No idea on price for that. However, we figure we can up our rent amount by a bit; if we were to finally get our possessions out of storage...thus saving our funds from the storage to be used toward a new monthly rent amount. Get it? So that's all up in the air. We've decided that if we don't get some kind of answer in the near future; about a possible other apartment in our building; that we'll continue to "settle in" further; into our current place. Possibly get our stuff from storage; stay at the same rent amount, paint some walls, etc.

The other half has emerged from the shower. Thanks...there's that first glass of wine.

I so rarely blog anymore, this seems quite foreign to me. I also realize that this long-ass blog will turn away my avid readers of 0. Too much crap...and not in an economical bite size. My apologies.

The work front hasn't really changed. The company now has provided me with what I will call a "strike two". I didn't get that Asst. Manager job (whether I wanted it or not), and I'm happy that the "drama" has pretty much died down. However, I may forgive; but I will not forget. I've been screwed over twice now...and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. But, I am still pretty much happy there (it's almost a year and a half for me now). Although, my "bad" days; those moments when I lose patience w/ unruly customers; have definitely found more frequency. Buyer beware; indeed.

My writing has been progressing nicely...or not. I have had a couple of interesting dreams; sparking some great new ideas. However, I've not acted on them, and have done little on existing projects. I don't know what my deal is. Almost three weeks ago, I had a lengthy meeting w/ my writing partner. We discovered that we were further along than we had remembered, and vowed to have a rough draft; come hell or highwater, by March 7th (Oscar night). This means that the pathetic amounts of work I have done over the past 3 weeks, must be put to shame by the amount of work I must complete in the next 9 days (is it?--Jeez). We've got some fabulous structure and it's a golden idea; so why can't I get something done? I'm just infuriated w/ my own sloth. Not liking myself much right now.

I've even placed a large handwritten sign on our fridge stating, "Sunday March 7th--'Tonight' is due!!" Clearly a very strong motivator.

Gouda cheese is "gooda" indeed.

Yes, I am ready for another glass of wine.

In family news, my mother closed on her first home (as a single lady). She'll be slowly moving over the next few months; obviously going faster once the weather lets up...you poor SD folks! I'm very proud of her. I think most of my family (including me) gave her very little credit for self-suffiency after my dad died. It took some time, but I think she's proven that she can make it on her own. I'm anxious to find the perfect housewarming gift for her; once she's in the new space. She leaves behind the home that I grew up in; and that weirds me out a bit. It leaves little reason for me to return to Lead/Deadwood (other than as a tourist--of course--the place is FRIGGIN' FUN!). She's off to Rapid City; where she'll be closer to needed conveniences, her grandchildren, and a more full social life. Good for you Mom! Love you!

In other news, the other half found a great deal on "GroupOn". Not sure if you're aware of this place, but they offer generous discounts; if lots of folks sign up. So I got a sitting for new headshots (a value of 250 bucks) for only 60 bucks. Of course, I'm not really pursuing acting heavily (okay, not at all), but it will be nice to get some new shots; for a bargain...just so they're at the ready. I'm really excited about them.

Not much else going on...living life; going to work...moping about my shortcomings; and wishing I could find my muse to get some serious writing done. I guess it happens when it happens...or when I push for it; just to meet that deadline of Oscar night. Dammit.

Thanks y'all.

That is all.

Stew of Sin #127

2010-02-23T17:22:00.003-08:00

Casey James. He's the Hanson brothers look-a-like; currently residing in the top 24 of this season's American Idol. Since he first took off his shirt in his original audition; thus fulfilling Kara's wish (not to mention mine), he has been on my mind. Whether or not I continue w/ my American Idol viewing (I usually crap out once the show gets to the top 24; and starts clogging up the airways w/ 3 shows a week--that's just to much to keep up on), remains to be seen.

Move over folks, Casey's got a spot next to me in my celeb hot tub; known as the sexy Stew of Sin.

Stew of Sin #126

2010-02-23T17:16:00.003-08:00

He's Mike Holmes; of the DIY Network's Holmes on Homes. I love the show, and the fact that the star is so butch, handsome, rugged and direct; just makes it all the better. Besides, having him in the ever-expanding Stew of Sin (patent pending) could truly be an asset. Think about it, when the capacity is near to bursting, and the hottub begins to bust wide open, who better to fix it all up, allowing all of us to continue in our sinful water display? That's right. Welcome Mike Holmes.

New Review for "House of Black Wings"!

2010-02-17T23:01:00.002-08:00

Check out this link. My beloved House of Black Wings gets a great new review. While I'm not mentioned, my character is... "scratchily manic writer". Nifty.

http://www.horrorsociety.com/2010/02/15/review-house-of-black-wings/

So Long, Tangina...

2010-01-28T09:08:00.006-08:00

Zelda Rubinstein; our dearest Tangina of the Poltergeist films; has died.

I knew her also from the 80's craptastic film Teen Witch, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Sixteen Candles and of course as the narrator of Scariest Places on Earth.

But we're always going to remember her as the miniscule medium, who has trouble knowing when a house is actually clean.

While she was never as good in the sequels (I'm talking about you Poltergeist III), she was a breath of fresh air in the original Poltergeist. I've mentioned it before, and will do so here...again. Poltergeist is one of my top favorite films, and nothing can top the scene where Tangina tells the tale of what has happened to our poor Carol Anne. The terrifying and captivating "Beast" speech. Great delivery, great reaction, great scares. Easily a top scene in the history of film...in my opinion of course.

She was a terrific character actress, and certainly...she will be missed.j

So long, Zelda...

Here's a link w/ info.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100128/ap_on_en_mo/us_obit_zelda_rubinstein_6

Why are people so darn dumb?

2010-01-21T22:08:00.003-08:00

I was just wandering around on YouTube, and I always end up checking out clips from The Golden Girls. So sue me. I found a clip from the episode where Rose (in her job as a television producer) puts Blanche and Dorothy; "two women who live and sleep together" on a show about lesbians. The joke is hysterical, the writing and performances pitch perfect (as they always were). So, someone decided to comment on this clip. Following is a link to that clip on YouTube. Please note the first comment. Why are some people just so darn dumb? You missed the boat, you have no sense of humor, and you JUST DON'T GET IT. Stupid people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqAJIvbnkZg

What Recession? (and other gripes)

2010-01-05T13:48:00.004-08:00

I have now been responsible for taking the deposits to our new bank (@ work--we switched from Bank of America recently) only three times. The first time was fine, but my last two experiences have been less than stellar. My first problem, is that our old bank was 3 doors down from our store. Our new one is not a hike by any means, but it still takes a bit of time to walk to the new institution. Gets me out of the store for a few minutes anyway--so no gripe there.

The second to most recent venture had me dropping my jaw at the ridiculous disorganization rampant in this place. The line was long, employees were standing around. I was brought to the front by one of the apparent managers, so she could count my money; thus giving the teller I would ultimately end up with; a bit of a head start. She asked no less than 3 tellers if I could be taken next, and then I was overrun by someone else. In the end, I finally got my deposits counted, and my change...well, changed. My round trip; for simple deposits and a bit of change, ended up being about 25 minutes. WTF?

Okay, moving on to yesterday. This is a legitimate concern; unlike the previous gripe.

My return to the bank found me at the teller in a matter of seconds. Good. Great. Wonderful start.

For being a teller @ a high profile bank in the heart of Beverly Hills, I was flabbergasted by his service skills; not to mention his cash handling. I don't know who hired this guy, or why. He handled cash as if he had never done so before; seemingly having a difficult time counting the money (not sure why he didn't us the machine that counts the bills automatically?). It was as if he were a child! I had four deposits, and a change request. The biggest shocks of this event are listed from the not sooooo bad, to completely unbelievable.

1) He counted one of the deposits, which had checks as well as cash. On the bottom of the deposit slip (pretty common I'm guessing), was the total for checks AND cash. A frightening concept apparently. Since my change didn't match up w/ what was on the deposit slip, he felt the need to question me. I explained that the amount on the bottom, would show the cents from both the checks AND cash. Based on his reaction, this was an eye-opener.

2) After a long journey to finish those pesky deposits (what w/ CASH of all things AND some double digit CHECKS for crying out loud!), it was time for me to make change for our registers. While it may seem a bit more time consuming for me to list my change order by our 2 cash registers (keeping it easy for us upon return to the store); certainly this is not a big deal for a person at a bank to decipher...one would think. A quick add up of $50 in 1's for REGISTER ONE, and a $50 in 1's for REGISTER TWO; would be $100 in 1's...right? Easy squeezy! Well, I had to double check his #s as he went, cuz this whole concept was clearly too difficult for him.

3) The creme de la creme of this happy go-lucky trip to the bank is really mind boggling. I ask that you sit down, take a breath and prepare for what will no doubt leave you a bit faint. As he was pulling out rolls of coins for my change order, he had to pause and ask the teller next to him, "HOW MANY IN A ROLL OF DIMES?" I could not believe my eyes and ears. What person, even a regular everyday civilian--not to mention someone working in a BANK--doesn't know how much is in a roll of coins? Then...THEN...he had to ask the same question about a roll of pennies.

STOP.

How on God's green earth did this guy get a job @ a bank; let alone ANYWHERE in an economy such as this? I am absolutely floored by this experience, and am considering talking to the bank manager. It's not as if I have nothing better to do than to tattle on some teller, but MY GOD, how did he get this job? In the words of uber-lesbian Rachel Maddow, "I need someone to talk me down."

Do I want to return to this bank for my banking needs? No. Do I want to go back to the one a half block away. You bet your ass.

What is going on in this world?

My second (and final) gripe for today; involves the Fantastic Sam's down the way from us. The other half and I went in for our haircuts, and there was one guy ahead of us. I don't know how long he had been there, but based on his sudden outburst after a few moments of sitting next to him, it must have been a VERY LONG TIME. "F*** this...Goddammit that". He then proceeded to get up and (he didn't yell) forcefully ask the employees how soon he would be getting his haircut? Apparently, he was on his lunch (we all learned that he had an hour lunch break). The woman told him there was one person ahead of him. He flinged his magazine down and with a sarcastic "thanks alot" he huffed out the door.

My first question...do you shop at the Z in Beverly Hills? Cuz my customers sure like to disregard the old saying, "Bad planning on YOUR part, does not make an emergency on MY part". In fact, many of my customers spit on this saying, throw it in the dust, and take their manicured poodle over to do its nasty business on top of it. They just don't like this phrase.

My second question is...why don't you find a place that takes appointments? After all, you are entering a place where it is "first come, first serve" (another phrase the world doesn't understand; nor do most of my customers--nor does this guy).

These people need to be taught a lesson. I'm not talking about anything violent, but they really need to see things from someone else's perspective, or see a video of themselves in these situations. It could be quite helpful.

Anyway, I feel better having relieved myself of these painful interactions with others in the world.

So, all can proceed into a healthy and happy 2010. Neat.

I Want That 11

2010-01-02T20:39:00.003-08:00

OMG!

Okay, we've been browsing for a place...can't deal w/ that expense @ this time, but we can still browse, right?

"No thank you, we're just browsing."

Now, you know (if you've been a part of my avid readers of 0) that I've posted blogs concerning several condos here in LA...under the headline, "I Want That".

Let me just say...I HAVE FOUND THE ONE. All others that follow will have to live up to this space; all others before don't have a chance. If all went well, I'd buy this place tomorrow...LOTTERY GODS! HEAR MY PRAYER!

Anyway, the location is not too terribly far from where we are now, so it's still in Hollyweird, and we'd only be 4 blocks south of the ArcLight and Amoeba Records. NICE!

On top of that; it was originally a bungalow for writers @ Paramount. Talk about good vibes, good history and a complete lifetime supply of INSPIRATION!

This makes me think about a line from The Golden Girls. (once again, welcome to my pop culture infused brainwaves) It's the episode where a young George Clooney stars as a cop (w/ an older cop) who comes to stay w/ the girls; as a couple of jewel thieves have come to live next door to the girls...(was that long winded enough?). Anyway, Dorothy falls for the older cop; and they bicker as if they've been married for decades. As he bosses her around, and then leaves the room; Bea Arthur throws out what could only be described as HER BEST DELIVERY OF A LINE EVER! If you know this episode, you know what I'm talking about.

The line, "OH MY GOD, I'M CRAZY NUTS ABOUT THIS GUY!"

Change it up a bit, and you've got, "OH MY GOD, I'M CRAZY NUTS ABOUT THIS HOME!"

Here's a link w/ the listing and photos. Check out the architectural detail. That fireplace, the private courtyard for the complex, the ceilings, high windows, skylight! Need I go on? Check this shit out! I AM IN LOVE!

http://www.6204banner.com/

Let me explain something to you...

2009-12-27T20:30:00.002-08:00

When I say that I'm probably one of the most selfish people you've ever met, it might be a good idea to just accept that fact, as I don't have time to reassure you that I'm a good person...I've got things on my OWN plate. Sadly, I mean this in all seriousness.

If you're a customer in my store, and I know that you're a total bitch; based on watching you deal w/ other employees and then hearing their tales of your wicked bitchery...then you try to say something nasty to me; although maybe a bit in jest, don't expect me to react with a smile and bow to your fabulous sense of humor. Case in point...your late teens daughter, whom you clearly control beyond a normal mother/child relationship...when she says "Mommy, our meter is running out; we could get a ticket." Then you reply with a loud-enough-for-me-to-hear comment of "That's okay, if we get a ticket, we'll bring it back to (insert my store name here) for them to pay." Need I mention how much you've been rushing to get this transaction completed?

Let me break off here, and tell you how very much I despise those customers who park in a "valet" zone, or a "10 minute" parking spot, or are double parked out front; and then expect me to rush. What's that old saying? "bad planning on your part, does not make an emergency on mine." How many times have I wanted to say that to soooo very many of my customers. Plan better, you waste of skin!

BTW, my response to the mother...a very pointed, "No, I don't think so."

The Cleveland Show. Watched the first episode of the series. Not worth my time.

When I say I'm wearing my "Sarah Polley Pants"; it means that I have a pair of pajama pants which remind me of the pair worn by "Ana" in the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Minus the frills around the ankles, of course. It's a pair purchased and given to me by the other half. My damned "Sarah Polley Pants"!

While it may seem that the other half (that's MY other half) is the politically incorrect, Son of Satan, nasty one in our little family, let it be known that I am the horrible person behind closed doors. It's true. In all honesty, I have a VERY bad temper, and probably should seek anger management counseling. 'tis true.

Finally saw The Hangover. Not as much toilet humor as I would have expected, but definitely a treat. Bradley Cooper will have to be added to my Stew of Sin (patent pending).

Boxer Drederick Tatum of The Simpsons; is a thinly veiled version of Mike Tyson. In case you didn't know.

How completely F***ED UP is it that Time Warner Cable is planning to get rid of FOX. What planet are they living on? I hate shit like this, just serves to make me more bitter.

The other half and I spent a couple of days in Vegas last week; just for a mini-vacation. Good times. Then, this last week, we spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day in Rincon. It's a bit north of San Diego. We stayed at Harrah's Casino in the mountains. Free room and about 200 bucks in food credits. We gorged ourselves. It was sweet. We also had free room @ Caesar's Palace in Vegas. My home away from home.

I used to be in the habit of sending out form letters for the holidays, but haven't done it in about 3 (maybe 4) years. Just haven't had the motivation.

Let me break off here and state how much of a lazy loser I am.

However, this year, upon our arrival home from Rincon, I drafted a quick letter, sent it to most everyone in my email address book, and have to get on the ball to send it via snailmail to those who don't have access to the interwebs...and voila! I've gotten back on track. Anyway, so here's the letter. I'm posting it here, so you can amuse yourselves w/ it's childlike scratchings.

"An Emotional 2009 Year in Review…
(in no particular order)

5 things that made me laugh
1) Those hysterical ads from ALLY Bank. Y’know the ones…the kid with the red truck, the two girls w/ the pony, the girl w/ the bicycle…BRILLIANT!
2) Big Bother online—a very funny web-series I was a part of last year (www.bigbothershow.com) was launched in June!
3) Cougar Town on ABC
4) Receiving an autographed headshot in the mail from Lee Majors (The Six Million Dollar Man, y’all!) after I requested it from his wife!
5) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
5 things that made me sad
1) Michael Jackson’s death
2) Farrah Fawcett’s death
3) Bea Arthur’s death
4) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
5) Not getting back home since 2007
5 things that made me afraid
1) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
2) Viewing Paranormal Activity
3) Turning 35 years old
4) The zombie living on the third floor of our parking structure
5) My uncertainty of a clear path forward (welcome to life, right?)
5 things that made me mad
1) The never ending parade of nasty customers finding their way through the doors of my store
2) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
3) Not getting more of my 2009 New Year’s resolutions moved to the “completed” column
4) My demotion at work (but was later (re) promoted to the same position—so it’s all good)
5) My need for anger management classes ;)
5 things that made me glad
1) Finished a 4th draft of my second feature screenplay
2) Launched my new (still under construction) website: www.notmymess.com
3) Celebrating 10 years with the other half during an awesome stay in Sin City
4) Spent a day at Disneyland (my second time) for the other half’s birthday
5) Mom’s moving to Rapid City in February 2010!
5 things that made me horny
1) Chris Pine as “James T. Kirk” in the new Star Trek
2) The new The Wizard of Oz slot machines in Caesar’s Palace
3) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
4) That hot, tattooed blonde dude—often to be found in Runyon Canyon
5) Getting up close and personal with David Beckham’s wax figure at Madame Tussaud’s
5 things that made me grateful
1) Seeing Simon Baker in person for a thorough Q&A at the SAG Center (via the goodness of friend Justin)
2) Meeting the one and only Bob Barker
3) Having a fantabulous Turkey Day hosted by Maggie and Hamish (with a wonderfully eclectic group of folks)
4) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
5) Our discovery of hiking fun…just outside our door
5 things that made me tired
1) Sarah Palin’s everlasting 15 minutes
2) Reaching a one year anniversary in my retail gig
3) Celebrating 10 years with the other half
4) Our 18 hour AWESOME trip to Vegas with friend Chris; complete w/ 4 hours of sleep
5) News coverage of all things stupid and inconsequential (Bubble Boy, anyone?)

So folks…that was our 2009. The other half and I hope you had a great year as well; complete with all the ups and downs (mostly ups) that life is able to throw your way (and that we’re experiencing at the same time as you). We are loving our new (a year and a half!) location here in LA, and believe this will be our final resting place…so to speak.

Happy belated holidays! Happy forthcoming New Year!"

That's the letter. You're welcome.

My new website has been up for a month now. Still working on it. Why haven't you checked it out yet, you lazy bastard? It's @ www.notmymess.com

Yeah?

My New Year's resolutions have yet to be finalized...not sure why, since most of them are the same ones from the past 2 years. Jesus.

I'm itching for some change. In what part of my life? In what form? Hell if I know...need something to shake it all up for a bit...but in a good way; not in the "we're homeless in Phoenix and broke in LA" way from almost 2 years ago. No, not in that way.

Oh, and lady without her glasses; asking me for prices on EVERY SINGLE ITEM in the store...here's a tip...if you don't want me to beat you senseless, as you force me to face my BIGGEST PET PEEVE in my customer service experience...I suggest you drag your fat, lazy ass back to your car to fetch your spectacles. Otherwise...oh nothing...that's just my fist at the ready. If you know you have your glasses in your car (probably in the parking garage a whopping two doors down), then GO GET THEM!

We're going hiking in the morning...IF IT KILLS ME; and it very well may. Do I care? No, not really.

What bad mood?

What foul mood?

What bitchiness?

I hope my DM doesn't read this, cuz then there would be NO WAY on earth that he'd consider me for a promotion. Do I care? No, not really.

BTW, as I was reading this blog back to the other half (as I usually do--helps him fall asleep), he suggested I don't mention my store name. Does it really matter? Probably not...since I've already done it...Do I care? No, not really.

Please note, I did remove the store name. Hmmm.

I expect this year to be full of NOTHING but completed projects. Who is with me???

"What's a Can-dull-uh-bruh?"

2009-12-06T22:14:00.004-08:00

Watched a few moments of a program on The Travel Channel tonight...about Mt. Rushmore and the Black Hills. We'd seen it before, so we shut it off early...

Man oh man, I miss my home. I'm happy being in a more urban area, but I need to get some time in, in the Hills. Seeing those images makes me homesick. Our last trip out there (over 2 years ago) is just too damn long ago. I miss my family. I miss the smell. I miss driving up on 385 past Pactola. Mmmm.

Alas.

Strap yourselves in, cuz I think this is gonna be one of those epic updates...certainly since I hardly ever blog anymore. A lost art form.

My day job is going well. I think it's strange how bipolar I've become, with regard to this position. My last two days have been wonderful. I'm happy there, and no customers are pissing me off. Could it be that I'm happier when I'm bringing in more money; making better sales? Cuz that's what's changed. I've had a couple of crappy sales weeks, and now things are looking up. That's not a jinx. I don't see anything of my sales, but I guess working hard and doing well is inherent within me, even if it's not necessarily appreciated, or if it results in no reward for me. I like to do well...period. The holidays are fast approaching, which certainly keeps us moving at the store. That keeps the insanity at bay.

On a related note, a suggestion to one of my customers. When you call in to ask about a possible exchange, it isn't necessary for you to explain the entire process of how/when/where/why you purchased the item you now feel must be exchanged. Please. Please. Please cut to the point. I'm busy, and in essence, your tale of woe doesn't do anything to help me help you. And you calling back three times in one evening to confirm what I've already told you will have to happen, doesn't get you on my good side. It seems you're lonely, and would just like someone to talk to. Sorry, but can't help you there. Bring in the exchange (without it becoming a tale of how you have to hire someone to do this for you cuz you can't leave your house, cuz you have problems w/ crowds...or whatever). Make note of these ideas, and have a happy holiday season.

The Amazing Race ended it's latest season this evening. I wanted the hot gay brothers to win, and more than I thought; Ericka and Brian to come out on top too. Meghan and Cheyne won so many legs on this one, they kind of deserved to take home the top prize. Kudos to all for a fun, aggravating, skin-filled, tense and touching season. "Can-dull-uh-bruhs", anyone?

It's not that late, but I'm pooped. Must carry on. Go on without me, if need be.

I've officially launched the Not My Mess website. It's got a lot of work ahead of it, but you can check out what's there so far. I'm happy w/ it, but would love some solid feedback; if my avid readers of 0 would be so kind. www.notmymess.com

Along w/ the website, I'm working on a campaign called, "Do You Know Simon Baker?" More on that later, as it gets moving.

Speaking of Simon Baker, my new buddy Caryl (whom I met @ the Simon Baker Q&A) has been in touch w/ me. I sent her a copy of the synopsis for the Baker script, and she provided some lovely feedback. Is it tacky for me to share? Probably, but it makes me feel good, so I'll pass it along. "I truly enjoyed following the story, even with so little detail - so I bet the script is wonderful." She goes on to say that she will have to give some thought on how to get it into the right hands.

Now...this woman doesn't know me from Adam (he's a great guy, btw.), but she's kept in touch w/ me, and actually seems to want to help. Could it be? Here I go doubting myself again...but...I guess that's just me. Change? Who knows. Anyway, Godspeed, good Caryl...Godspeed!

BTW, I found out who her producer brother was. He apparently has produced the majority of the Farrelly brothers films; i.e. Shallow Hal, Dumb and Dumber, Stuck on You...etc. Keep your fingers crossed, but I won't count my chickens before they've hatched. Did I jinx it by simply letting it out of the hat? No. I refuse to believe that! Nifty.

I'm a bit heart-burny.

I don't work 'til 1pm tomorrow; then I have Tuesday off. I'm so excited for that!

I TOTALLY need to catch up on my "Local Actors Spotted" blog. So very behind. So many celebs. Lord.

I feel anti-social...like the day job has been overtaking my life. So many folks I haven't seen in a long time.

They've been working away on the apartment next door. I'm hoping we can get in on it in the next couple of months, and then finally FINALLY get our stuff from storage.

I thought I had more to say, but apparently not...how loser-ly of me.

Oh, my mother has put in an offer on a new house in Rapid City. Apparently, it all looks pretty good, so I'm really keeping my fingers crossed for her. It will bring her closer to family, get her away from the home she's in now (w/ so many memories--it's time for her to shake things up a bit), and the weather can be a little (just a little) more forgiving than in Lead/Deadwood. I hope it all works out, and I'll keep y'all posted. This news actually does sadden me a bit. With her not in our home, we'll have no reason to visit the old neighborhood. I'm sure we will anyway, but it'll basically just be a drive-by (minus the guns). Feels a little weird, honestly.

In other family news, my youngest brother is on the verge of completing his first semester @ BHSU. Kudos to him on a fabulous term!

Also, I had a strange dream last night. I was touching someone's head in my dream, and I sort of woke up when the other half was pushing my hands away from his head. Weird. I do a bit of that "sleep-walking/sleep-moving" from time to time. It's been a spell. I guess I was due.

I guess I should turn in. Thanks for tuning in for another boring update on my life. If this didn't put you to sleep...then your skin's on too tight. No one will get that.

G'night!

My Evening with Simon Baker

2009-12-01T09:48:00.003-08:00

Friend Justin (who is SAG), received word that the SAG Foundation was having a new guest in their "Conversations" series; down on Wilshire. He called me on Friday to see if I wanted to go as his guest. However, I had to finagle some changes in my work schedule to make it happen. So I called him Sunday to let him know it was a go. He already had other plans, before he called me initially. So, he was willing to come to the event, get me in, and then be on his way. The event? A showing of an episode of The Mentalist...followed by an hour and a half Q&A w/ none other than Simon Baker.

For those not in the know, the script I've been working on for the past two years (and am currently past a fourth draft) is called "Me & Simon Baker".

So, in my usual naive fashion, I spent yesterday morning reading through my fourth draft, confirming it was good for Simon's eyes, got a nice copy from the good folks @ Davco (on Sunset/Highland--where I go for all of my copying needs), and packed it into my satchel for the evening. Now, I know I'm prone to wishing too hard for a break and an opportunity, almost to the point of leaving reality behind, and this was certainly no exception. I felt stupid, but decided to be prepared; in case things took a wonderful, unexpected turn.

In my mind, I was hoping that Simon's wife (actress Rebecca Rigg--from one of my all time favorite films Fortress--not the one w/ Christopher Lambert) might be in attendance. Two reasons...clearly she would be more approachable, as she's not as well known as her husband, and also, I've written a part for her in the script. If she liked it, she might pass it along to her husband...say after dinner @ their home. ;)

Again, I know how ridiculous I'm being, but I always have in the back of my head, "Why couldn't it happen this way?" Right?

Anyway, I arrived @ the location, spoke w/ friend Justin for a matter of seconds, and then took his spot in line; as he made a hasty retreat. He suggested that I pass myself off as him, in order to get in. It is a SAG event folks, and I was only a guest. Well, the woman came down the line and said to have your SAG cards ready. Okay. I was wondering if I should have slinked away, but I was bold beyond my usual "let's not rock the boat" attitude. I got to the front of the line, told the woman that I was on the waiting list, but that my friend had to run out for an emergency (which he didn't of course). There was Justin's name on the list, and below that, "Justin M.--Guest". She was fine giving me a ticket for the waiting list; so I took my spot...#5. A matter of seconds later, the regular line was thinning out, and a woman asked me if I wanted to come in as her guest, as her guest had cancelled. Of course, I took her up on it, and we had a great chat about everything from The Amazing Race, to me giving a brief pitch about my script.

Caryl is an actress (mainly theatre) and was a very sweet Suzanne Pleshette look-a-like. We sat next to one another for the event.

It was a surpisingly intimate space, and I was a mere 20 feet from the front.

They showed one episode of The Mentalist, and it was actually quite good. I doubt it'll be taking up residence in our DVR, but it was nice to see Simon @ his best.

The showing was followed by the Q&A w/ Simon.

First things first. He's as adorable in person as he is on screen. He was wearing a pair of glasses that made him look even more dashing.

I'll cut to the chase here. I didn't get to meet him. His wife wasn't in attendance. I didn't get to pitch my script to them, and certainly didn't get to pass on my newly printed script either.

However, the evening was an amazing one. Simon's a very deep guy, and although my script's version of him is just that...a character, I have some things to mull over while digging into my 5th draft. In addition to fiddling a bit w/ his character, I got a great line from him that will certainly find a place in the ending of my piece.

He's very passionate about acting, and one of his anecdotes (his audition for LA Confidential) brought him (and me) to near tears. He talked about how he wandered outside the Warner Bros. lot; an hour before his audition...wondering what the hell he was doing, second guessing himself, putting himself down, and basically just undermining his talents. I started to tear up, as those thoughts could have come from my very own brain. How often do I wonder what I'm doing, and question myself at every turn. It was a nice connection for me...

I'm sure everyone else in the room felt the same connection to this tale; as I did...but it was special to me nonetheless.

The other quote I took away from the Q&A was, "Opportunity knocks once, then it moves on." It also struck a chord w/ me, as I was mere moments from running away, the moment it looked like things might be difficult getting into the event.

It may be stupid (it IS stupid--there's that self doubt), but I was proud of myself for going, for staying and for taking away as much as I did.

Justin had told me that a prior "Conversations" event; w/ Greg Kinnear, found an attendee blatantly asking Greg during the Q&A how he would get a copy of a script to him; as it had been WRITTEN for him. Apparently Greg said to just pass it off to him @ the end of the event. Of course, this was going through my brain all day long. Again, I was naive but hopeful. Anyway, questions were to be submitted via note cards, so there was no opportunity (knocks once, then moves on) for me to get a word in.

On the way to the event, as I sat on the bus listening to Lady Gaga, I thought about the scene in Defending Your Life. It's the scene where Albert Brooks has to get up in front a crowd and publically speak for the first time. He got out there, stood in a silent stupor...and was then saved by a fire alarm. The room of people in front of him cleared out. He never tried it again. He was going to do it, but let the opportunity pass him by. I was thinking about my chance to ask the question of Simon (the Greg Kinnear question); regardless of how crazy or ridiculous I would have looked. I felt comfortable in the space, and I had a newfound friend in Caryl. I think that if the moment would have arisen, I would have asked the tacky question, "How can I get a script to you; that has been written for you specifically?"

Simon had an early call this morning, so he did not stick around for autographs or a meet and greet. For a moment it looked like he was going to, and I made my way up to the front. But just as I got in line, he was whisked away.

I called Justin and thanked him for all he had done to get me into the event. I believe it was an invaluable evening.

BTW, Caryl gave me her card, and I will be forwarding a synopsis of the Baker script. She told me that her brother is a producer, and she'd be happy to forward my info to him. Nice. Real nice.

What a special evening...

Finally, I had an inspiration on the bus ride home (all worked out so well; even down to the fact that I caught the bus on the way home--no delay--showed up to the bus stop when I did).

Anyway...the other half and I have lately been watching a great deal of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America. His quirky, fun promotions to get the pubs and restuarants packed for their grand re-opening are quite inspirational. I'm reminded of his promotion "Campaign for Real Gravy" in an older episode. I was wondering if there would be a way to start up a campaign along the lines of "DO YOU KNOW SIMON BAKER?" Who knows him? Who can get me in touch w/ him? Who can get past the red tape of the Hollywood machine? How can I get my script into his hands via fringe methods?

Whether or not I follow through on something like this, remains to be seen. But it is on the back burner of my brain for a possible scheme down the road.

There's a motif in the Baker script which perfectly fits last night's events. As my character Michael finds his way into Simon's life, and becomes closer to him as the scripts events unfold--there is a visual of a mall map/directory. One of the large anchor stores is called "Simon's Arms". The "you are here" notation gets closer and closer to the store; as the story goes on. I feel like last night got the real Michael much closer to the real Simon (even though I didn't meet Simon) and it was all a step up, a move ahead and a rousing success.

Look what I received in the mail today...

2009-11-17T18:36:00.002-08:00

Super! What a great mail day!

Stew of Sin Special Edition

2009-11-09T17:16:00.003-08:00

Prince Harry is SOOOO already in my stew, but I found this picture earlier today. Had to post it. He is just SOOOO fine! Abs in action!

Stew of Sin #124 & 125

2009-11-05T08:47:00.004-08:00

It's a special Cougartown edition. I have gotten quite hooked on this show, and it's due in no small part to the hotness of the parade of men going in and out of Jules (Courtney Cox) life.

First up is her recently divorced across-the-street neighbor, Grayson (Josh Hopkins). Last night's episode had a dream sequence in which this hottie appears shirtless. Nummy is the only word to describe him. Just delicious. Difficult to top? Sure is, but Brian Van Holt manages to do just that. As Jules ex-husband Bobby, he manages to be a total manchild and fun dad, a true sweetheart, and an absolute dish. This guy makes my butter melt.

Concerns about the Living Dead #45

2009-11-04T19:15:00.005-08:00

This is a photo from Romero's Dawn of the Dead (1978). Here's the setup: Flyboy is in the elevator when the power goes out. He has been shot, and must climb through the trapdoor in the ceiling of the elevator. Suddenly, the door opens, and this is the image you see.

For YEARS after first seeing this, I had a high anxiety reaction in most elevators. The one I recall the most, was in my local hospital (for those from Lead/Deadwood, you know the one--next to the optometrist and pharmacy). I recall having actual mini-panic attacks while travelling from the 1st to the 2nd floor, or vise versa. The anticipation of the doors opening was almost too much for me. This is the image I would always expect to see upon arrival to the destination floor.

Is it any wonder I'm so messed up, if this was the kind of crap that went through my head as a preteen? Then again, being obsessed w/ zombies probably allowed me to control my erections in gym class as I was trying to figure out why I liked boys so much! ;) So, thank goodness for zombies and the mortal fear they instilled.

Thanks Mr. Romero, for not letting me get beat up as an up-n-coming Flyboy--er, gay boy.

Stew of Sin # 122 & 123

2009-11-04T17:09:00.005-08:00

In honor of the new V television series, I am making immediate room for two of its hottest actors.

Of course I'm adding Morena Baccarin (the supreme leader; Anna). Since she's actually a lizard, I won't worry that she's another female being added to my stew. Great performance on last night's premiere; and I can only hope her character's evil will continue to manifest itself. It only serves to turn me on further.

And I'd not be able to sleep at night if I didn't add Joel Gretsch; aka Father Landry. I'd insert a truly tasteless line about how I would love to dress as an altar boy if he was the one doing the molesting, but again, that would be in poor taste...considering all of the folks who have suffered at the hands of such evil. In or out of cleric's clothing, he's a worthy addition to my sinful water party.

I Want That 10

2009-11-04T16:29:00.002-08:00

The latest LA condo that the other half has located; and I am now drooling over. It's just off of La Cienega. Lovely finishes. Great space. Cool details.

Here's the link...

http://www.westknollcondo.com/

Concerns about the Living Dead #44

2009-10-31T15:56:00.003-07:00

George A. Romero was on NPR's "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me." this morning. Of course, I was working while it aired...however, it is available via the internets.

Here's a link.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114303424

And, I got my big Halloween scare in a roundabout way; via this appearance on NPR.

The other half called me at work today. Generally, it is if he found some good deals on clothing while out and about on a Saturday; or if he is the first one to hear big news...i.e. some celebrity has died.

So, this is how it goes.

Co-worker: "Elwood's on the phone for you."
Me (picking up the phone): "Thanks for holding, this is Michael, may I help you?"

STOP

Yes, even if I know it's Elwood, I'll still answer that way. You never know if a co-worker could have been mistaken, or if I picked up the wrong line.

Anyway...

Elwood: "George Romero--"

STOP

So, based on past phone calls reporting celebrity deaths, my heart stopped for a moment. Can you imagine my brain trying to wrap itself around this; if indeed it had been what I thought?

At any rate, he was just calling to let me know that George was on NPR.

How's that for a roundabout, boring tale?

Anyway, George is fine, and he did quite well on "Wait, Wait..."

Check it out.

That is all.

Local Actors Spotted #138-143

2009-10-25T17:29:00.003-07:00

I'm WAAAAY behind on these, so I'll try to remember all of the sightings of late.

Yesterday, two-time Oscar winner and star of Jaws: The Revenge was in my store; SIR Michael Caine. Before I got the chance to chat w/ him; he was on his way out of the store. It didn't dawn on me to discuss one of my all time fave movies w/ him (the brilliantly hysterical Noises Off)...this always seems an easier way to approach some of these celebs; if I've got some "connection" w/ them. Ah, well.

I'll count the other half's sighting and short chat with Sean Penn as one...even though I wasn't there. :(

Janice Dickinson's former partner and former star on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency; Peter Hamm was spotted on our hike (some time ago; since we've been horrible slackers as of late).

As you all probably know from my frequent Facebook updates, The Six Million Dollar Man himself; Lee Majors aka Steve Austin, was in the store last week. He was awesome; his wife was super sweet, and they promised me an autographed photo...soon to be found in my mailbox. Sweet!

Robert Culp walked past us on one of our trips up to Runyon. Former star of I-Spy and The Greatest American Hero; my biggest recollection of him; comes from the episode of The Golden Girls in which Blanche gets a pacemaker. That's just the way my brain works, folks.

I don't believe I've notated the sighting of MAD TV alum (and Stew of Sin inductee) Ike Barinholtz. Saw him at the end of one of our hikes (several months ago).

I know there must be others, but I'm having non-total recall. That works. If I think of the others, I'll be sure to let you know.

"Lady, you're dyin'..."

2009-10-17T21:06:00.003-07:00

Or at least she will be, if she doesn't knock off the bitch behavior.

Woman was in today. I don't generally judge (a flat-out lie), but this woman looked to be in her fifties; and was in the family way. Clearly she waited too long to breed, and now her Depend-using/elderly woman bladder was mixing it up w/ her over-active/pregnancy bladder, and she probably has to pee every 20 minutes or so. Really not my problem. Now, let it be known that we don't have a public restroom. We just don't. Get over it. Go next door to Starbucks and use theirs. WE DON'T HAVE ONE. More on Starbucks later...

Here's the conversation...

Pregnant Senior Citizen: "What's the difference between (insert whatever items she was shopping for here)."

Me: "(insert explanation here)."

Pregnant Senior Citizen: "Do you have a restroom?"

Me: "No, I'm sorry we don't. But there is one next door at Starbucks."

Pregnant Senior Citizen frowns through her Melanie Griffith/messed up plastic surgery/Beverly Hills spoiled housewife lips.

Pregnant Senior Citizen: "Well, then I'm done. I'll just buy these and leave."

The Adrienne Barbeau wannabe pays for her items.

Pregnant Senior Citizen (w/ full "snoot" intact): "Y'know, people would probably shop longer if you had a restroom."

STOP!

How the hell am I to respond to something like that? Here are some options...

"Lady, you are the one who chose to have a child during your golden years...therefore any bladder issues that accompany this choice of yours, are your problem. Lots of businesses don't have public restrooms. Which is fine by me, cuz the general public are snot-encrusted, self-important jackasses. Are you one?"

or

"Why the hell would you choose to shop somewhere (or how long you'd choose to stay shopping on one of your spoiled-ass splurges) based on their lack of public facilities? Who the hell are you?"

or

A just plain, "What the hell are you talking about?"

That was the one that went through my head. This is one of the most idiotic exchanges I've ever had the displeasure of being a part of.

Go on lady. Take your entitled BS somewhere else...perhaps where they have a public restroom (which is not a requirement anyway).

Okay, Starbucks; or story # 2.

We have one of these businesses right next door to our store. We have a staff of about 10 folks, and we all go there for various reasons...quite regularly, I might add. Snacks, lunches and the ever-needed coffee fixes (not me--I don't drink coffee). In addition, we are known to go next door to just get ice waters throughout the day. Our store has to be one of the dryest on this planet of ours; and so dehydration seems to always be lurking about; waiting to "take the first man who screams" (thanks Aunty Entity--if you don't get that reference, let me know). We're thirsty dammit! Well, friend/co-worker Wendy went next door on truck day (always a tough day for us) this past week, and the manager @ Starbucks asked her, "can't your manager afford water?" (I'm not sure on the exact exchange/quotes, but this is the jist) Wendy replied, "What?" SBucks manager says, "Aren't you one of the managers? Can't you afford to get your people water?"

Well, I heard about this a day later; and am now debating whether I boycott Starbucks in general, or just this particularly ignorant location. This really pissed me off, and I am also wondering if I should write a letter to someone. ????

Anyway, I won't be returning there, and am trying to convince my co-workers and staff to do the same. The amount of business we give them is nothing to sneeze at...not to mention that merchants who are also neighbors should really support each other. Finally, we're sending all of the need-to-pee ladies and gents next door. I can't imagine they're not grabbing something to drink or snack on as they leave behind their waste in the bathroom. I know that's stretching it, but damn...this whole thing was just a kick in the balls. Screw you SBucks...

My final tale of interest.

On our shopping excursion to Target yesterday, we were checked out by a young man wearing a shirt with writing in Spanish (I don't need the lecture on the fact that I don't read or speak this language). The other half turned to me, and said that he would have to talk to a manager. He asked me if I could figure out why. I looked more closely @ the t-shirt. I saw the name "Jesus". Was that the guy's name? Nope. The other half explained that the shirt read something like, "Jesus is my Lord and Saviour".

STOP!

Is this appropriate? I don't think so...and even as offensive and nasty as the other half can be at times, he took offense to this t-shirt. So he talked to a manager. The manager explained that as long as they wear a red shirt, it doesn't matter what is written (excluding profanity--of course). The other half then asked her, "so I could wear a shirt stating that 'Satan is my Lord and Saviour'?" The manager laughed and pulled up on her necklace chain...@ the bottom of it was a charm...a charm in the shape of an UPSIDE-DOWN CROSS.

And that, my friends...concludes the best three anecdotes I can share w/ you from my life over the past week or so.

That is all.

This Is a Doozie!

2009-10-13T23:17:00.002-07:00

Picture this. 4 employees. A home furnishings and accessories store. 2 of the employees are helping 2 customers. The other 2 are standing about; waiting for something to happen. No one else is in the store. Suddenly, a honking just outside the store. A traffic jam? A car accident? A pedestrian crossing @ the wrong time? Surely w/ the non-stop beeping from some car on the outside, it must be a major event. Finally, after 30 seconds of this nonsense, one of the available employees makes his way to the front door. A woman is leaning out of her large white SUV. Why, it's the vehicle that has been honking! Why is she honking so much, so long, so loud?

The stupid bitch is honking to get the attention of us w/in the store; to set about searching for her daughter who may or may not be inside our shop. ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?! A quick search reveals that this "daughter" is not to be found within.

I have never witnessed such an amazing, disgusting display of laziness; and I've looked at myself in the mirror! What is going on w/ this world?!

Thought I'd share, cuz it pissed me off.

What's that? You want me to...

Oh, yes--my mistake. I'll make an additional notch; confirming the pending extinction of our sad species. What a useless bitch!

I Am In Heaven

2009-10-09T22:03:00.001-07:00

How absolutely fabulous is this? It's for true as well. Genius.

Get Off My Chest!

2009-10-05T18:37:00.003-07:00

I feel like bitching. About a great many things (thank you Palpatine). Let's dish.

Go ahead and judge me. I have been a fan of The View for awhile, but lately...it's kinda pissing me off! Barbara Walters has always been a bit irritating...but could still be endearing @ moments, and even funny (even rarer moments), but her behavior on The View this season has been abhorrent. I absolutely LOVE watching Whoopi make faces as Barbara CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTS...all guests, all co-hosts...EVERYONE. She simply won't shut up, won't let anyone have their say and doesn't apologize for her rudeness. Shut the hell up, WAWA! I think my love affair w/ The View is nearing an end.

Speaking of never shutting up...never mind--a story for another time perhaps.

The other half and I went to the dual ATM's down the street the other night. The machine we chose was not allowing us to make a deposit, so we stepped away, and waited behind the guy using the other one. We had a very respectable distance; as we always do. The guy kept looking behind him; checking us out. He then asked us, "Are we waiting for something?" The other half replied w/ "yes, the ATM." The man then replied that he was worried; cuz he had seen people trying to get codes or other secure info. WTF!? This whole incident severely angered me. Who the f*** do you think you are? It's not as if we were standing over him. Go to hell...you stupid, paranoid mother-f***er!

Go to hell, Kate and Jon Gosselin. I can't stand to hear anymore about you idiot breeders. PLEASE GO AWAY!

I'm in a VERY IRRITABLE MOOD right now.

Can't you tell?

I'm unhappy that Chicago lost the Olympics. What makes me more angry than that? I saw some video this evening on The Rachel Maddow Show; a bunch of right wing morons cheering over the news that we lost the Olympic bid. You effing traitors! You can go to hell as well.

Who else do I feel like cursing?

I had my one year anniversary @ my job last Thursday. That's not a gripe. Or is it?

The other half received his first certification; by passing his first exam w/ flying colors this last Friday. Congrats, my boy!

We've been hiking only sporadically. I feel lame, but what else is new?

Barely any work on any writing projects. I feel lame, but what else is new?

No word (and it's been almost two months since I sent my script out to that agency). Their initial letter said I would hear something w/in 1 to 2 weeks. Not doing much to up my esteem. I feel lame, but what else is new?

I'm in a bad mood.

I'm in a bad mood.

Been working on my website. It's coming along admirably. Does anyone care? I don't right now.

Let me go off and eat myself into a bloated slumber.

Had an absolutely WONDERFUL day w/ Libby. Chatting, dishing and working. We then ran into LA's newest residents (strictly accidental--what a small world indeed!) friends Karyn and Mike. Wonderful day...so why am I in such a bad mood now? Anyone? Anyone?

To the customers @ my store who feel the need to lay on our back door buzzer multiple times (for picking up larger items), when we clearly have a sign reading "ring buzzer only once", please go to hell. We don't have someone manning the back door at all times. Does that compute? All of you nasty customers...GO TO HELL. To my regulars and the good ones...you better try to stay on my good side. :)

I feel like I had other fun anecdotes to entertain you; but nothing else is coming up. So go away...for now.

This entry absolutely sucks. That is all.

OMG.

2009-09-26T22:13:00.002-07:00

I remember seeing something about this...oh, about a year ago; if not longer. We had a chance to see a screening (I believe the one they're showing in the trailer...dammit!), but for some reason, we didn't go. What was the reason, other half? Oh, he's out of it...watching Futurama or something.

Anyway, enjoy this trailer. It looks pretty sweet. I got goosebumps. This is different from the trailer I believe I posted some time ago. Enjoy.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/buzz-log-paranormal-activity.html

"Last night, I dreamed I held you in my arms..."

2009-09-13T20:09:00.003-07:00

Do you know this quote? Even if you do, this is its origin.

Since last night, I've been trying to find this quote in my pop culture-infused brain. It seemed ideal for my state of mind...and until 5 minutes ago, it eluded me.

It's from The Simpsons; the classic episode in which Bart buys Radioactive Man #1 with Milhouse and my beloved Martin; and chaos ensues.

I had the inkling of this quote as I looked through my mail; upon arriving home. I had a notice from the post office, that they tried to deliver a LARGE ENVELOPE; CERTIFIED MAIL.

The note said it was from "WME2". Well, I recognized those letters; in that order--and confirmed it online. It's from William Morris Endeavor. "WME2" is their logo/abbreviation. Needless to say, I was a little excited. For those that don't know, William Morris is one of the end-all/be-all agencies in the biz...or so I'm told. What the hell do I know?

Well, my first thought is...would they send a rejection letter; certified mail in a large envelope; especially since I had provided the necessary SASE? Would they?

My second (highly irrational) thought was that they represent Simon Baker (one of the main characters in my script; which the query letters were marketing), and were sending some "cease and desist" letter; i.e. "stop writing about our client without his permission or we'll take legal action". That train of thought then lead to; "Well, wouldn't a letter like that come from an actual law office, then?" Lord.

So, I set about to call some friends; for two reasons...to ask legitimately if they knew what this meant, and also to have them push me into my immediate rationalization that this was A BIG DEAL.

Friend Michael let me know; after our initial conversation, that he checked on this online. Apparently, to keep themselves protected in plagiarism scenarios, some agencies send certified rejection letters. Okay, that brought me back down to earth a bit.

The other realistic info came from friend Justin. He had apparently received rejection letters; which had been certified and "pretty". In his situation; he couldn't understand why they took the time and expense. Okay.

Today, friend James suggested, "a paid rejection letter?" Still some hope?

So, while I hope it could be something AWESOME, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that it's a rejection letter...albeit in sugar-coated packaging. A frame-able piece! :)

In a matter of 12 hours; as I make my way to the Wilcox Post Office, the tale will be told.

My last bit of hope that it could be something more than a rejection; is the fact that it's marked as "large envelope". A rejection letter is only one page. Would a letter with bad news be flat/unfolded and in a big old manila envelope? I don't know.

So, we come back to my quote from The Simpsons. For a few fleeting moments, before dream-killing reality set in..."Last night, I dreamed I held you (a script request) in my arms..."

More on this tomorrow.

That is all.

That One's My Favorite--Slaughter High

2009-09-10T10:04:00.003-07:00

This is a brand new series I'm throwing into my blogging mix. It joins the much beloved "Stew of Sin" series, the "Concerns about the Living Dead" entries, and the "I Want That" set; still in its infancy.

I'm going to post a trailer (assuming I can find all of them); for all of my favorite movies. I figured I'd start w/ Slaughter High...well, cuz why not? It's a doozie of a movie. Horrible acting, bad dialogue, plentiful (and awful) nudity, cheap effects and one hell of a good chase scene. It was originally called April Fool's Day, but that pretty darn decent Fred Walton movie beat it to the punch. Thus the classy Slaughter High was taken instead. You'll recognize no one; except for the lead actress--former Bond girl, Caroline Munro. Oh, and you'll recognize the score; as it comes from Friday the 13th composer; Harry Manfredini...and sounds nice and similar (i.e. EXACTLY LIKE) the music from your fave Friday the 13th howler.

I will also attempt to give some details on my viewings of these films in each entry. How's that?

I first saw Slaughter High with my friend Mike; during a sleepover. It was during my horror hey-day; where I would see anything and everything that came my way; as far as horror films. I liked it, but didn't LOVE it. The next morning, horror nerd friend, Eric called me. "Had I seen it? Did I LOVE it?" Well, since I was so squishy with opinions when I was a pre-teen, we quickly made it one of our tops. Since then, I've seen it well over a hundred times (I think I'm being quite restrained in that figure--I actually have no clue). I currently only have the film recorded from HBO on a quickly deteriorating VHS tape. Although, I do believe I did transfer it to DVD. However, I learned from friend Eric; that it was recently released on DVD (hopefully w/ lots of extras)...but I have yet to spot it; order it...or sadly; afford it.

Here's how it will work. I'm stealing from my now-defunct "klugula.com" website. I had three categories for my favorite movies. All of my choices and the categories they end up in; are up for debate (which I welcome), but for now...this is how it will go.

Category One--My Fave Movies. These are the movies which I absolutely adore, and which would be considered "legitimately quality films". Big budgets, Oscar winners, studio films, good production values...etc.

Category Two--My Fave Stinkers. These are the movies which I absolutely adore, and which would be considered "total crap". I know they're awful, but I can't help loving them. They're cheap, have bad acting and were probably critical and box office bombs; if they weren't already direct-to-video pathetics.

Category Three--My Fave Diamonds. Called that; cuz they are what I consider "Diamonds in the Rough". A few prerequisites to attain this status. You've never heard of it. You've heard of it--maybe even seen it--but have less than fond memories of it. I say it deserves a second chance. Finally, a movie you may have heard of (but all bad reviews), but in which I found something worthwhile. I'm saying "Give it a shot!"

Finally, the title of this new blog series comes from a young girl I once heard at a 4th of July fireworks event; many years ago. Every single flash in the sky ended with her saying, "That one's my favorite". While I shunned her at the time, wondering how EVERY SINGLE ONE could possibly be her "favorite", I now see that it is possible...even for me; at least where movies are concerned. My list is ever-expanding...including a few films I have seen only once, but which so moved me; that it simply had to be added to the list.

So, off we go. Enjoy...and I hope I inspire you to see something new.

BTW, don't blame me. If you hate my recommendations, I can't get you that time back, so what are we left with, eh? Anger? Frustration? Blame? Negativity can kill, y'know. That is all.

Too Funny

2009-09-10T09:41:00.003-07:00

Co-worker Erica pointed this out, and both the other half and I confirmed she was right. This is a print we carry @ work. Of course, now the other half and I will have to own this. Who does the tall white guy look like? Who does the shorter red guy look like? I thought so. Hysterical!

I Want That 9

2009-09-10T09:30:00.003-07:00

This is a piece we carry in our gallery area of the store. It seems a little "traditional" I guess, but there is a back story. One of my most treasured books from my childhood was The Ghost of Windy Hill. I still have it, and would probably consider it my favorite book of all time. I was always fascinated by the illustrations, and eventually, I would love to have them copied, enlarged and framed. I saw this "Lady in Blue" piece @ work, and it immediately reminded me of one of the characters in the story...both in the book's description, and in the few illustrations within the book. To me, the "Lady in Blue" IS Miss Miggie. Does anyone else remember this book? Anyway, I WANT THAT.

I Want That 8

2009-09-05T20:14:00.004-07:00

This is the Monaco sofa which we carry in our store. It came onto my radar recently, and just this last Thursday, arrived to be displayed on our floor. I fell in love with it based on an online photograph (which you're looking at). Well, I fell in LUST with it when it came in to the store on Thursday afternoon. Love it. Love it. Must have it. A real beaut in person. Come and enjoy it with me. It's not shy, and doesn't mind a bit of gawking. Plus, you can see me @ work.

Deja Vu

2009-09-05T19:19:00.002-07:00

I think I've said it before; so forgive the repetition.

Yesterday, at the store; had to be the most painful, awful 8 or so hours of my working life.

There, what do you think? Have I said that before? Yeah, you're right...I did. Well, this time, I truly mean it.

I can handle a busy day. Clearly that's the case, cuz here I am today; following yesterday's wretched sentence.

Let's forget all of my complaints about a great many things @ my job these days. I want to share with you three doozies of customer ignorance which I experienced (one second hand) while on the job.

One: I often have problems w/ breeders; or at least w/ their actions. If you are a breeder, and consider yourself a good parent, then you should have no problem with me calling attention to this self-important, clueless lack-wit who brought her useless ass into my store yesterday. She brought in her husband, and her child; who was encased in my most hated enemy; the over-sized stroller. Where did she park it? Why, in the most convenient place imaginable, of course. In the main thoroughfare of our salesfloor. First off, WTF? Well, she left hubby and child on the sofa next to said path (where the stroller was parked), and then went about to do her shopping. Friend and co-worker Wendy had to go down this path; in order to get some product into another customer's hands. At this time, the breeder mother was standing next to the stroller. Wendy politely said "excuse me" in order to get by. What does the breeder mother do? She moves her body out of the way; LEAVING THE STROLLER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PATH. Why are people so dumb, and why are parents so entitled? I am so exhausted by this behavior. How can I handle such situations in the future? I know...the next time it occurs, I will scream, "Get the F*** out of my way!" You think that will get the message across?

Two: This story is not a direct accounting of the situation, but told to me by Wendy; just a few moments after the stroller incident. Apparently an older gentleman was going to pick up his purchases in the back (these are the bags that Wendy was carrying out while simultaneously trying to avoid the fire hazard that is the breeder mother's spawn stroller). Rather than ring the bell to alert us to his presence, the customer began yelling out of his car window; as he was parked in one of our spots in the back. Our doors are closed. It's a brick building. Suffice to say that we would NEVER hear this. If it weren't for one of our business neighbors, who eventually rang our bell for the screaming customer, we never would have known he was there. I know you're old, senile and a weight on our society, but please use some common sense. I've seen some elderly folks who are smart as a whip...so what's your excuse...you moron.

Finally, to top off my already horrendous day, we received those dreaded last minute customers. Of course, we're the only store that stays open past 7pm (for a whole adt'l hour), so any wandering customers; desperate for some shopping; can always turn to us. Oh joy. Well, about 5 minutes before we are mercifully allowed to close and lock our doors, we get a gaggle of folks; who insist upon pulling lots of pillows from the walls; to start color-coordinating their designs. They finally bring their items to the register (about 8:15 by now), but do that most disgusting thing that late-comers ALWAYS do--play the game that they're ready to pay, as we begin to ring their items, and then wander off for minutes at a time...continuing their painful spree. That's pretty bad, you say? How awful, you muse? Well, it gets worse. THEIR CREDIT CARD IS REJECTED. I call to see if I can get a manual authorization. DECLINED. Okay, by this time, I'm starting to have pain in my left arm...surely the onset of a massive coronary; brought on by stress and PURE, VIOLENT ANGER which is seconds away from exploding from my fists. So, the customer gets on the phone with the credit card company; and waits for an agonizing 15 minutes before they get the go-ahead. I am inwardly asking myself, "What level of hell am I in...right now? Right @ this moment?" I couldn't answer that, as I was attending to my ailing arm; and prepping myself to dial 911. These customers (customers ANYONE would die for) finally dragged their asses from my store @ 8:40pm--4o minutes after our sign out front said we were closed.

So, while these events certainly don't make for a spoiler of a day on any other day, all of them combined; as well as a dash of my usual issues @ work, made for one major BULLS*** shift.

I've had my therapy for the day. Thanks for tuning in.

That is all.

Some Assistance, Please?

2009-08-23T19:10:00.005-07:00

Okay.

I've seen Jurassic Park at least a thousand times. Yes, that's pushing it, but I've see it A LOT. If it's on, I'll stop and take a look. I know it so well, that I don't need to see it from beginning to end; to get the gist of where I am in the story.

So here's my question.

Is there a very large error in the middle of the film? Am I the only one to have questioned this? Let's examine for a moment; the T-Rex attack. Arguably one of the most tense, exciting and scary scenes in the film. When I first saw it in the theatre (by myself; I might add), I was absolutely breathless when the scene completed. I mean, holy crap! Brilliant!

Anyway, so the two vehicles are facing the left of your screen; set up on their little "tour track". The goat is on even ground w/ them; just beyond the fence. The storm hits, the T-Rex; apparently also on even ground; just beyond that there fence...makes his way to ravage the kids, the attorney, the scientists and the poor Ford Explorers. Now, my issue here; is that once Grant and the kids go over the side; followed by the vehicle; and into the trees...there's a HUGE dropoff...just beyond the fence; say what; 20+ stories? The vehicles never move off of the "tour track" (okay, they move upside down); say to another side; where there might possibly be some large canyon...just beyond the fence...ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE. No. Did the T-Rex just climb up the side of the retaining wall? Was the goat sitting on some little island in the air; lifted up toward the heavens; from the deep canyon floor below?

I know I'm over-examining this; but I can't help but make note of it; every time I see it.

Anyone want to rationalize this for me? Finally, would the vehicles and their occupants have felt the T-Rex tremor so deeply; if it was 20 stories below?

I simply don't get this, and want someone to explain it to me.

Yes, yes...I know I'm a nerd, but I still want some answers.

That is all.

Protein

2009-08-10T18:39:00.002-07:00

I've ingested so many carbs over the past two days off, I finally broke down and forced the other half to throw some burgers on. My body was ready to shut down.

With that in mind, I am pleased to announce that I completed a third and a 3 1/2 draft of "Me & Simon Baker". I arrived home on Saturday, to find a letter from one of the many agencies I had "applied" to. THEY WANT TO READ MY SCRIPT. Frankly, I was hoping this day would come soon, but not before I had the chance to make some additional tweaks on the script, i.e complete another draft. Thus, my original plans to sit down and crank out some serious work on the Chris McCaleb co-project (my writing partner), were set aside. I spent about 8 hours; with several healthy breaks (healthy in time, not in the food I consumed) yesterday, working on a third draft of the script. No major changes were done, but I found plenty of formatting mistakes and a few foolish dialogue choices to take up my time in this draft. I found plenty more of my favorite screenwriting pet peeves. The "Character begins to do something". All of those occurrences had to be changed to "Character does something". I don't know why it is engrained in my head to make the characters "begin a task". They're hard to spot, unless you go through and look for them. How I loathe them. I completed the draft, read it through out loud; to the other half, and called it good. Some good suggestions from the other half, and some others he harped on from the first draft; which I continued to ignore this time around.

Today, I took another quick pass (thus the third and a half draft), looking at only the action sections; and found a few more things to update...including a few more of the dreaded "begins to" BS.

I plan to go to our corner printing store in the morning, and have them print and bind it. Then, it's off to the ether that is our mail system, to then end up on the desk of a possible agent.

What I've found most fascinating about this latest immersion into the world of "Me & Simon Baker" is how attached I've become to the characters and the situations. I'm pleased with my work in a way I've never felt on this particular project before. I feel like it's begun to really breathe, and that there are many situations and character traits from everyone which are quite sympathetic. I like what I've done here. That seems like an obvious necessity, but frankly, I haven't felt this way since sometime during the creation of "Sid's Apple".

I've been thinking about the story all day; as if I've seen the actual film, and it resonated with me. I know I'm completey unbiased, but it makes me feel good that I care for the characters. I've got a great sense of pride and excitement over this piece. I hope it becomes "the little engine that could".

In other news, my Mother is doing quite well. She's back @ our local hospital, doing lots on her own. She will return to the surgery center tomorrow for follow up, and then it seems she can get back on track...with her search for a new home, and a move toward a new life. I wish her luck.

We lost two folks from the employ of my store last week. I miss them greatly, but it seems it may be to my own benefit. It appears as though I may be the recipient of a promotion (or as I will call it, my "un-demotion"). So, that's going well.

The other half is still searching for work, but found an ally in the offices that handle veteran's affairs. More on that as it happens.

We have now hiked a monumental 19 times over the past month or so. I hope we can continue it; as it seems to be making a hefty difference. I definitely have better lung capacity. And I feel wonderful taking it all in; in the great outdoors. Now, about that layer of smog when we reach the top...hmm.

I'm in pretty good spirits at the moment, and am hoping that y'all are too. Later.

So Long, John...

2009-08-10T18:30:00.004-07:00

I've been remiss in notating the death of John Hughes. I was a bit shocked when the other half called me @ work to deliver the sad news.

We've all read the obits and reports about how he defined a generation. Well, it's all true. My movie-going experience as a kid in the 80's, would have been pretty boring without his input.

No fewer than five films which had his mark on them; either as writer, director or producer; are on my top favorite film list.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Weird Science
Uncle Buck
Pretty in Pink
National Lampoon's Vacation

In addition, there are two other films I feel should probably be added to my fave list. Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Breakfast Club; are clear front-runners for the next spots on my coveted list.

His films all gave me, a confirmed nerd, a clear, ominous picture of what my life would be like when I entered high school. Let's just say, I was deeply afraid.

So long, John...you will be missed.

Local Actors Spotted #136-137

2009-08-10T18:24:00.003-07:00

Why just this morning, on our semi-regular hike to Runyon, we passed by the one and only Bob Barker. He said "good morning" to both of us, and we both melted. I've loved this man for so many years, it was a bit surreal to see him in the flesh. Love you Bob!

Up on the path, we passed by Michael McDonald. He's the brilliant comedic actor who plays Stuart; the annoying but adorable man-child from MADTV. He is in my Stew of Sin, and so it was nice to see him so hot in person. He was walking his dog. We passed him on the way back down as well, so I took it upon myself to say "I adore you". He replied with a "thank you" and "that was very kind". I'll show you kind, Stew of Sin inductee! Meow! :)

I love living here. It's like some ridiculous fantasy come to life.

Local Actors Spotted #133-135

2009-08-03T09:45:00.003-07:00

I was discussing this sighting w/ friend Wendy and the other half; on our hike this morning, and realized that I had not yet made note of this celeb in my ill-kept klugulablog. Well, I checked to be certain that I hadn't missed him, and will now announce that Ray Liotta was in my store; some 2-3 months ago...I can't believe I had forgotten. Of course, everyone will immediately refer to Goodfellas when thinking of Ray. However, it will bring up memories of one of my favorite films; Something Wild. I was with a customer, so I didn't get to ogle him or boost his ego, or annoy him...whatever. He looked good; some salt-n-pepper hair going on. I wish I could have said hello; and gotten an autograph. Oh well.

On our hike this morning, we passed Clive Pearse on the path. You know him as the host of HGTV's Design Star and Designed to Sell. As all of us were out of breath, no one did anything acknowledge him.

Finally, I must make note of the fact that one of the twins from the 80's sitcom Double Trouble (y'all remember that one?) was in the store a couple of weeks ago. I didn't know her name off hand (always a bit embarrassing--for me and them), but I did introduce myself. Just looked it up. Jean and Liz Sagal...of course I don't know which one I was talking to. Alas.

Stew of Sin #121

2009-07-29T21:18:00.003-07:00

Yet another female. God help me. We FINALLY saw Grindhouse this evening, and I will have thoughts on the entire experience in a later entry. For now, I want to point out that I found Marley Shelton (aka Dr. Dakota), extremely sexy. I couldn't get enough of the slitted dress which so slightly covered her deadly needles and her running around in those high heels, holding up those glamazon legs. FABULOUS! I was equally impressed w/ Rose McGowan, but Marley stole the show for me. So super sexy. Nice! I think her performance also stole the show; what a great actress! Need I mention the moment when her "husband" is stabbing her w/ the needles, checking the text messages, etc. Good stuff.

Concerns about the Living Dead #43

2009-07-28T23:37:00.006-07:00

Just found out; while perusing MySpace, that Clayton Hill passed away this week. I knew him best as "Escalator Zombie" in Romero's 1978 Dawn of the Dead. My brother and I always called him the "Ernest Borgnine Zombie". I met him and his wife Sharon ("Nurse Zombie") on a couple of occasions, and he was a real genuine treat. I'm very sad to see him go...

Let it be known that my second feature script (the Baker script) actually has/had roles for both Clayton and Sharon; playing themselves...and friends of my lead character (i.e. ME). So this kind of hits me personally...in a strange sort of way. Below is a link to an obit from The Pittsburgh Post Gazette. Thoughts to Sharon and his family, and to all of the zombie fans out there...we lost a good one. Let us know how the other half lives, Clay.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09208/986678-122.stm?cmpid=localstate.xml

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-07-18T18:37:00.003-07:00

You may believe this title to be a reference to the early 80's slasher film starring Little House on the Prairie's Melissa Sue Anderson; which goes by that name, and surprisingly, something I've never seen, but no. You would be wrong. It is a shameful plug for this; the day that begins my 35th year of life on this earth of ours. It is also the title for this epic update of my life, and one of my ever-dwindling number of blog entries. I just don't feel it lately. You'll move on. We'll be happy and free.

Per the "Corey Hotline"...let's see what's in the newspaper today. (If you get that reference, I'd love to read about it)

Sorry to see Walter Kronkite pass. I've done little to mark the loss of so many in the past weeks...Michael Jackson, my darling angel Farrah Fawcett, Karl Malden and Billy Mays. While the latter was always annoying, he was also a staple...as well as kind of a hot bear. :) There were tears shed over Michael, just for the fact that he was always around, looking for that comeback, and spreading the magic of his bizarre life. I loved Al Sharpton's words to his children on the day of his memorial @ the Staples Center. "Your daddy was not strange...he was surrounded by strange events". That's not the exact quote, and being the ever-lazy sloth I am, I refuse to open another window and look it up. But you all know what I'm talking about...unless you've been under a rock. So my kudos to all of these recent dead folks...

In domestic news; i.e. news in my own household where domestic chores are completed on a yearly basis...we're pigs, people! We returned from our dynamic trip to Sin City; to have the other half fired from his gig. My understanding from his expanation, was that his brilliant streamlining of the system in the credit department, basically knocked him out of a job. So efficient had it become, that he was no longer needed. Such is life. We've so been down this road in the past couple of years, that it took us about 3.5 minutes to get over it. Yes, I timed it. Meanwhile, my job has been going well. I am, as far as I can tell, one of the top salespeople in our district/region, whatever the hell it is. There has also been talk about possibly moving me back up to a management position. More on that as it happens...or doesn't happen. Hmm.

I've made it official. I've "given up" acting. Not that I won't take opportunities as they may arise, but I've decided to not currently pursue it (cuz I've been SO motivated to do so since we arrived in LA). I will focus on writing and getting my scripts out there; either by me, or by some major studio who wants to pay me to shoot my brilliant scripts. Whatever. I've got so many projects on my plate, acting and getting headshots and auditioning just have to take a backseat.

Hello? Is anybody out there?

So, how about some writing updates?

Neat, huh?

Sid's Apple hasn't had so much as a facelift in the past year. I should really take a look.

Me & Simon Baker. I'm still waiting on a few folks to provide feedback on the second draft (including the other half, you lazy ass! :) ) I need to get a third draft underway soon, as I plan to get some query letters in the mail in the next week (part of my plans on these current 3 days I have off for my b-day). In fact, I have completed the actual writing of the letter, have requested that a few friends in "the biz", read up and possibly provide a nice reference/blurb for the piece, and have submitted ONE query letter via email to a small boutique agency. Hey, it's better than nothing.

My third feature script hasn't gotten much face time lately, either. I think I've gotten about 14 pages (it's been so long, I really can't remember) written, and the last few pages were added nearly a month ago. Where the f*** does the time go, seriously?

I have officially dubbed Chris McCaleb my "writing partner", and we had another meeting over this last weekend. He and wife Ami hosted a sleepover last Saturday, where we consumed beverages, food and 4 films. In addition, the 6 months of brainstorming and meetings we have already had, found us writing several pages on the idea we plan to move ahead on. Holy bad grammar. Alas. It's a pretty sweet idea, and I believe the excitement level we share, confirms this is the "go-ahead" idea. Very exciting.

Now those four films. Two of Chris's selections (both keenly related to our script idea) and two zombie films (not related at all, but by brute force, something I had to make Chris watch; as he was a virgin to both); made for some awesome viewing pleasure. My films were Day of the Dead and Land of the Dead. Chris seemed to like Day of the Dead better, and I haven't viewed my all time fave in over a year. So, seeing it through Chris's eyes, made for a great time for me...same for Land of the Dead. Chris's choices were Invasion (a very fun sci-fi howler w/ Campbell Scott in the lead), and Europa (a marvelously visual film which I can't believe I had never seen before).

But the real fun was sitting down and actually writing several pages for the introduction scene of our story. We've got a very good start, not to mention a strong outline of where things will go. Characters and locales are laid out, and we are moving along. Of course, we both took home one scene each to work through, and were to have it "done" by week's end. What is today? Oh yes, Saturday. I'm super. We've also laid down the law for a rough draft...September 12th...less than a month away. What were we thinking? :)

Last night found us in Van Nuys, attending a party @ friends Pat and Jon. A bunch of college friends...some of whom I've seen recently, some I saw a year ago, and some I last saw probably 15 years ago. Wow. I'm friggin' old. Give me a few drinks, and this is where I laid it all on the table...asking my friends in "the biz" (as I mentioned above) for assistance. I find the alcohol levels make it easier for me to be bold, irritating and needy...how about you? Anyway, Doreen (whom I haven't seen in a thousand years) was in town, and I certainly talked her ear off. So to all who "enjoyed" my rantings last night, thanks!

Well, today is my birthday. I don't feel as though 35 is any different, but it feels like some kind of "getting older" milestone. I'm not really phased by it, nor was I by the 3-0. Truth be told, I am VERY afraid of the next one. Seriously, what have I gotten done in my life; to be this close to 40? For Godssake, my 20 year high school reunion is a mere 2 1/2 years away. What's that about?

Luckily, I do have a solid relationship w/ the other half (even though he drives me absolutely crazy), a job, food on the table, friends who love me and whom I love, a roof over my head, creative ideas still working their way from my brain to reality, and a working knowledge of bad 80's movies. All in all, I've got it pretty good, and I wish I could remember that more often. I think at the heart of things, I'm a pretty sappy, sensitive guy, and hope the jaded wackiness of my new home in LA doesn't end up getting the better of me.

Well, to end this all up...let me just say that the latest episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List; in which she played w/ the time and nerves of a realtor in Miami; really threw me for a loop. Of course I know that many reality programs are set up, but her behaviour in the "house-hunting" episode, really did kind of piss me off. Either that realtor was a truly undiscovered acting talent, or she was really ticked off. I vote for the latter. It seemed to be a step over the line; which is actually odd to mention when talking about Kathy Griffin. I was embarrassed for her, and I think it was a bad prank misfire. I still love her, but that one left a bad taste in my mouth.

Finally, I need money. Who wants to produce my films? Hook me up, dammit.

Shortly, we're off for my birthday dinner at one of our local faves...Pig-N-Whistle.

BTW, we've watched the first 2 episodes of Hung on HBO. So far, so good. Thomas Jane will have to be added to my Stew of Sin. You know it.

Also, let me publicly wish good luck to my friends/co-workers Wendy and Ian, on their new romantic endeavors. Good luck! This is not a jinx.

Local Actors Spotted #132

2009-07-18T18:28:00.001-07:00

I'm only about 98% certain it was him, but I believe I drove past Stan Lee on Santa Monica the other day...he was certainly looking like him, and in a convertible no less (not sure why "no less", but whatever). At any rate, I'm counting it!

Concerns about the Living Dead #42

2009-07-17T08:37:00.004-07:00

I've been hearing about this for a long time...so I must check up on when it will be released. Here's a trailer on YouTube. Could I be in heaven? BTW, I've met both George; and the director of this film; Rusty Nails. That means nothing, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09eO_zhqlpQ

Dead On: The Life and Cinema of George A. Romero

Stew of Sin #120

2009-07-13T22:06:00.003-07:00

Been awhile since I updated my sinful water party. The other half and I watched a movie on Logo (the GAY channel) called Mulligans. Not a particularly good movie; kind of a cross between Brokeback Mountain and Doing Time on Maple Drive...but it still provided some sexy results. I believe I've seen this next inductee on the faboo website "Shirtless Male Celebrities.com"...always a nice place to visit. He was hot, but I hadn't seen him in action. After a bit of reading up, found out that he's a stuntman as well. Not a bad actor, and certainly a daddy I'd do (patent pending). Please welcome Dan Payne to the sexiness that is my Stew of Sin (patent pending). Check him out.

Concerns about the Living Dead #41

2009-07-07T18:18:00.002-07:00

I posted some info on this one some time ago. Now there's a trailer. Apparently, it's still looking for some US distribution. Looking forward to it. The Horde. Love the name.

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/16653

Local Actors Spotted #129-131

2009-07-07T17:56:00.008-07:00

The other half screaming for his soup.

Tippi Hedren. Classic star of Hitchcock favorites The Birds and Marnie. Just half a block away @ the Madame Toussaud's, she was introducing the Hitchcock wax figure, and the other half auditioned to be the "scream" to accompany the Psycho display. The place opens up in less than a month. The other half got a photo of her, an autograph, and I got a photo of me in the foreground and her examining Hitch in the background. Nifty.

On a recent hike to Runyon Canyon, we crossed paths w/ Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel. He's much taller than I would have expected, and didn't take well to my throwing him into the bushes and trying to ravage him. Some people, huh?

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad

2009-07-05T09:29:00.002-07:00

A 95% negative review for House of Black Wings. Hey, I'm posting the nice ones, so I'll post the not-so-nice ones as well. It's only fair. This one's from Fatally Yours.com.

http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-reviews/house-of-black-wings-2009

Local Actors Spotted #119-128

2009-06-22T20:53:00.004-07:00

By gar, it's been a while. Lots of celebs I have yet to report.

Jessica Alba; complete w/ an entourage of paparazzi, walked by the store.

Today, Lorraine Gary was in. I think she was taken aback by the fact that I recognized her. Got her autograph. You might remember her as Mrs. Martin Brody (Roy Scheider's on screen wife) of Jaws, Jaws 2 and Jaws: The Revenge. She looked better now than she did in Jaws: The Revenge...OVER 20 YEARS AGO!

Colleen Camp. Known best as Yvette the maid in the classic laugh-fest; Clue. She was kooky, and funny, and LOVED me. Got her autograph as well.

The other day, Snow; one of the dancers on the first season of So You Think You Can Dance bought a sofa from me.

Shannon Tweed, former Playboy Playmate, and star of the Gene Simmons Family Jewels reality show. Saw her in the Starbucks next door to the store. She was an absolute AMAZON...so darn tall! I also know her well from the 80's T&A classic, Hot Dog: The Movie.

Project Runway. There were two alums from that show; filming something in the front of our building. From two seasons ago. I could look them up, but just don't have the motivation to do so. Doesn't mean I wasn't excited to see them. It was the guy that had to leave the show when he had an infection in his lips, and the short guy w/ the really dark hair and beard.

At a local theatre, I saw Kids in the Hall alum, Bruce McCullough. At the same time, we also saw 227's Jackee. Good times.

I won't count these, but the other half saw them. Chris Rock. Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake. American Idol's Kara Diagiordi (sp?).

Oh yeah, also Chad Michael Murray was in twice in the past week. He looks pretty hot in person.

I feel as though I'm missing some folks. That's what happens when I don't blog regularly. That is all.

The Way We Were

2009-06-18T09:37:00.003-07:00

That title just seemed appropriate. It sounds nostalgic and long ago... It works, since I haven't blogged in almost 3 weeks, but it doesn't mean I'm writing about long ago things...I'm staying current dammit!

The other half and I have been planning a trip to Vegas for a couple of months; maybe longer (excluding our fun overnight one w/ friend Chris at the end of May)...and we leave next Wednesday. Less than a week away. I've been counting down since that end of May journey. I'm so excited! We are going to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. Yes, TEN! Hard to believe, but true. We've booked 5 free (yes, FREE) nights @ our favorite home away from home; Ceasar's Palace. The only thing we have for actual plans; is our 8pm reservation @ Aureole @ Mandalay Bay on the 27th (the actual big day). Other than that, we will go where the day takes us. Much more my speed. I like to have some things planned, but this trip I made it clear that I wanted no schedule of any kind. That; in and of itself, is the most relaxing thing possible. No obligations means no obligations! Yeah!

Work has been fine. I'm now past 8 months w/ the company, and probably close to a month (I think), since my demotion. I don't love the pay cut, but MAN, do I love not being a manager. All escalated problems just move right past me. Very nice. Love it. The other half is past 4 months @ his gig, and all seems well w/ the world. DO NOT INSERT JINX HERE.

That brilliant script idea I had a few weeks ago, finally saw the light of day when I cranked out 6 pages on it on Monday...in half an hour. That's right. Probably a lot of garbage, but it's down on paper...so to speak. I think it's a good idea, but we'll see how it pans out. It's not zombie related, so my brain may find it difficult to switch gears.

Still have not heard back from many folks about the Baker script. I wanted that feedback before I began a third draft, but will have to plow ahead w/ fewer notes than I wanted. Something about people having lots going on in their lives. I guess I understand, but am still frowning. That's not meant to be a guilt trip, but take it as you like. :) I'm still grateful!

I received some feedback on Sid's Apple. The other half's boss was in the biz for 20 some years, so she agreed to take a look. Some of her comments I already had lingering on the back burner of my brain, but others will prove to be helpful. One of the main things she suggested is that I need to tell the reader (i.e. a producer or director) immediately what is going on, not provide the slow burn of letting it out as the story goes on. Something in there; akin to "Unbeknownst to Sid, something is happening". That seems difficult to me, but I'll see what I can do. She also recommended that I get rid of any "direction". I thought I had, but even "Sid turns left out of the hospital" is apparently a no-no as well. One more task to add to my never-ending creative project to-do list!

I'm listening to the 80's channel on the tellie. You soooo needed to know that.

Saw a few movies over the past weeks, which are worth mentioning.

Tropic Thunder. Quite a treat. Great script. Tom Cruise was fascinating to watch, but Jack Black was my favorite. The "I'll even swallow the gravy" monologue was absolutely hysterical! I really enjoyed this. Of course, Robert Downey, Jr. totally deserved his Oscar nom. He was nominated, wasn't he? Also, I loved the trailers at the beginning of the film. Brilliant!

Ink. This was a stunner. Friend Wendy informed me that this film starred her old college roomie, and was filmed in Denver on a shoestring budget. Last Wednesday, it had its LA premiere. On top of that; dear friend Libby moved to LA last week, and she knew someone else in the film...so we had two recommendations. So we went. Part Dark City, part The Matrix, and a bit of Hellraiser mixed in, and you get the idea. Visually, this was eye-poppingly brilliant. I don't want to give away too much, other than it is a battle between good and evil; all surrounding a little girl and her estranged father. Nightmares, two intertwining dimensions, lots of creepy bad guys, and heroic, breathtaking action sequences. This is an indie film? You've got to be kidding me! Other than a couple of bad performances which were able to jerk me back to reality every time they came on screen, this film was a major achievement. It's a sobering indicator of what can be done w/ very little. Honestly, most of the visuals rival anything the big studios could put out there. A great movie-going experience. Here's a link to the site; and trailer. Yeah, Ink! BTW, it was AWESOME to see Libby after about 14 years. Welcome to LA, girl!

http://www.doubleedgefilms.com

Also, there was a faboo Q & A w/ the director, DP, producer, and the majority of the main cast following the film. So much insight, inspiration and wonderful anecdotes. The little girl (who was just amazing) reminded me of my niece. Made me miss my girls. Anyway...

Fido. Billy Connolly as a domesticated zombie in the Leave it to Beaver 50's; following the Zombie War. Isn't that enough to get you to take a look? Okay, I'll add that the cast includes Carrie Anne Moss and Dylan Baker. Still not enough? Suggested zombie/human relationships and sex. There, now go get it.

My beloved Kathy Griffin is back on Bravo w/ a new season of My Life on the D-List. But, she's hardly D-list any longer. The first two episodes have followed her as she tries to learn the ropes of being an A-lister...spending entire days w/ the likes of Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin. Loving it so far. Go Kathy!

The other half and I have now been in our apartment over a year. All of the year milestones have been reached already. March 31st; a year since we left Chicago. May 4th; a year since we arrived in LA. And June 13th; a year in our apartment. Time marches on...Can't I please get something done?

I turn 35 this year. Lord.

Finally, I met up w/ friend Justin last week to help out w/ some adt'l AD duties for his web-series Big Bother...which is to premiere very soon. I also provided a voice for one of the characters. Twas fun. Looking forward to seeing it online!

Well, I best start getting ready for another day @ work. The grind is a-callin'.

Are You Trying to Piss Me Off?

2009-05-29T21:48:00.002-07:00

I've got a few gripes to get off of my chest, so I appreciate your taking the time to read. My pain equals your entertainment...

Had a customer today who was an absolute bitch. Some ancient woman, who apparently didn't get the immediate attention she needed or deserved. It's not as if we were ignoring her; we were all with other customers. I finished w/ my current customer, turned to her, and asked if she wanted to pay for the large decorative plate she had placed on the counter. She replied with a pointed, "No, I need help." I went around to her, apologized for the delay; explaining that we were all helping someone. She responded with, "You weren't helping anyone." My response of head shaking and jaw dropping was just automatic. I helped her w/ her needs and then began to wrap her items. My co-worker started to assist w/ the wrapping. However, we were down to one tape dispenser which still had some masking tape on it (we're waiting on our supply order), so we had to share. Rather than take the entire ONE remaining dispenser to my side of the cashwrap, I grabbed a couple of pieces of tape and went back to my side. The crazy, ancient psycho bitch woman, now felt the need to tell me how to do my job. She asked me, "Why don't you bring the tape over to this side?" Let's keep in mind that my dear co-worker, Wendy, was also using this tape. Did I mention that? My response to the bitch (not in a sarcastic, but a firm tone) was this, "I think I've got everything under control, thank you." She then requested some assistance to her car. I advised that we have a loading dock in the back; since it's generally frowned upon for us to leave the store; and help people to their cars; even if they're parked "right out front" (it never is that; they're a block or so down the street--this is what we have a loading dock in the back for; no traffic, and no rush...and frankly, NO DANGER TO OUR EMPLOYEES--you stupid bitch!). Anyway, Wendy agreed to help her out, and Wendy got an earful, apparently about how "arrogant" I am. Boy, this ancient bitch; who apparently only leaves her Beverly Hills mansion to cause mayhem and misery in her fellow man, certainly read me. If I'm anything, it's arrogant. Kudos to you, stupid bitch lady (thanks for that terminology, Ryan Harris). Let me also point out that her package couldn't have been more than a couple of pounds. Am I being insensitive about her possible old-age, can't lift a plastic bag, handicap? Maybe. But I'm pissed, and her ridiculous and disrespectful sense of entitlement allows me to be a bastard to her. So, my horrible, vengeful thoughts are out there. As I've heard another co-worker say about a customer..."God is watching you, and he knows what you're doing."

While I had a great day in sales @ the store, more wackiness occurred after stupid bitch lady made her way back out our doors; just before my lunch break. This was one of those moments I knew would arrive; but certainly not this quickly. I was so excited for that first time I could say to a customer "yes, I'll be happy to get a manager for you"; cuz, well I am no longer one...so I can pawn off the BIG problems to someone making more money than I am...certainly when they ask for a higher-up. Well, a BIG TIME HIGHER UP showed up unexpectedly; while the three remaining persons working this evening, were all engaged w/ other customers. So, apparently, cuz we didn't greet this person, and didn't get to them immediately, we had a "bad visit", and provided "bad customer service". A few thoughts. One: You visit; let's say; about 10 times a year. In general, we get great reviews (or so I understand; I'm no longer privy to anything as a mere full time peon). I imagine that we have 80% good visits, but we never hear about those...only the "bad visits". BS. Two: Had we been standing around, and in no way acknowledged your presence; whether we knew who you were, or didn't know who you were...then that might be worth having a "problem". We were helping others. Frankly, I didn't know who you were, so you would have had to wait until I was done w/ my current customer. Finally, I would give anything for these higher ups (certainly I don't know the backgrounds of these folks, so I should shut up, but won't) to spend 10 or so work days in our shoes. Get a glance a the type of days we can possibly have. Hectic, with nasty customers and running around like a chicken w/ its head chopped off. Yes, there are more lowkey days, and perhaps that is when you visited before; thus allowing us to kiss your behind to your liking. But, then there are those days when it's a major task to just keep our sanity. Try it, and then let me know if that changes your outlook on our menial jobs. But what do I know, I'm only on the front lines of your company...taking hits like demotions (basically only cuz "shit rolls downhill"), pay cuts and loss of bonuses, while I'm sure you're still living high off the hog. Let's have a little more knowledge and respect for your subordinates...it makes us happier, and lets you go to bed at night w/ some good karma.

Is this day trying to piss me off?

Whatever and More Whatever

2009-05-23T21:44:00.002-07:00

Whatever.

I have to put an end to chewing my nails. I just can't stop.

I'm irritated. I'll let the cat out of the bag now, although it won't be official until Monday. I have been demoted @ my job. I am no longer an Associate Manager, I am now a full time salesperson. I was offered a position w/ a tiny pay increase; @ the Santa Monica location. I declined, took a slight pay cut and stayed at my current location. A few reasons why. I don't want to start over w/ new customers, and new co-workers. Not interested in that. Also, since I don't drive; and take public transportation, my commute would be about 2 hours (at least) a day; on the bus. No thanks. In addition, the Santa Monica location has longer hours...well past the hours I now work. Yes, let me close the store @ 10pm, get out of there by 10:30pm, wait for the bus for half hour and then take it home for another hour...all on a riotous LA Saturday night. I don't think so. Of course I was only demoted because others were demoted. I didn't have seniority. Seems unfair, but we'll see how it pans out. A lot of resentment, but also some relief. When some bitchy, bandage-faced Beverly Hills housewife with puffy Melanie Griffith lips wants to speak to a manager, I can now say, "hold on for just a moment, I'll get one". I have so little responsibility now. I get to sell and sell some more. Not bad, since that's one of my strong suits anyway. I'm just also irritated cuz I KNOW for a fact that I am one of the hardest working people @ my location. I don't say that to be an ass...it's just plain fact. So, there it is.

Off to Vegas w/ the other half and friend Chris...tomorrow. Just a quick overnight getaway, but f*** do I need it! Freebie hotel room @ Paris, so I'm all jazzed about it.

Nothing has happened on the "Baker" script. I've sent it to about 10 people...and am awaiting feedback. Hurry up people! I know you have lives, but hell! I mean, jeez! I want to begin a third draft, but figured I would wait to see what folks had to say. Actually, I'm thankful that so many people have taken on the task to help me out. Thanks, guys!

Busy as hell @ work today. But, made my time go fast; as I wait for tomorrow's journey to the East to get here. Hurry up!

Saw The Incredible Hulk. Aside from a constantly shirtless Edward Norton, I found very little memorable about this one. Meh.

Well. Well.

Whatever.

Ah...Heck. David Samples FRENCH TOAST, and Likes It!

2009-05-15T10:01:00.005-07:00

Yeah, I know...the title doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense, considering David was there for the majority of the shoot, and he saw the rough cut, the not-so-rough cut and the final cut, etc. Basically, I'm saying that he already sampled the gosh-darn thing!

Anyway, I was grabbing the links to the new reviews for House of Black Wings, and neglected to read David's post all the way to the end; until later. He had some nice words about French Toast, and I wanted to share...well, cuz they make me happy. Thanks, David!

"Shortly after wrapping House of Black Wings, cast/crew-member Michael Klug shot his own first movie: French Toast. This terrifically surreal and disurbing little chiller is *finally* available online!"

Two More Reviews for "HOUSE OF BLACK WINGS"

2009-05-14T22:45:00.002-07:00

Both are basically positive. I'm sure more to come! How exciting!

http://www.kitleyskrypt.com/hobw.htm

http://www.horrornews.net/reviews/Review_House_of_Black_Wings.htm

French Toast! The Entire Short Film; Now Viewable Online!

2009-05-12T20:48:00.004-07:00

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=57282527

I've finally converted it, and placed it online for all to see. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know your thoughts.

Best,

klugula

New "Big Bother" Trailer!

2009-05-12T10:45:00.003-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UMuY__bxQw

Both the other half, and myself appear. I thought we agreed we'd never work together again! Hmm.