Stew of Sin Special Edition

Prince Harry is SOOOO already in my stew, but I found this picture earlier today. Had to post it. He is just SOOOO fine! Abs in action!

Stew of Sin #124 & 125

It's a special Cougartown edition. I have gotten quite hooked on this show, and it's due in no small part to the hotness of the parade of men going in and out of Jules (Courtney Cox) life.

First up is her recently divorced across-the-street neighbor, Grayson (Josh Hopkins). Last night's episode had a dream sequence in which this hottie appears shirtless. Nummy is the only word to describe him. Just delicious. Difficult to top? Sure is, but Brian Van Holt manages to do just that. As Jules ex-husband Bobby, he manages to be a total manchild and fun dad, a true sweetheart, and an absolute dish. This guy makes my butter melt.

Concerns about the Living Dead #45

This is a photo from Romero's Dawn of the Dead (1978). Here's the setup: Flyboy is in the elevator when the power goes out. He has been shot, and must climb through the trapdoor in the ceiling of the elevator. Suddenly, the door opens, and this is the image you see.

For YEARS after first seeing this, I had a high anxiety reaction in most elevators. The one I recall the most, was in my local hospital (for those from Lead/Deadwood, you know the one--next to the optometrist and pharmacy). I recall having actual mini-panic attacks while travelling from the 1st to the 2nd floor, or vise versa. The anticipation of the doors opening was almost too much for me. This is the image I would always expect to see upon arrival to the destination floor.

Is it any wonder I'm so messed up, if this was the kind of crap that went through my head as a preteen? Then again, being obsessed w/ zombies probably allowed me to control my erections in gym class as I was trying to figure out why I liked boys so much! ;) So, thank goodness for zombies and the mortal fear they instilled.

Thanks Mr. Romero, for not letting me get beat up as an up-n-coming Flyboy--er, gay boy.

Stew of Sin # 122 & 123

In honor of the new V television series, I am making immediate room for two of its hottest actors.

Of course I'm adding Morena Baccarin (the supreme leader; Anna). Since she's actually a lizard, I won't worry that she's another female being added to my stew. Great performance on last night's premiere; and I can only hope her character's evil will continue to manifest itself. It only serves to turn me on further.

And I'd not be able to sleep at night if I didn't add Joel Gretsch; aka Father Landry. I'd insert a truly tasteless line about how I would love to dress as an altar boy if he was the one doing the molesting, but again, that would be in poor taste...considering all of the folks who have suffered at the hands of such evil. In or out of cleric's clothing, he's a worthy addition to my sinful water party.

I Want That 10

The latest LA condo that the other half has located; and I am now drooling over. It's just off of La Cienega. Lovely finishes. Great space. Cool details.

Here's the link...

http://www.westknollcondo.com/

Concerns about the Living Dead #44

George A. Romero was on NPR's "Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me." this morning. Of course, I was working while it aired...however, it is available via the internets.

Here's a link.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114303424

And, I got my big Halloween scare in a roundabout way; via this appearance on NPR.

The other half called me at work today. Generally, it is if he found some good deals on clothing while out and about on a Saturday; or if he is the first one to hear big news...i.e. some celebrity has died.

So, this is how it goes.

Co-worker: "Elwood's on the phone for you."
Me (picking up the phone): "Thanks for holding, this is Michael, may I help you?"

STOP

Yes, even if I know it's Elwood, I'll still answer that way. You never know if a co-worker could have been mistaken, or if I picked up the wrong line.

Anyway...

Elwood: "George Romero--"

STOP

So, based on past phone calls reporting celebrity deaths, my heart stopped for a moment. Can you imagine my brain trying to wrap itself around this; if indeed it had been what I thought?

At any rate, he was just calling to let me know that George was on NPR.

How's that for a roundabout, boring tale?

Anyway, George is fine, and he did quite well on "Wait, Wait..."

Check it out.

That is all.

Local Actors Spotted #138-143

I'm WAAAAY behind on these, so I'll try to remember all of the sightings of late.

Yesterday, two-time Oscar winner and star of Jaws: The Revenge was in my store; SIR Michael Caine. Before I got the chance to chat w/ him; he was on his way out of the store. It didn't dawn on me to discuss one of my all time fave movies w/ him (the brilliantly hysterical Noises Off)...this always seems an easier way to approach some of these celebs; if I've got some "connection" w/ them. Ah, well.

I'll count the other half's sighting and short chat with Sean Penn as one...even though I wasn't there. :(

Janice Dickinson's former partner and former star on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency; Peter Hamm was spotted on our hike (some time ago; since we've been horrible slackers as of late).

As you all probably know from my frequent Facebook updates, The Six Million Dollar Man himself; Lee Majors aka Steve Austin, was in the store last week. He was awesome; his wife was super sweet, and they promised me an autographed photo...soon to be found in my mailbox. Sweet!

Robert Culp walked past us on one of our trips up to Runyon. Former star of I-Spy and The Greatest American Hero; my biggest recollection of him; comes from the episode of The Golden Girls in which Blanche gets a pacemaker. That's just the way my brain works, folks.

I don't believe I've notated the sighting of MAD TV alum (and Stew of Sin inductee) Ike Barinholtz. Saw him at the end of one of our hikes (several months ago).

I know there must be others, but I'm having non-total recall. That works. If I think of the others, I'll be sure to let you know.

"Lady, you're dyin'..."

Or at least she will be, if she doesn't knock off the bitch behavior.

Woman was in today. I don't generally judge (a flat-out lie), but this woman looked to be in her fifties; and was in the family way. Clearly she waited too long to breed, and now her Depend-using/elderly woman bladder was mixing it up w/ her over-active/pregnancy bladder, and she probably has to pee every 20 minutes or so. Really not my problem. Now, let it be known that we don't have a public restroom. We just don't. Get over it. Go next door to Starbucks and use theirs. WE DON'T HAVE ONE. More on Starbucks later...

Here's the conversation...

Pregnant Senior Citizen: "What's the difference between (insert whatever items she was shopping for here)."

Me: "(insert explanation here)."

Pregnant Senior Citizen: "Do you have a restroom?"

Me: "No, I'm sorry we don't. But there is one next door at Starbucks."

Pregnant Senior Citizen frowns through her Melanie Griffith/messed up plastic surgery/Beverly Hills spoiled housewife lips.

Pregnant Senior Citizen: "Well, then I'm done. I'll just buy these and leave."

The Adrienne Barbeau wannabe pays for her items.

Pregnant Senior Citizen (w/ full "snoot" intact): "Y'know, people would probably shop longer if you had a restroom."

STOP!

How the hell am I to respond to something like that? Here are some options...

"Lady, you are the one who chose to have a child during your golden years...therefore any bladder issues that accompany this choice of yours, are your problem. Lots of businesses don't have public restrooms. Which is fine by me, cuz the general public are snot-encrusted, self-important jackasses. Are you one?"

or

"Why the hell would you choose to shop somewhere (or how long you'd choose to stay shopping on one of your spoiled-ass splurges) based on their lack of public facilities? Who the hell are you?"

or

A just plain, "What the hell are you talking about?"

That was the one that went through my head. This is one of the most idiotic exchanges I've ever had the displeasure of being a part of.

Go on lady. Take your entitled BS somewhere else...perhaps where they have a public restroom (which is not a requirement anyway).

Okay, Starbucks; or story # 2.

We have one of these businesses right next door to our store. We have a staff of about 10 folks, and we all go there for various reasons...quite regularly, I might add. Snacks, lunches and the ever-needed coffee fixes (not me--I don't drink coffee). In addition, we are known to go next door to just get ice waters throughout the day. Our store has to be one of the dryest on this planet of ours; and so dehydration seems to always be lurking about; waiting to "take the first man who screams" (thanks Aunty Entity--if you don't get that reference, let me know). We're thirsty dammit! Well, friend/co-worker Wendy went next door on truck day (always a tough day for us) this past week, and the manager @ Starbucks asked her, "can't your manager afford water?" (I'm not sure on the exact exchange/quotes, but this is the jist) Wendy replied, "What?" SBucks manager says, "Aren't you one of the managers? Can't you afford to get your people water?"

Well, I heard about this a day later; and am now debating whether I boycott Starbucks in general, or just this particularly ignorant location. This really pissed me off, and I am also wondering if I should write a letter to someone. ????

Anyway, I won't be returning there, and am trying to convince my co-workers and staff to do the same. The amount of business we give them is nothing to sneeze at...not to mention that merchants who are also neighbors should really support each other. Finally, we're sending all of the need-to-pee ladies and gents next door. I can't imagine they're not grabbing something to drink or snack on as they leave behind their waste in the bathroom. I know that's stretching it, but damn...this whole thing was just a kick in the balls. Screw you SBucks...

My final tale of interest.

On our shopping excursion to Target yesterday, we were checked out by a young man wearing a shirt with writing in Spanish (I don't need the lecture on the fact that I don't read or speak this language). The other half turned to me, and said that he would have to talk to a manager. He asked me if I could figure out why. I looked more closely @ the t-shirt. I saw the name "Jesus". Was that the guy's name? Nope. The other half explained that the shirt read something like, "Jesus is my Lord and Saviour".

STOP!

Is this appropriate? I don't think so...and even as offensive and nasty as the other half can be at times, he took offense to this t-shirt. So he talked to a manager. The manager explained that as long as they wear a red shirt, it doesn't matter what is written (excluding profanity--of course). The other half then asked her, "so I could wear a shirt stating that 'Satan is my Lord and Saviour'?" The manager laughed and pulled up on her necklace chain...@ the bottom of it was a charm...a charm in the shape of an UPSIDE-DOWN CROSS.

And that, my friends...concludes the best three anecdotes I can share w/ you from my life over the past week or so.

That is all.

This Is a Doozie!

Picture this. 4 employees. A home furnishings and accessories store. 2 of the employees are helping 2 customers. The other 2 are standing about; waiting for something to happen. No one else is in the store. Suddenly, a honking just outside the store. A traffic jam? A car accident? A pedestrian crossing @ the wrong time? Surely w/ the non-stop beeping from some car on the outside, it must be a major event. Finally, after 30 seconds of this nonsense, one of the available employees makes his way to the front door. A woman is leaning out of her large white SUV. Why, it's the vehicle that has been honking! Why is she honking so much, so long, so loud?

The stupid bitch is honking to get the attention of us w/in the store; to set about searching for her daughter who may or may not be inside our shop. ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?! A quick search reveals that this "daughter" is not to be found within.

I have never witnessed such an amazing, disgusting display of laziness; and I've looked at myself in the mirror! What is going on w/ this world?!

Thought I'd share, cuz it pissed me off.

What's that? You want me to...

Oh, yes--my mistake. I'll make an additional notch; confirming the pending extinction of our sad species. What a useless bitch!

I Am In Heaven

How absolutely fabulous is this? It's for true as well. Genius.

Get Off My Chest!

I feel like bitching. About a great many things (thank you Palpatine). Let's dish.

Go ahead and judge me. I have been a fan of The View for awhile, but lately...it's kinda pissing me off! Barbara Walters has always been a bit irritating...but could still be endearing @ moments, and even funny (even rarer moments), but her behavior on The View this season has been abhorrent. I absolutely LOVE watching Whoopi make faces as Barbara CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTS...all guests, all co-hosts...EVERYONE. She simply won't shut up, won't let anyone have their say and doesn't apologize for her rudeness. Shut the hell up, WAWA! I think my love affair w/ The View is nearing an end.

Speaking of never shutting up...never mind--a story for another time perhaps.

The other half and I went to the dual ATM's down the street the other night. The machine we chose was not allowing us to make a deposit, so we stepped away, and waited behind the guy using the other one. We had a very respectable distance; as we always do. The guy kept looking behind him; checking us out. He then asked us, "Are we waiting for something?" The other half replied w/ "yes, the ATM." The man then replied that he was worried; cuz he had seen people trying to get codes or other secure info. WTF!? This whole incident severely angered me. Who the f*** do you think you are? It's not as if we were standing over him. Go to hell...you stupid, paranoid mother-f***er!

Go to hell, Kate and Jon Gosselin. I can't stand to hear anymore about you idiot breeders. PLEASE GO AWAY!

I'm in a VERY IRRITABLE MOOD right now.

Can't you tell?

I'm unhappy that Chicago lost the Olympics. What makes me more angry than that? I saw some video this evening on The Rachel Maddow Show; a bunch of right wing morons cheering over the news that we lost the Olympic bid. You effing traitors! You can go to hell as well.

Who else do I feel like cursing?

I had my one year anniversary @ my job last Thursday. That's not a gripe. Or is it?

The other half received his first certification; by passing his first exam w/ flying colors this last Friday. Congrats, my boy!

We've been hiking only sporadically. I feel lame, but what else is new?

Barely any work on any writing projects. I feel lame, but what else is new?

No word (and it's been almost two months since I sent my script out to that agency). Their initial letter said I would hear something w/in 1 to 2 weeks. Not doing much to up my esteem. I feel lame, but what else is new?

I'm in a bad mood.

I'm in a bad mood.

Been working on my website. It's coming along admirably. Does anyone care? I don't right now.

Let me go off and eat myself into a bloated slumber.

Had an absolutely WONDERFUL day w/ Libby. Chatting, dishing and working. We then ran into LA's newest residents (strictly accidental--what a small world indeed!) friends Karyn and Mike. Wonderful day...so why am I in such a bad mood now? Anyone? Anyone?

To the customers @ my store who feel the need to lay on our back door buzzer multiple times (for picking up larger items), when we clearly have a sign reading "ring buzzer only once", please go to hell. We don't have someone manning the back door at all times. Does that compute? All of you nasty customers...GO TO HELL. To my regulars and the good ones...you better try to stay on my good side. :)

I feel like I had other fun anecdotes to entertain you; but nothing else is coming up. So go away...for now.

This entry absolutely sucks. That is all.

OMG.

I remember seeing something about this...oh, about a year ago; if not longer. We had a chance to see a screening (I believe the one they're showing in the trailer...dammit!), but for some reason, we didn't go. What was the reason, other half? Oh, he's out of it...watching Futurama or something.

Anyway, enjoy this trailer. It looks pretty sweet. I got goosebumps. This is different from the trailer I believe I posted some time ago. Enjoy.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/buzz-log-paranormal-activity.html

"Last night, I dreamed I held you in my arms..."

Do you know this quote? Even if you do, this is its origin.

Since last night, I've been trying to find this quote in my pop culture-infused brain. It seemed ideal for my state of mind...and until 5 minutes ago, it eluded me.

It's from The Simpsons; the classic episode in which Bart buys Radioactive Man #1 with Milhouse and my beloved Martin; and chaos ensues.

I had the inkling of this quote as I looked through my mail; upon arriving home. I had a notice from the post office, that they tried to deliver a LARGE ENVELOPE; CERTIFIED MAIL.

The note said it was from "WME2". Well, I recognized those letters; in that order--and confirmed it online. It's from William Morris Endeavor. "WME2" is their logo/abbreviation. Needless to say, I was a little excited. For those that don't know, William Morris is one of the end-all/be-all agencies in the biz...or so I'm told. What the hell do I know?

Well, my first thought is...would they send a rejection letter; certified mail in a large envelope; especially since I had provided the necessary SASE? Would they?

My second (highly irrational) thought was that they represent Simon Baker (one of the main characters in my script; which the query letters were marketing), and were sending some "cease and desist" letter; i.e. "stop writing about our client without his permission or we'll take legal action". That train of thought then lead to; "Well, wouldn't a letter like that come from an actual law office, then?" Lord.

So, I set about to call some friends; for two reasons...to ask legitimately if they knew what this meant, and also to have them push me into my immediate rationalization that this was A BIG DEAL.

Friend Michael let me know; after our initial conversation, that he checked on this online. Apparently, to keep themselves protected in plagiarism scenarios, some agencies send certified rejection letters. Okay, that brought me back down to earth a bit.

The other realistic info came from friend Justin. He had apparently received rejection letters; which had been certified and "pretty". In his situation; he couldn't understand why they took the time and expense. Okay.

Today, friend James suggested, "a paid rejection letter?" Still some hope?

So, while I hope it could be something AWESOME, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that it's a rejection letter...albeit in sugar-coated packaging. A frame-able piece! :)

In a matter of 12 hours; as I make my way to the Wilcox Post Office, the tale will be told.

My last bit of hope that it could be something more than a rejection; is the fact that it's marked as "large envelope". A rejection letter is only one page. Would a letter with bad news be flat/unfolded and in a big old manila envelope? I don't know.

So, we come back to my quote from The Simpsons. For a few fleeting moments, before dream-killing reality set in..."Last night, I dreamed I held you (a script request) in my arms..."

More on this tomorrow.

That is all.

That One's My Favorite--Slaughter High

This is a brand new series I'm throwing into my blogging mix. It joins the much beloved "Stew of Sin" series, the "Concerns about the Living Dead" entries, and the "I Want That" set; still in its infancy.

I'm going to post a trailer (assuming I can find all of them); for all of my favorite movies. I figured I'd start w/ Slaughter High...well, cuz why not? It's a doozie of a movie. Horrible acting, bad dialogue, plentiful (and awful) nudity, cheap effects and one hell of a good chase scene. It was originally called April Fool's Day, but that pretty darn decent Fred Walton movie beat it to the punch. Thus the classy Slaughter High was taken instead. You'll recognize no one; except for the lead actress--former Bond girl, Caroline Munro. Oh, and you'll recognize the score; as it comes from Friday the 13th composer; Harry Manfredini...and sounds nice and similar (i.e. EXACTLY LIKE) the music from your fave Friday the 13th howler.

I will also attempt to give some details on my viewings of these films in each entry. How's that?

I first saw Slaughter High with my friend Mike; during a sleepover. It was during my horror hey-day; where I would see anything and everything that came my way; as far as horror films. I liked it, but didn't LOVE it. The next morning, horror nerd friend, Eric called me. "Had I seen it? Did I LOVE it?" Well, since I was so squishy with opinions when I was a pre-teen, we quickly made it one of our tops. Since then, I've seen it well over a hundred times (I think I'm being quite restrained in that figure--I actually have no clue). I currently only have the film recorded from HBO on a quickly deteriorating VHS tape. Although, I do believe I did transfer it to DVD. However, I learned from friend Eric; that it was recently released on DVD (hopefully w/ lots of extras)...but I have yet to spot it; order it...or sadly; afford it.

Here's how it will work. I'm stealing from my now-defunct "klugula.com" website. I had three categories for my favorite movies. All of my choices and the categories they end up in; are up for debate (which I welcome), but for now...this is how it will go.

Category One--My Fave Movies. These are the movies which I absolutely adore, and which would be considered "legitimately quality films". Big budgets, Oscar winners, studio films, good production values...etc.

Category Two--My Fave Stinkers. These are the movies which I absolutely adore, and which would be considered "total crap". I know they're awful, but I can't help loving them. They're cheap, have bad acting and were probably critical and box office bombs; if they weren't already direct-to-video pathetics.

Category Three--My Fave Diamonds. Called that; cuz they are what I consider "Diamonds in the Rough". A few prerequisites to attain this status. You've never heard of it. You've heard of it--maybe even seen it--but have less than fond memories of it. I say it deserves a second chance. Finally, a movie you may have heard of (but all bad reviews), but in which I found something worthwhile. I'm saying "Give it a shot!"

Finally, the title of this new blog series comes from a young girl I once heard at a 4th of July fireworks event; many years ago. Every single flash in the sky ended with her saying, "That one's my favorite". While I shunned her at the time, wondering how EVERY SINGLE ONE could possibly be her "favorite", I now see that it is possible...even for me; at least where movies are concerned. My list is ever-expanding...including a few films I have seen only once, but which so moved me; that it simply had to be added to the list.

So, off we go. Enjoy...and I hope I inspire you to see something new.

BTW, don't blame me. If you hate my recommendations, I can't get you that time back, so what are we left with, eh? Anger? Frustration? Blame? Negativity can kill, y'know. That is all.

Too Funny

Co-worker Erica pointed this out, and both the other half and I confirmed she was right. This is a print we carry @ work. Of course, now the other half and I will have to own this. Who does the tall white guy look like? Who does the shorter red guy look like? I thought so. Hysterical!