Let's Call It a "Soft Retirement"

Some of you may remember a temporary resignation from my home-site Horror Freak News, earlier in the year.  There were changes made to the site's overall work-a-day routine, and it just didn't fit with what I needed from the gig.

So I left.  Two months later, and I was back.  Things were fixed, at least in some ways -- and I worked another festival season, covering FilmQuest, Screamfest and Shriekfest for another year.

But over the past two months, since the festival season tapered off, things are again changing at the site... and also in my personal life and in my needs as a writer.

It's been a remarkable year for screenwriting -- projects coming out of my ears (why some even paid!).  And I got back on that acting horse, taking a role in a feature film.  I don't feel as though my film criticism/journalism has necessarily suffered this year, but it took a bit of a backseat in my various comings and goings.

But that's not the real problem.  I just surpassed FOUR years in this journalism business... and the same reservations which gnawed at me when I resigned this last summer -- are still there (issues which, paired with the site's changes, made the choice to resign so sensible).  More present than before?  Who knows, but they're there.

I've been a movie fan for as long as I can remember.  And movies ARE MY LIFE.  So what am I supposed to do and/or feel when watching movies begin to feel like a CHORE?

I don't consider myself jaded by any stretch -- and I've always felt like my reviews are fair, with specific examples cited as to why a film did or did not work for me.  Even when I'm this long in the tooth, review-wise, I still consider myself level-headed and fair.

But if something I've enjoyed, marveled at and looked forward to as part of my daily life -- begins to not be, well... enjoyable -- then it's time to reconsider things.

This has been a remarkable journey.  I've met people in the horror industry whom I've idolized since childhood.  I've made lifelong friendships and seen some amazing artistic achievements.

Wouldn't it be a joy to move ahead into life and to simply watch the film, enjoy and perhaps discuss, but not have to look a deadline right in the face?  Just get back to watching and basically nothing more?

I've told folks that I no longer really watch films for pleasure.  It's work.  And with plenty of contacts in the industry and with public relations firms, there's never a shortage of films at my door, waiting to be criticized or loved.

So here I am.  With my professional life shifting and my journalistic home on the interwebs not living up to its potential (in my opinion) -- it seems like a clear choice to make, right?

I offered up my resignation from Horror Freak News today -- for the second time this year.  And doesn't that say something about where this "experiment" was ultimately headed?

I've already begun toying with the idea of putting together a physical book of my 400 or so reviews from the past 4+ years.  I figured that would be an ideal way to "bookend" (get it?) this detour.

But you'll also note that the title of the blog entry includes "Soft Retirement".  Who knows?  In a year or so, I might be missing the hell out of this and will come squirming back into the bloody fold, wanting to again tackle 10 screeners/reviews in one week.

For now -- however, I'm gonna focus the hell on getting some scripts done, and perhaps dig a little deeper back into the neglected acting side of my life.

I can also say this -- at this exact moment, with my resignation on the table... I've got absolutely no deadlines, aside from all of my self-imposed ones (and those aren't really real, anyway). 

That feels good.  That feels really good.

The future and my work calendar has just opened up.  The sky's the limit!