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an ongoing description of my life, loves, thoughts, fears, work and lustings.

Friday, May 15, 2020

My Favorite Bathroom in the World

This is not my photo, but is an image directly across from "my favorite bathroom in the world".
I've posted on my "Cheap Therapy" blog about my ongoing "poo anxiety".  That phobia (for which I actually saw a psychiatrist for a time) which gives me deep and overwhelming anxiety, in "no-escape" scenarios (in traffic, as an example) where I believe I might crap my pants, and must then deal with the fallout of potential panic attacks, related to said anxiety.

While it's never actually happened (knock on wood), it's something I continue to deal with.  Although, in the current pandemic/quarantine, it's become less of an issue, as I'm at home, going out only once every two weeks for supplies.  There's simply no place or necessity for this particular phobia at this time.  That being said, these infrequent trips to the grocery store in this "new normal", still sees some bits of "poo anxiety", and perhaps at a more heightened level.  I mean, with businesses closed, there are far fewer "pit stops" available, should the need arise to expel my bowels, right?  No winning, here.

I was reminded of my favorite public restroom in the world (the little that I've explored), when the announcements began to pour in that Vegas, and indeed, some of the Caesars properties were preparing to slowly/safely reopen.

Having dealt with my "poo anxiety" for so many years now, it's become clear that places like malls or amusement parks, and indeed casinos - are a safe haven for my ridiculous (but very real) poo anxieties.

And that clearly comes from the fact that bathrooms in such large public places are at a premium.  If I feel the need to go #2, there's a restroom every three steps.

I have honestly come to the conclusion that this is one of the main reasons why I so adore my time on the Las Vegas strip.  Yes, I love gambling, people-watching, the Vegas vibe.

But is it even more important that I don't have to focus on the needs of my bowels in a public place?

Anyway, I wanted to share these insights about my favorite bathroom in the world (per the entry's title).

One of the traditions my other half and I follow while in Vegas -- whether we're staying at Flamingo, Harrah's, Bally's, Planet Hollywood, Paris, Caesar's Palace, Cromwell or Linq (we're strictly Caesar's property folks, cuz that's where we get the freebies and the deals) -- almost every morning of our stay, we'll frequent the Denny's on the strip (w/in Casino Royale) for breakfast.  And yes, I do so love Denny's coffee, and it's a cheap meal.

Part of our tradition, following breakfast, is to walk across the strip to and past The Mirage and make our way to The Forum Shops for a little browsing/buying -- it's also a tradition that I'll stop at the Magnet Maximus and pick up three fun/goofy magnets (part of that shop's ongoing deals) to further expand that collection in my home.

As we work our way through The Forum Shops, it's inevitable that my morning Denny's coffee, will put my bowels into high alert.  It's a common reaction to coffee, yo.

So rather than take advantage of the many public restrooms stuck in among the high end shops, I'll try and hold it.  Because once we cross over from The Forum Shops into The Forum Casino of Caesar's Palace - I'm but a few steps away from my favorite bathroom in the world.

Directly across from The Colosseum, situated between several banks of slot machines and bill-changers, there's a sign proclaiming, "Restrooms".  But where?  Well, they're on the level below the casino.  An up escalator and a down escalator.  No stairs.  Once you reach that lower level, you'll pass by a shoe-shine stop.

And inside (the men's room, at least), the stalls are set apart from the urinals and sinks.  And generally, it's never terribly packed.

I find an immense sense of relief as I sit my butt down on the toilet.  And not just because I can "let go", but there's a glorious sense (I've experienced it countless times while using this particular restroom) of anticipation, relaxation and excitement.

Weird?  Sure, but here's why.

It's usually at this point, as I descend the escalator, that the other half and I will part ways for the day.  He likes to walk the strip, while I like to stay inside and wander the properties, gambling here and there, shopping, etc.  Knowing that we'll meet up later for an early dinner at The Laurel Lounge in Caesar's Palace.

But as I sit there on the head, I love the fact that the day will take me where it takes me.  It's a calm, non-busy restroom.  My wallet's full of cash (generally, dependent upon how I did at the slots the night before).  The entire day of gambling and wandering is ahead of me.

It must be noted that if we have obligations in the form of meeting someone else for dinner, or going to see a show (I HATE obligations in Vegas), that there is some anxiety.  I want to wander the strip, all day, every day.  Sure, I love the shows, but knowing that if I find a slot machine that pays and I wanna sit there for hours, that I can.

The relaxation I feel while sitting on the toilet of that bathroom on the lower level of The Forum Casino in Caesar's Palace - is just the best feeling.

Hard to explain, apparently.  But this is my favorite bathroom in the world, and my favorite moments of relaxation, in my anxiety (poo and otherwise) filled mind/brain/life.

And yes, in this quarantine, I'm ITCHING to go back to Vegas, to this oddly relaxing environment, and to my favorite bathroom in the world.

I won't be making a trip to Vegas anytime in the near future, but knowing that Vegas and indeed this bathroom, are ultimate relaxers -- sure makes it seem like bliss right now.


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