MOA

Mall of America. The other half and I took a road trip to the Twin Cities this weekend, just to get away and see some old friends. We of course traveled to Bloomington for a day long Mall of America adventure. We visited my old Suncoast store (their upkeep is shoddy since I left), rode several attractions @ Camp Snoopy, played some games; earning tickets to buy cheap toys that we wanted to give a warm home, got an aqua massage (sounds weird, but pretty cool), bought a bunch of crap perfect to line my already crammed knick knack shelves, had an Orange Julius, smelled the b.o. of those w/out deodorant, watched them set up for one of the Jerry's Kids telethon locations, looked @ cute boys, and had dinner @ the Twin City Grill. Great food, cool atmosphere. The mall seems a bit rundown, and it seems as though the clientele has moved into the teenybopper/ghetto trash market. I guess you cannot blame these trashy young people, there is no cost to enter the mall, and you can spend many hours there, without spending may dollars there. Perhaps it was my wide-eyed first experience there, that leads me to this current trashy conclusion. Even when I worked in the mall, it did not seem all that sketchy. It still seemed fun, and inviting and exciting. Now, it is just fun. My favorite place in one of the food courts is now gone. A great corn dog and wavy cut fries place. Awesome. The smell of the mall is the same, and entering their doors on "my" side of the building, brought me back to my day after day routine there; the smell of Subway bread and chocolate from the candy shop next door. Is this the new sensation of "quaint" memory? No more small towns, smells of rural life. Now there is the smell of chlorine, floor cleaner, and pretzel dough. That's what we have now. It's not all bad. It reminds me of a simpler time in my life; no money, no boyfriend, no light @ the end of the tunnel. It almost pains me to go back there. Although, each time I return, it gets a bit easier, and I can just enjoy those things that remain pure and innocent. Clean up your act Mall of America, then I can return to you w/ wide eyes again, and continue the healing from days long past.

I once spent the night in the mall. I was stuck there w/ no cash, and no transportation. It was my first week in this new store. I could have been fired, had anyone found out. It has to be one of the lowest points of my life, and surely was one of the darkest times my mind had ever seen. Scary to think back to that night. I slept in the office of my store, propped up on the chair. Thank God I had the next day off. @ about 6 am, I ventured from the store and walked the empty corridors, only the senior citizen mall walkers and janitors were around. I don't think I could ever return to that place in my mind, as I waited for my roommate to come pick me up on his way to work. God bless him. Once I left, it all became a silly dream. I still have a couple of writings I composed that morning, as I waited for roomie to show up. I will dig them out and see if they are postable. I am not sure, cuz I recall them being very dark and would surely be upsetting to read them now. I had to ask someone for money the next morning. It was not enough to get on the bus, and I could not bring myself to ask anyone else for extra. Humiliating.

Funny, I just thought about this as I was writing about the mall. The lowest point in my life. That night I will never forget, and I refuse to ever be in that position again. I recall thinking to myself, that it was a "survival situation", and I had failed miserably. A bit melodramatic, but that is what I felt. Wow. Memories, like the corners of my mind...