Why Am I Up?

It's about 2 am. I'd been asleep for a few hours, and was awoken by heartburn; that gentle reminder of my age, flabbiness, bad diet, lack of exercise and overall crappy health. But, it has allowed me to sit and write about nonsense as I wait for the Tums to kick in. I guess it's for the best, as I couldn't sleep knowing that there were "crawlers" (the technical name for the creatures in tonight's feature; The Descent) outside our bedroom door. It's funny the monsters that will stick with me when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee or treat the effects of a crappy dinner time meal. The initial upsy-daisy thought is my body telling me it's time to urinate or that stomach acid is on the rise, but as soon as I exit the bedroom door (our master bedroom and bathroom are not immediately connected...) my head is filled with whatever the monster-flavor-of-the-month may be. Usually it's Vivian from the Dawn of the Dead remake. In the past, its been the creepy mother from The Grudge or Timmy Baderman (sp?) from Pet Sematary. Well, tonight, as I ascended the staircase to go retrieve the Tums from my backpack, I was filled with images of the "crawlers". As not to spoil the movie, I will refrain from describing them here. Well, it feels as if the miracle of Tums has taken its course, so I will return to the bedroom, of course backing into it as I leave the darkness of the entryway, always aware of what may be following me into my sleep.

I'm sure everyone of my avid readers of 0 think this is all funny, and what a great story of fiction. It's not. This is the truth. Good night and good luck.