Please Control Your Disease-Ridden Child

Had a good day @ work. I wish there were more crazy goings-on to report, but it's been quite pleasant and still fun. Imagine that.


Well, today, I finally found something to blog about. A new gripe, so hold onto your bloomers.

Picture this...

A nice woman w/ a 3-4 year old little boy. I was working on the upper floor of the store for my first two hours; which means I saw very few customers. That's the way it works. I heard a child coughing loudly and from the sound of it, he found great success from his retching. Okay, he didn't puke, but I found myself thanking our Lord Jesus Christ that I wasn't on the first floor, breathing in the diseased air spewing forth from this little Village of the Damned extra. Can we say "jinxed"? Yeah, they ended up making their way to the deserted second floor (tumbleweed crossing here) to take a gander at our awesome (come to my store!...plug) chenille throws. The kid was running about...didn't have on a winter coat. And while it was a nice 40 degrees plus today, it is still mid-December. Where's his frickin' coat? Anyway, he was sitting in middle of the floor, picking up pieces from board games, kicking his boots off, etc. The mother was shopping for her throws, talking on her cell phone to confirm the colors of her neighbor's couch...would the chocolate chenille work w/ their leather sofa...okay, they can just return it if it doesn't work, right? Sure, lady. This was all fine...but then she was ready to check out. The kid was placed on the counter, germy hands, slimy, child-cootied dice from one our "Clue" games and all. Then, he proceeded to grab and play w/ our phone behind the cashwrap, asking several times, "What's that?". Well, you hellish, staff infection spreading monster, that's a phone. Mom did nothing. Nothing. I ask, is this how most parents behave? You know your kid's been hacking and obviously sick. You're taking him out in the middle of the winter; with no coat (perhaps it was in the car and he was hot...I'll give her that; but still!) and letting him spread his destructive cough to everyone you come into contact with. Of course, when they left my floor, I let out my breath (I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can hold my breath and talk at the same time; for up to 15 minutes...well, I kind of have to w/ parents like this one on the loose) and immediately set about wiping the counter, the phone and all of my surroundings w/ Clorox anti-bacterial wipes. I looked around desperately, wishing there was a way I could wipe down the air around me. I did try, and I'm sure the folks monitoring the security cameras had quite a laugh at my expense. My arms wildly waving throughout the air; a wet wipe trailing behind my fingers, like some sort of message that "I surrender". In a way, I had surrendered...to the fact that so many parents are oblivious. I finished my clean-up, sat behind the counter for a few moments, crying quietly into my Clorox wet wipe (hey, that's pretty strong, so close to my nose)...wondering if I would survive my brush w/ pestilence incarnate. I'm okay now. I finished my shift, drove home...but honestly, I don't think I'll ever get over it. What if this stupid parent returns, with her CDC poster child? What will I do? Wait, I'm formulating a plan of attack. It's coming to me. Yes. Brilliant. Parents, use parenting skills and common sense. Control your children...especially your sick ones. Give 'em a break...let them rest at home when they're not feeling so hot; and in the process, you'll save all of us on the outside the agony of suspense on whether your little bundle of joy will end up putting us in our own bed for days on end. There, wasn't that easy? I knew it would be. Just think. That's what I do when I'm unsure if I'm making a rational decision. it works pretty great. It's neat.