Me & Simon Baker -- The Pitch-Perfect Pitch

Just before 6am on Saturday morning.  I've awoken from a most pleasant dream.  The dream was complete and satisfying in almost every way...aside from the wretched dry-mouth I experienced upon awaking (lasting effects of this past week's cold).

I pitched the Me & Simon Baker script to Mr. Baker himself, and it was nearly flawless.  You might recall a similar dream from weeks ago, in which I delivered a rather botched pitch to Mr. Baker and George Romero.  Well not this time, my friends.  This one was wholly different.

We were at some party somewhere, a very intimate affair--and in walks Simon.  In attendance @ this shindig were my other half, a couple of college friends and multiple unknowns.  I can't frankly recall how it began, but I don't remember being nervous, only excited.

Simon was very involved in the telling.

When I brought up his wife, Rebecca Rigg (whom plays a large role in the script), he excitedly and sarcastically lauded my research skills (ha!).  Meanwhile, there were moments when I had to yell to be heard.  There was a party going on, after all.

He asked who the other name players were.  I told him George Romero was the other "name" within the project.

I had to go back a few moments in the pitch to re-iterate and/or mention details I missed as I went through the timeline.

The other half tried to interject a few times...enthusiastically, but distracting.

I remember telling Simon how the two leads first meet, and that "Michael" immediately falls for him...but as time goes on, knows he can never have him.  At the first mention of "gay love", Simon rolled his eyes, kind of a "oh, HERE we go" look.  But I brought him back in, stating that it was unrequited love.  It is never confirmed and/or consummated.  Unless you believe a peck on the lips is consummation.  Not that I got a sense that he was homophobic, just like, "this is how you get to kiss me".

But of course, this being a dream about a beautiful man, there had to be some psuedo-hanky panky in there somewhere.  There were moments when we were so close to one another (as to hear and be heard in this party environment), that his lips and stubble grazed my cheeks and lips.  I thought that he was coming on to me, but was only distracted for a couple of moments.

The other half remarked at one time, that the room had grown quiet as my pitch had reached fever-pitch (you like that?).  Indeed, as I surveyed the room, the television had been turned down, and all were silent as they listened in.

The session was moved into a nearby den area...where I brought the story home.  But before I could do that, the other half felt it necessary to let out a lard fart.  Nice.

In his defense, Simon had become very animated (almost like a little kid) during the pitch.  There were a few times where I had to "Simon...Simon...Simon...we're almost done."  It wasn't an "I'm bored" thing, only that he had a lot of energy...almost an ADD problem.

Anyway, the final bits of the tale were told in this little room.  Simon sat across for me, and it was lovely to see his expressions as the final moments came down the wire.  At one moment, Simon lifted his hands to his face.  He didn't cry, but he was moved by the ending.  Score!

That's when I awoke, a brief time ago.  It was so nice to get all the way through, to hear it out loud (even if it was coming from my own dream voice), and of course to have a captive audience.

Let's hope when the time comes that it'll be as smooth and professional (except of course for the stubble rub).

Me & Simon Baker: the pitch continues.