Who is the ULTIMATE 80s Horror Hunk? Prelim Boners Wrap-up!

You like that title, don't you, you perv?  Wrapping up boners, get it?

The preliminary rounds are complete.

In a matter of days, the remaining 20 hunks, having been whittled down by the voters from a whopping field of 40 delicious hunks, will again find their way to the boner battle rings.

These are the gents who have been cut and will never again see the battlefield, perhaps as spectators.  "You like to watch, don't you?"

Kevin "Blair" Spirtas of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7: THE NEW BLOOD
Rodney Eastman of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 & 4
Lance Henriksen of PUMPKINHEAD
Ed Harris of CREEPSHOW
Clayton Rohner of APRIL FOOL'S DAY
John Furey of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2
Kiefer Sutherland of THE LOST BOYS
Paul Kratka of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3
Jason Beghe of MONKEY SHINES
Adrian Pasdar of NEAR DARK
Dale Midkiff of PET SEMATARY
Lance Guest of JAWS: THE REVENGE
Jameson Parker of PRINCE OF DARKNESS
Mark Patton of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE
Daniel Beer of CREEPSHOW 2
David Beecroft of CREEPSHOW 2
Gregory Harrison of RAZORBACK
Kevin Bacon of FRIDAY THE 13TH
Allan Kayser of NIGHT OF THE CREEPS

We wish them a fond farewell, and everlasting hopes that they will appear in the sex dreams of many past, present and future fans.  And don't let this loss diminish you.  You will always have an open invitation to my boudoir.

The prelim battles -- some good old-fashioned stats:

Highest Voter Turnout: The battle between Ken Olandt and Clayton Rohner of APRIL FOOL'S DAY found FIFTEEN people at the voter booths, making their voices heard.  In a close second, with FOURTEEN total votes, Michael Biehn vs. Kevin Bacon -- gave them a run for their money.

Lowest Voter Turnout: A four-way (sounds kinky!) TIE between Lance Henriksen vs. Terry O'Quinn, Ed Harris vs. Dennis Quaid, Paul Kratka vs. Peter Barton and Adrian Pasdar vs. Stephen Shellen.  A total of THREE votes per battle.  Where were you voters when these fine fellas needed you?

Highest # of Votes for ONE Contestant:  This honor goes to Ken Olandt for his battle and subsequent win over Clayton Rohner.  He received a total of FOURTEEN votes in his battle, while Clayton received only one.  **trivia -- the vote for Rohner came from Olandt himself!**

Lowest # of Votes for ONE Contestant: TIE on this one.  Ed Harris of CREEPSHOW and Paul Kratka of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3, each received zero votes in their respective battles.  No mercy from the voters, but I'll be happy to kissy-kiss any boo-boos these two guys may have suffered.

Largest Margin for a High Voter Turnout: Again, Ken Olandt REIGNS over Clayton Rohner -- 14 to 1!

Smallest Margin for a High Voter Turnout: Jason Beghe of MONKEY SHINES vs. Todd Allen of WITCHBOARD.  Beghe lost to Allen, 6 to 7!

How Many of my PERSONAL Votes Did NOT Result in a Win?:  SIX (6).  So lest anyone accuse me of cooking the books, there's your damn proof that I didn't interfere w/ the highly sensitive voting/tallying procedures in this momentous competition!  :)

Personal Losses:  I think my biggest loss would be Gregory Harrison of RAZORBACK, losing out to super-hunk Kurt Russell.  While I love Russell, I would have been beyond bonered for a Harrison win!

Armpits:  While I've always recognized a fondness for the hairy pits of a sexy man, this competition, and my all-too-frequent mentions of armpits, has led me to believe that I could possibly, for real, have found my real-life fetish.  Did you need to know that?  No, but perhaps that was the wonderful new discovery I've found on this journey.  I've learned something about myself.  Isn't that worth pointing out?

Franchise Hunks:  The FRIDAY THE 13TH and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET series saw high competitor inclusion!  SEVEN hunks from Crystal Lake and SIX hunks from Elm Street.  An Honorable mention: CREEPSHOW (from CREEPSHOW and CREEPSHOW 2), we had FOUR competitors!

And it must be noted.  To my overwhelming delight and eternal gratitude, some of the hunks actually responded to me personally, either getting the vote out, expressing their own gratitude or acknowledging this important battle.  It was so very nice to hear from so many of these hotties via the magic of Facebook and Twitter.  You guys rock!

And finally, a few guys who did not make the original cut of 40.  I heard a lot from voters about Jeff Goldblum in THE FLY.  And while he was indeed a sight to behold as he exited that telepod naked and fresh from that first and ill-fated drunken transport, I'm afraid it wasn't enough for inclusion in the top 40.  Jeff Fahey and his uber-hairy chest in PSYCHO III didn't make it either, but he is definitely boner-worthy (remember that stupid lamp, hiding his tasty goods?)  And finally, two MORE hunks from Crystal Lake.  I mentioned "Andy" (Jeffrey Rogers from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3) in one of the battles.  Drool-worthy, what with his extreme flexibility, but not a contender.  And finally, Russell Todd, "Scott" from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2.  How I'd like to have him hung upside down, and at my disposal.  Stupid Kristen Baker and her non-taking advantage of what's right in front of her.  Sigh.

So there we have it.  Won't you join me as the new rounds begin?  20 hunks remain, and all of them want a shot at the title, "THE ULTIMATE 80s HORROR HUNK"!  Join the fun!