Sparklers are Deadly!

On NPR this morning, I heard a report that they are trying to outlaw sparklers in the city of Chicago, cuz a little girl burned her foot last year. Hmmm. They best start cutting down the trees, cuz lightning could possibly strike and make them fall on top of some children. Also, they should impound all cars, cuz there is always the possibility of an accident. Sidewalks will no longer be used, cuz someone could trip. Showers will also be taken away, cuz there is the slightest possibility that someone could slip and crack open their head. Breathing will also be fined, as pollution could be a killer. Let's all sit in a big padded room, doing absolutely nothing, not looking or relating to others, and not moving from that one position. Oh, but then our back may spasm from all of the same position sitting. What can we do? Let's start w/ the sparklers.