The Return of My Dearest Kathy

We missed the season premiere last week, but caught the repeat tonight (even though Bravo has been showing it at least 3 times a day; leave me alone, I've been busy!); right before the second episode's first showing this evening. She's back, she's funny, and she's on my A-list! Again. The show seems retooled with some new quicker editing. The show rocks and I am thrilled to see her return. All loving remarks aside, I have to take a bit of time to comment on the guy who got to spend the weekend with my girl. I found out about the chance to spend the weekend @ her place last year, but there's no way I could afford much, so I was defeated at the outset and didn't even bid. The final bid turned out to be 28k, but it was a sham. The dude that ended up getting the goods, spent only 5k. That's nothing to sneeze at, but I would have paid much more if I had been able. I firmly believe that had I bid and won, Kathy would not have let me go. She would have loved me, met the other half and we would have been her friends for life. Hey, we're entertaining! Back to the joker. His name was Michael, and he was a forlorn, ignorant, BORING psuedo-gay. I don't know if he was gay, but let's hope not. He had no pinache, no personality, no fun in his soul. He could have cared less about what he was experiencing. Here are the best examples of his extreme loser-ness. Loser-ishness. Loser behavior. That works! Kathy was kind enough to take him to an awards ceremony with her. It was a black tie affair, and he was dressed to the 1's. Not 9's, get it? Jesus. I'll forgive him that; even though as a gay, he should have been more prepared. I'm not the best dressed gay on this great planet of ours, but I sure as fuck would have made more of an effort for a Hollywood ceremony. Kathy got photos w/ other celebrities; introducing our friend Michael to many Hollywood elite. I would venture to say that he didn't know about 80% of the celebrities he met. Again, are you gay or not? Could you have been less excited? Kathy was even nice enough to introduce him during her presentation. Then, when they arrived home, she let him have her gift bag; full of wonderful items that all of the presenters are given; for their time. He didn't want much of it; perhaps a bottle of super-expenso vodka. The topper? Kathy had an incredible brunch spread with all of her friends in attendance. Apparently, one of the friends mentioned (in jest) that Kathy had a big stack of I-pods. Later on, when our friend Michael said his goodbyes, Kathy and hubby Matt began to relax and chat about the boring stranger that had just shared their home. He came back in, and asked if he could get an I-pod, unaware that the friend had been joking. What an absolute idiot. I was so sad for Kathy, when she could have had someone like me in her midst. I say this not as a comment full of attitude, but as a statement of truth. I can be pretty self-effacing, but in reality, I know I'm a fun person with a SENSE OF HUMOR. Poor Kathy, I'm sorry that it was a big bust. You went all out, which any person in their right mind would have deeply appreciated, and all you got in return was a boring weekend and money not well spent (on your part). I would have loved a weekend with you and it would have been just as great for you as it would have been for me. And the kicker? I would have been GRATEFUL for your hospitality and generosity. What a novel idea. As for our friend Michael? His gay card has been revoked. He didn't even know who Angie Harmon was. Gimme a break.