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an ongoing description of my life, loves, thoughts, fears, work and lustings.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Weekend in Horror

The other half and I took the initiative and sat our fat asses down to watch a few of the dozens; if not hundreds of new movies we've purchased and have yet to watch. It was a weekend of horror...and sadly; not very good horror.

Saturday night began w/ the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. I enjoyed the original more, but was not displeased w/ the remake. The acting was good (particularly Ted Levine and Kathleen Quinlan), the makeup effects disturbing, and the "trailer sequence" (the rape, kidnapping and death of several family members) horrifying. The images were creepy; especially the "test village" reveal. All of the mannequins going about their daily "lives" while around them, there is decay and desolation. Eerie. What was the most nasty thing about the film, was the wheelchair bound member of the mutant family. I was cheering and yelling when he ("it") was finally killed by Beast. I found myself cheering a great deal as the foul mutants met their various demises. Overall, it wasn't a bad film (I expected more from the brilliant director of High Tension; which I loved!), but it was nothing to write home about (as I sit here writing about it). Worth a look, but it won't last much longer in my mind; past this post.

Next on the agenda; Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist. This is the Paul Schrader version. I have yet to see the original Renny Harlin take on this story, so I had nothing to go on. All I knew was that it was supposed to be the better of the two versions and the cover touted a quote from Roger Ebert, "A milestone in movie history..." Sorry Roger, but how many hallucinogens were you ingesting? This film was an absolute mess. I tried very hard to enjoy it, become involved, fall into its traps. Nothing worked. Some of the sets and locations were convincing and stunning, but the special effects to complement these sets were horrifically bad. The acting was okay (aside from the lead female and the laughable, flamingly queeny Land of the Lost's Chaka-esque villian). There was one good scare moment, but nothing remotely frightening beyond that one minor jump. If this was to have been the better of the two versions; I'm completely apprehensive to view the Renny Harlin take. However, a small part of me wants to see it just for the possible chance that it's somehow better. Should I venture forth and endure another painful two hours of lackluster devil movies? I may. Avoid this film at all costs.

Speaking of devil movies; the other half happened upon one of his old favorites; for the first time on DVD. It's called Fear No Evil. It's from the man who gave us Lady in White; which I also happen to love. It's Frank LaLoggia. It's another devil movie; with a bit of Carrie, The Omen and Night of the Living Dead mixed in. It was not brilliant, but it was quite entertaining. My favorite moment was the opening credits. Elizabeth Hoffman was listed second in the cast. I recognized the name, but it took me a few moments to realize who she was. It was at this time that I said a line commonly used by the other half. When he believes himself to be brilliant, he will say something along the lines of, "I am so smart; I'd fuck myself". Well, when I made my connection that Elizabeth Hoffman was Meryl Streep's mother in The River Wild and "Grandma" in Dante's Peak, I said this line. Who on earth (aside from friend Ryan) would know Elizabeth Hoffman? No one, besides herself and those she's worked with. She was the best part of the film; very effective. I always appreciated her bit roles in The River Wild and Dante's Peak, and it was pleasant to see her in a leading role. A great actress; in an okay movie. Sadly, the special effects; rays of light in the final good vs. evil battle; were more convincing than in Dominion. Who says computer effects are better? I sure don't. Bonus? Plenty of male nudity. A fun, but forgettable foray.

Finally, we dug up Hostel. While many of my friends were horrified by my love for Eli Roth's first film; Cabin Fever, I still have fond memories of it. True, I have yet to revisit it since my initial viewing in the theatre, so things may change if I happen to take a second look. Well, Hostel was crap. I don't need a second viewing to confirm this. Steaming, corn-filled, diarrheal, cramp-inducing crap. What was the fuss? We even watched the unrated edition. All I can say is; so? Boring, stupid, totally unscary. I don't get it at all. This movie just plain sucked. I've said enough. I've already wasted enough time on this...well, crap. I can't think of a better word. CRAP!

How sad that out of four films; nothing was brilliant. Some okay; even mildly entertaining, but all were completely unmemorable. Lame!

2 comments:

Always Around Kids said...

Glad that I'm not the only person who highly disliked Dominion! (I saw the version on HBO...) I had to watch The Exorcist in 60 seconds acted by Bunnies online to cheer myself up again after watching the movie. (The bunnies version of the Exorcist is worth a google search!)

klugula said...

I've got a link to the bunnies on my links page. They ARE AWESOME!

a little bit 'bout klugula...

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