Long Live SSCCATAGAPP!

What is that you ask? It stands for Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays Against Parasitic Parents. Why do I bring this up today? Oh, the story you'll hear. Hopefully you'll remember this "organization" from a past episode of the always brilliant The Simpsons. If not, let me give you a brief setup. There is a riot at a children's outdoor concert; where the babies begin to resemble the large majority of the cast of Hitchcock's The Birds. They're ravenous and unstoppable. Following millions in damages, the city ups taxes to pay for the mess. So, the too-fabulous-for-words (one of my personal idols) Lindsay Nagel shouts to the masses gathered in town hall, "If children are the future; then today belongs to me!" Thus is born this fictional organization. Of course, The Simpsons takes it to the very edge, but the message is valid.

"Why should the whole world stop when a school bus does?"

I was reminded of this (and had to look it up online to get the details correct); after an "incident" last night in the community/building laundry room. As my last entry states, the other half and I are on our way to SD this weekend. We packed our suitcases and watered the plants last night. In addition, I did a couple of quick loads of laundry for good measure. Overall, an uneventful evening. Or so I thought. Let's set this up.

We have close to 100 units in our building; and in our laundry room; there are a scant 8 dryers/8 washers. Living my past 10+ years in similar buildings; where we must all share; it has become common practice to remove clothes from machines if they have yet to be collected by rightful owners. Why, in my past building, the management put up placards proclaiming this very practice. It's not as if this is some brand new concept. Let's call it "you snooze, you lose." Do you all agree with this? A minor exception would be to leave clothes in dryers if they are still damp/wet. Right? Well, all of the dryers were full when I arrived to the room to remove my clothes from the washers (with 1-2 minutes still remaining on my washer time; I might add). It's quite rare that I'm not right there; right on time to take care of my own stuff. Well, two of the dryers had 2-3 minutes left. Once they were completed, I waited a minute or two...No owner. So, I removed the items (which felt quite dry to me) and placed them (nicely) onto other machines. I put in my own clothes; paid my fee and returned to my packing duties. To my great disgust and surprise, I returned a bit over an hour later (again w/ only a few moments remaining on my drying time) to find a note attached to one of the machines I had used. In a later entry, I will put a scanned copy of this letter on my blog; for the amusement of my readers. For now, this is what is said...

"You took my stuff out and it was still wet. They're my 3 year old's bed sheets. Can't put her to sleep on wet sheets! I was only 3 minutes late. I have compassion for your lack of patience. Wishing you peace and happiness."

This was followed by a nice smiley face.

...hmm...okay...

Let's address this letter, piece by piece, shall we?

"You took my stuff out and it was still wet."
1) Well, I did take your stuff out; but to my (apparently numb) hands, it was dry.
2) Where were you when your stuff was done? Shouldn't you have been there on time to take it out...or add dry time if it was needed? But, you weren't.

"They're my 3 year old's bed sheets. Can't put her to sleep on wet sheets."
1) So, you only have one set of sheets for your child? What about if they shit, piss or puke all over them @ 2am in the morning? The laundry room is closed @ that time. What will you do? Perhaps a second set of sheets; just for such emergencies, might be worth a try.
2) You're doing laundry @ 8pm? Shouldn't your 3 year old be in bed by then? I question your parenting "skills".

"I was only 3 minutes late."
1) That's still LATE.
2) My world doesn't revolve around your schedule; regardless of the presence of a child in the scenario. Just so you know; when I've gone on one of my marathon laundry escapades; I've spent HOURS in the laundry room. I've seen clothes sit in a dryer for hours. Yes, hours. So, you were only 3 minutes late? Am I to wait there; waste my time; when there's no guarantee that you will EVER return? Does that make a great deal of sense? I don't believe so.

"I have compassion for yor lack of patience."
1) That's a nice back-handed comment. Apparently, you're better than me; cuz you can forgive such a travesty as (possibly) damp bedding.
2) The other half was intrigued by "lack of patience". That would entail me being given an actual time that I would have to wait. Had the "parent" come in and said; "I need a few minutes; can you wait" and then I proceeded to remove his articles, that would be a "lack of patience". As it was, however, I had no time frame given to me.

"Wishing you peace and happiness."
1) Again, you must be a great deal better than me. You've just witnessed a grave injustice against you and your offspring, but you still have it in you to be kind to; and forgive those who have trespassed against you (a little Lord's Prayer for y'all).

As for the smiley face, bite me neighbor!

The bottom line; and why Lindsay Nagel's "teachings" apply here. What is with the mention of the child? Am I to have "compassion" cuz it involves a child? YOU DID NOT FOLLOW THE "RULES"; end of story. I could care less if you have a child. How does this M.F. know that I wasn't completely crippled and it takes 10 hours for me to complete my laundry? Perhaps I'm too stubborn as a handicapped person to let someone else do my laundry. I was about ready to have an allergic reaction; and fall into all-too-common, but painful convulsions; and I needed my specific clothes dried immediately. Or better yet, let's use a real situation. I HAD TO GET SHIT DONE, BECAUSE I WAS GOING ON A TRIP THE NEXT DAY. Or even better, I don't need a flippin' excuse to use the services available to me; regardless of the irresponsibility of those that live around me. Once again, you snooze, you lose...loser!

Thank you for allowing me this vent. I'm just very tired of parents using their children as an excuse; or a reason to "get ahead in line". You chose to have children; so you know what; deal w/ the consequences. It's bogus for parents to believe that childless couples should give up any of their rights or change any of their ways. Sure, most childless people (including me; except in such a circumstance as this) will give up a seat on the bus for a mom and her kid; or another similar situation. I just do it, I don't ask for kudos. I don't give it a second thought. But it seems to me that Lindsay Nagel and her organization have really touched on something of value. Parents are taking for granted the bonuses they get (whether they deserve them or not) when they have children. When I'm up against people like this "neighbor" of mine, it leaves a bad taste. To all of you good parents, keep up the good work.

Later.