I'm a Grumpass

What else is new. Clearly the upcoming move/job hunt, etc. is making me irritable. I handle stress well in some situations; but apparently not in this type. So sue me.

I'm in such a foul mood. Here are a few reasons why...should you care.

Still no offer made on the house. Super.

Had my job interview w/ the DM of our district...sitting in for the folks in AZ. Okay. Went well, but I was left yesterday; feeling very self conscious. She asked if I wanted feedback on the chat. I said yes. Nothing wretched, but being who I am, everything was taken to heart. I'll spare the details of the "feedback". Very nice woman; and I had to drive to Oak Brook for the sitdown. Got back to my own store and was asked by one of the managers, "Is that what you wore to the interview?". Checkmark two for my self esteem yesterday. I didn't look bad; my usual store attire, but it didn't occur to me to snazz it up. I was going to work when I was done. Wrong move, but too late now. However, yesterday is still not sitting well w/ me.

The other half has been ill for a few days, temperature, hacking, additional snoring during sleeptime. I don't consider myself a bad caretaker...above average perhaps...but when I'm stressed and grumpy; I'm not so good. Since he would just growl at me for a face to face apology for my lack of bedside manner; I'll simply apologize here. Sorry, boy.

Went grocery shopping by myself today; since the other half is half dead. Normal day; until I was standing to the side of an aisle talking to the other half on the phone; requesting some instructions. Heard a loud, impatient "Comin' through!" I immediately went to the side (my back had been turned) to find a little old lady in one of those motorized "hover round" things...you know, the kind that George Costanza once drove? My immediate reaction was to tell her (and not under my breath mind you) that "Excuse me might be a bit more appropriate". She grumbled something under her breath; I called her a "bitch" and she went on her way. Let me be clear on this. I'm not out to get someone w/ a handicap...make them feel bad. If it had been a woman w/ a baby in her cart; pushing aside w/ a rude comment, she would have gotten the same thing. Rudeness will not be tolerated in my book; regardless of the fact that you have an inflated sense of entitlement; due to your misfortune (or perhaps your disregard for your own health); whatever the reason is. I don't get it. Am I being a jerk? Clearly an "excuse me, behind you" in a dignified tone would have been just as effective. I'm an alert person. I would have heard it; even though I was on the phone. I'm 99% of the time; very aware of my surroundings. Let me close this bit of my update with, "Goddamn, that really f***ing pissed me off!" There.

The contest for George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead (you know, the one I've been talking about for the past 5 weeks?) closes its polls tomorrow. Last day to vote. I really don't seem to get the voting/ranking. Just this evening, I watched a couple more of the films (one was actually pretty good...seemingly an impossible feat in the hordes of contest hopefuls--yes, I said it!); and I gave a "thumbs up/booyah" to it...the percentage of the "ranking" did not change. What does this mean? I don't know, but the majority of the films I'm seeing (including my own) are in the 40% range; out of 100%. Someone's going around and voting poorly for everyone...there's no limit to the # of times you can vote, so I believe sabotage is at play here. Fine. One half of the final choices will be picked based on artistic merit...that's where I might have a chance...cuz frankly, my 44% ranking won't get me far. I think I'm usually (at least outwardly) a pretty modest guy. I don't take compliments well, even if I think the compliment is justified. But dammit! W/ the mood I'm in right now, I may as well lay it all out on the table. THE MAJORITY OF THE SHORTS I'VE SEEN...ARE WRETCHEDLY HORRIBLE. There I've said it. I don't say mine is the best; and I've certainly not seen all of the contestants, but damn. On top of it all; so many comments left; even on the worst of the films; involve ridiculous praises. Certainly, I had many of my own friends commenting on my film, and I can only assume that this is the situation on these other competitors. So, w/ my true feelings let out into the ether, disqualify me for bad sportmanship, send me nasty emails for killing the dreams of wannabe filmmakers, whatever! Mine is better than many up there. I put time and effort (so did my very talented cast and crew). We worked hard. We got some subtlety out of our story. We made up shot lists, we scheduled everything...we even planned our menu for Godssake! We thought things out. We didn't grab a camera, find a cool field to chase an actor through, film in 1/2 hour and call it a day. I really hope it shows, cuz all of the hard work is there. Take the time to find it.

BTW, my last blog stated that I appreciated all of the people that entered the contest. This holds true, I do love that there are so many zombie fans out there. But just because you are a zombie fan; doesn't mean you should be or indeed ARE a zombie-filmmaker.

Have I said too much, there's nothing more I can think of to say to you. But all you have to do; is look at me to know; that every word is true.

(That's from Evita).