Watch Me Flip Out

Are you ready? Here goes.

I had that interview with the Hustler Hollywood store on Thursday. The guy I was to interview with, was 1/2 hour late. He yawned at least 3 times during my interview. I don't consider myself particularly boring, but now I have proof otherwise. Just what I needed in this state of near mental breakdown. I originally applied for this job for a MANAGEMENT position. That was probably 3 weeks before I actually went in for an interview. I was told in the interview that there were no management positions available. Okay, full time? I was told I would hear from them by the end of the week. Well, it's not Wednesday the following week. To top off this whole Hustler experience, I was job searching (again and yes, still) for jobs today, only to find a listing on CareerBuilder for "inventory control, sales associates, assistant managers, and managers" for this specific location. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, this listing on CareerBuilder was from two days ago...Monday. Jesus Fucking Christ, can someone give me a break? So I called the store, talked to a manager, not the yawning dude I spoke to last week, and asked about it. She said they are not currently hiring for management. I advised of the listing on CareerBuilder, and she said it must be something corporate did.

I've experienced the same thing from H&M. I applied to this joke of a store a month or so ago...the one right across the street. Convenient, huh? They're not hiring for managers...even though that's what is says online. I HATE corporate America. No one, and I mean NO ONE in these companies have any idea how communication should actually work. The old saying that "the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing". It's true. Apparently, these large corporations take a cue from our government. Bunch of fucking dipshits ruling this world, I swear.

So, I also found a listing today for The Container Store. "General Manager". A couple of things. I was told there was no full time available. Well, my thought would be that "General Manager" would, by its very nature, be a full time gig. I won't bother applying, cuz I was already told, IN THE THREE INTERVIEWS I had there, that they try to bring up people from within. Well, then why in God's name are you advertising online to EVERYONE, if you want to promote internally?

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

So, I called the store, talked to the last guy I interviewed with and asked if they had part-time available? They apparently do, but he will chat w/ his fellow managers today to see if that's something I could do. Remember, I applied for full-time. But, you would think they would ask if I would be open for less hours. At this point, for fucksake, OF COURSE I AM! Hopefully I'll get to go in for yet another interview. I'm sure by interview #11, they should have a pretty good idea what I'm all about.

Also, I'm in a rage over my computer. The piece of shit is really old now, never been updated, and it's really fucking slow. It irritates me, especially when I sit here for hours on end, sending out resume after resume, cover letter after cover letter.

I'm sure it has something to do w/ my shitty, nasty, unproductive attitude, but I find that when something goes wrong (Like Yahoo asking for my password every time I click the goddamn mouse), it all then comes tumbling down, and all things become a challenge. Today, I had to type an email three times, for various different reasons. Then I tabbed past the text area and into the "send" and entered, so the email was sent prematurely to one of the hundred or so employers I applied to in the past 5 minutes.

Just fucking now! I was in the middle of typing, didn't hit any strange keys or anything, and I was suddenly taken from my "compose" screen to my blog dashboard. I think we can all be thankful that I was saved and didn't lose everything you see above. If that had been the case, I would have lost it. There's no doubt that you would have all received news through the grapevine that I had flown out of my 8th story window and plummeted to my death.

I think I've said over and over that I've been pretty positive about this whole dire, ridiculous situation, but honestly, I have some really bad days, and this had to be on the top of the list. I'm ready to pull my hair from my head and take a flying leap.

My life truly stinks. That's not a jab @ the other half, cuz when I say things like that, he takes it personally. I just want some fucking stability. I don't care at this point what kind of job I get. I'm desperate. I'm truly desperate. Not that it's not noble, but I've never wanted to go into food service, but Taco Bell has some shift leader positions available. Don't be surprised if you find me there in a fashionable wedge cap.

I fucking hate EVERYTHING right now.

There, I flipped out. The sad thing about that, is that I have to be close to an actual breakdown. I don't know how much more bullshit I can have thrown at me.

Later.