There are moments you remember all your life...

Okay, a quote from YENTL may be a bit over the top, but it's what came to mind. And if you are to learn anything about me, it's that I write from a train of thought perspective. It was there, therefore it's now here.

The reading for TONIGHT I SHALL LEASE YOUR SOUL came to fruition last night. It was mind-boggling, anxiety-inducing, exciting, out of body and satisfying...to say the least.

I can't help but believe that there is more out there for me; beyond a retail gig where I rule. Let's face it, I'm very good @ that day job, but ultimately, that's not where I want to end up.

I'm not a fish out of water @ work. In fact, I'm a damn good salesman. I've been doing such jobs for long enough, that it's second nature.

But just as I felt when I first acted...when I first sat down to put my horrific visions to paper (ten years old I wrote my first story...a zombie tale--imagine that!), and then when I took up a position of power (the director's chair) where ultimately I could create and bring my vision to life. None of my projects have ever been perfect, but in my mind I was PERFECTLY suited for all of them. A good fit.

Last night was a reminder that I'm doing what God or the universe or whom/whatever meant for me to do. Not retail, not some stuffy office job and not providing customer service to those who have no clue about who I really am and what I'm truly capable of.

Sitting in that group of actors (I'm still reeling that all of these talented folks came together to help us (more specifically ME). It was a true reality check. Again, like when I first sat down to edit my first short film...it felt right. It was hard, I wasn't trained, but delving into that was a good thing. A right thing.

Last night was a right thing. Working to some goal on some creative project. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. I don't want to bitch or moan. I know I've got it good. I've got a supportive partner, a supportive writing partner, supportive friends and a job that let's me eat and keep a roof over my head. I never want to take those things for granted...but I still get those wild thoughts (imagine!) that I need to be doing something else. Creative ventures (writing is the biggie right now--obviously) are where I belong. I need to make things...stories, characters, movies...

I'm putting it out in to the universe right now. It's time. The time has come. I know what I need to be doing. It's been proven...finally. All of those past creative gigs were hints. They weren't ignored, just put aside perhaps. I'm ready to do what I love...and do it all the time. No more disgruntled customers. No more ringing in the holidays by being behind a busy cash register. No more commutes. No more "regular" schedules. I want to work for myself. I want to be in a job (writing/acting/directing and everything in between) where I will never feel inadequate or self aware again. Someplace where I'll feel comfortable. A square peg in a square hole. This is it folks. This is it world. This is it universe.

I go from YENTL to THE GOONIES. My time is now...down here. Down here being, what? My soul, heart, deeper recesses of my mind? I don't know. But it's time.

Later y'all.