THE NURSE CONTROVERSY

"It's done out of love."

-- a recently transformed "Chet" (Bill Paxton) of 1985's WEIRD SCIENCE.

I've always gone under the working title of "THE NURSE CONTROVERSY" when thinking about, or discussing the writing of this particular essay.  But tonight, as I finally sat down to conduct my "research" (that just sounds good), I realized that another name may work just as well...perhaps better -- "THE NINE LIVES OF THE NURSE ZOMBIE".

For the uninformed (I will now shame you), the "Nurse Zombie" is one of the flesh-eating, painted-face extras from George A. Romero's 1978 beloved horror classic, DAWN OF THE DEAD.  The character is played by Ms. Sharon Ceccatti who has, over the years, become a zombie film icon and a horror convention regular.  I've met her on a couple of occasions, and she is a genuine treat.

Before we go into the actual controversy, a bit of history and some declarations.  I ADORE this film, and my points are in no way meant to dishonor or make fun of the picture.  I haven't the foggiest idea how many times I've actually seen the film.  I lost count somewhere past 100.  Truth be told, its sister film 1985's DAY OF THE DEAD is my favorite of Romero's zombie repertoire, indeed it has held the very top spot of ALL FILMS, ever since my first viewing as a pre-teen.  DAWN OF THE DEAD is also in my top 40 films of all time, holding the very respectable position of #8.  Not too shabby.  Bottom line, I love the film.  I'm not being mean.  I'm just poking a bit of fun at some very obvious inconsistencies, and the "Nurse Zombie" (from here-on-out, we'll refer to her as NZ) is at the heart of these good-natured jabs.  So let's get on with it.

This evening's afore-mentioned "research" consisted of finally sitting down and making detailed notes of each of NZ's appearances.  I will note the minute/second and then later, the hour/minute/second of the moments she appears.  Please note that I am using the US Theatrical version, with a running time of 127 minutes.  This was how I first experienced the film (on home video) and so we're going off of that version.  I am also making notation of certain scenes where large groups of zombies are seen.  I took time to pause and scour each of these shots, but still may have missed her in there somewhere.  Also, once she shows up for a section (i.e. the last portion of the film, as the zombie horde moves into our heroes' well-appointed abode), I am not notating EVERY single moment she appears.  We know she's there.

Things start up kinda slow, but once we reach the heart of this disturbing controversy, you'll understand the need for this in-depth investigation.  Hold onto your hats (nurse or otherwise), cuz here we go.

The Nurse Controversy

Clearly, there is no sign of our good friend NZ until close to the half hour mark.  Our leads must first escape the chaos of the newsroom, the rampant death in the ghetto, and the falling (failing?) City of Brotherly Love.

Our first shot of the sprawling mall parking lot comes in at 27 minutes: 11 seconds.  It's from high above in the chopper, so there are many random zombies shambling about in the empty lot.  Now, there is one figure amongst these zombies, who may or may not be NZ.  It clocks in at 27 minutes 25 seconds.  There's a white-clothed person in the upper center portion of the screen.  Is it her?  Could be, but I'm not quite ready to say that's her grand first appearance.

Our first CONFIRMED sighting of NZ comes once we're inside the mall -- at 34 minutes 05 seconds, BEHOLD! (it's actually the moment captured in the still above).  Peter and Roger have just made things more difficult for themselves by turning on power to all of the mall's displays and this is where we see NZ.  Side note:  Romero's editing choice for NZ's first showing is brilliant -- the dead eyes of the turning mannequin heads, cutting to the dead eyes of NZ and the other zombies "waking up" to the muzak and movement of the "turned-on" mall fixtures.  It's also round about this time when we first see "Escalator Zombie" (the late, great Clayton Hill -- Sharon aka NZ is his widow.  I also met him a couple of times as well.  Stand up guy).

With the mention of Clayon, it is now time to digress.

Two things.

1)  Both Sharon and Clayton play large supporting roles in a spec script I wrote several years ago.  It's called ME & SIMON BAKER, and they appear in the script as themselves.  Suffice to say, it's a zombie film about a zombie film lover, who has to battle zombies with actors from zombie films, when a zombie outbreak -- for real and true -- actually happens.  How's that for a shameless plug?

2) Growing up with this and other horror films, my brothers and I have always had (and still do) a strong bond over the macabre.  My older brother got me started on this obsession, and I blame him for the years of night terrors associated with my irrational fear of the undead.  It can't really happen, can it?  As I go further down this "digress hole" (I'm copyrighting that phrase...it's mine), I must explain a term which my brother created.  He used to call the "lead zombies" (that's how they're listed in the closing credits of the film) "PREMIERE" zombies.  To this day, it has stuck.  Now, I realize that one could easily follow through the film with the "Gun Zombie" (the ghoul who steals Roger's gun) or Clayton's "Escalator Zombie".  Most of these other "PREMIERE" zombies could have their very own "controversy", but frankly, I like keeping up with our good old NZ.  She's more fun, more recognizable and let's face it...she's everyone's favorite.  Just a bit of explanation before we move on.

"Digress hole" completed.

Next time NZ shows up, the clock displays 38 minutes 55 seconds.  Peter and Roger are doing their first "old okey-doke" on the first floor of Penney's.  There's NZ scratching at the window.

45 minutes 23 seconds:  Stephen has now joined Peter and Roger for round two of "the old okey-doke".  NZ is again up against the glass, that tell-tale hat in plain sight.  (btw, it has always pissed me off that Stephen chose to slam his large book of mall maps into the window glass.  Glass shatters, you idiot!).  NZ shows up in a couple of more shots in this scene.

I know what you're thinking.  What the hell does this mean, anyway?  Who cares?  What's the controversy, you shit-heel?

Fear not, this is all just setting up the mind-blowing reveals yet to come.  Patience.

46 minutes 05 seconds.  This is a head-scratcher.  I'm pretty sure that's NZ's face smushed up into the window of Penney's (she's window-shopping?         hahaha...     no?)  The problem here, and the start of those nasty continuity issues, is that NZ's hat appears to be off of her head, and in her hand.  Now, we know that later, when she shows up for some gut-grubbin', that her hat is intact.  Helpful zombie friends?

"You've got some lower intestine in your teeth."

"Oh, gee thanks, that could have been embarrassing."

Next up, our heroes (the living ones, not the undead ones) are making their way from the truckyard to the mall, with their first truck.  You know the drill.  They're gonna block off all of the four main mall entrances with large trucks, thus keeping our friendly zombies at bay.  During these many shots of trucks travelling past the zombies (with noticeable gaps in the parking lots -- oh, about truck size), NZ could be among them, but I have not made note of this.  At any rate, 1 hour 00 minutes 14 seconds & 1 hour 01 minutes 13 seconds, there is no sign of NZ in the zombie numbers.  Prove me wrong, friends.  

At 1 hour 05 minutes 18 seconds, we have a chopper POV.  Honestly, I don't think there's any way to be sure whether NZ is in there somewhere.  Maybe, maybe not.

Another return from the truckyard (the ill-fated second truck fiasco is about to begin), through the zombie parking lot.  At 1 hour 05 minutes 21 seconds.  Again, no NZ that I can see.

Finally, your patience has paid off.  The issues are about to begin.  Fasten your seat-belt in that ill-fated second truck, folks.

1 hour 06 minutes 36 seconds.  There she is.  She's in that group of ghouls, who are so close to getting a piece of Roger.  "Escalator Zombie" is there too.  The gang's all here!  So.  It should be pointed out that the last time we saw NZ was the day before (in the film's timeline).  Certainly, she would have had time to scout around the mall, perhaps do some additional shopping, before returning the parking lot...where she would wander aimlessly, quite unsure of where her car is parked.  We know that the mall doors are open, so the zombies have free reign of the interior as well as the exterior of the shopping center.  In other words, her being here for Roger's fool-hardy behaviour is feasible.  I will allow it.  But wait --

Here we are at 1 hour 07 minutes 28 seconds.  Peter and Roger have had their heart-to-heart, and now must return to truck #2, so that the wicked-bad-choice-making Roger can get his tool-bag...and a zombie bite or two in the process.  NZ appears in several shots throughout this scene  (as well as "Escalator" and "Gun" zombies).  At 1 hour 08 minutes 21 seconds, we catch another moment of NZ in between the two trucks, as one unfortunate zombie gets thrown into the air by the nasty ol' BP truck.  Just seconds later, at 1 hour 08 minutes 26 seconds we get that iconic shot of a whole bevy of "PREMIERE" zombies -- NZ, "Escalator", "Gun" zombies and even that fat zombie in a suit, whom we see many other times.

Now.  The time has come.  We know that Roger's been bitten, become infected, and is clearly not sorry for his reckless behaviour (I don't know this for sure, I just think he's remorseless) -- and that regardless of his injuries, they're going to carry on with their mission to blockade the mall doors.  We don't see this action, but we know the final two trucks are a success and that the mall is closed for business.  So.  So.  So.  Keep this in mind as we move onto NZ's next scene.

The four leads now have the unenviable task of locking all of the doors and then hunting down all of the remaining zombies who were left inside of the mall.  It's gonna be dirty.  It's gonna be bloody.  It's gonna be dangerous.  It's gonna be FUN!

THEY GET TO DRIVE A CAR ON THE MALL CONCOURSE!

NZ is seen again as the leads carry out their plan to lock all of the doors...finalizing their "no zombies allowed" regulations.  It's reading 1 hour 13 minutes 19 seconds on the clock, as we see what appears to be NZ's ringed-finger (how sad, she was married) scratching on the Penney's glass. As a bumbling Stephen fucks up again, this time with the keys, we see a whole lot more of NZ, in the struggles to reach the car.  At 1 hour 13 minutes 30 seconds, NZ is totally confirmed.  Several more shots of her in the ruckus, cement the fact.

Stop.  Hold it.  Wait a second.

We know that NZ was near the entrance where the second truck fiasco took place.  I'll venture a guess that she would have had time to get to one of the other TWO un-blocked entrances BEFORE Peter and Roger were able to return with another truck to complete their blockade.  I can buy that. Considering Roger's new injuries, things on the other two trucks may have been slow-going.  So yes, NZ certainly could have gotten back into the mall.  It's feasible.  I'll allow it.  However, as we move ahead into the film's time code, remember this...NZ is absolutely, positively INSIDE THE MALL...where ALL entrances/exits are blocked...and the heroes are about to embark on a zombie genocide outside of the Waldenbooks.

Moments later, 1 hour 18 minutes 09 seconds.  The Aftermath.  Trucks blocking the exterior? Check.  Doors locked?  Check.  All zombies inside -- EXTERMINATED?  Check.

Herein lies the meat, the bloody dripping meat, of THE NURSE CONTROVERSY.

Based on all that we have seen, NZ must very well be completely and totally dead...again.

Now, granted, in all the shots of the bloodied corpses, strewn across the mall's landscape, never do we see a white dress/black hair/and the white hat of a sainted nurse.  And never in the massacre (the parts they showed) did we see NZ get a bullet to the brain.  So we never see proof that NZ is actually destroyed.  I get it.  That could be a hole in my theory.  Admittedly.

But honestly, did our group of survivors go months (Frannie's belly got pretty big -- thus signifying a good passage of time), fulfilling their every consumer dream, learning to fly a traffic chopper, wandering past that lovely fountain for the umpteenth time, eating gourmet food, hallucinating over ancient video games and proposing marriage to the only female around (what's wrong w/ foxy NZ?), without ever once coming into contact w/ the clearly still walking/stalking NURSE ZOMBIE?  Where's she been hiding out?  @ the Piercing Pagoda?

"How do you know that she's still around?  We just didn't see her go down.  You said so yourself!"

Friends, let's go much further into the time-code.  Roger is dead and buried.  Our heroes have become bored with their dreamy isolation and with one another.  The "Civil Defense" apartment has been absolutely renovated into a 70's ideal home.  And the human drama has taken center stage.

But wait.  There are other survivors.  That band of dirty bikers have come onto the scene and things are about to shake up!  And here is another part of the problem.

Join me at 1 hour 43 minutes 29 seconds.  The bikers have "opened the bay doors".  As the camera pans across a group of hungry zombies, following a group of motorcycle raiders, there's a glimpse of a white dress.  And, OMG, is that a white hat?  It couldn't be.  Could it?

We have a confirmation.  At 1 hour 43 minutes 30 seconds.  There she is, on the right side of your screen.  NZ is "alive" and well on the outside of the mall. 

You get what I'm going for here?  You see what I'm saying?  NZ is eternal.

And there she is again at 1 hour 46 minutes 01 seconds...on her way into the mall with the bikers and her fellow flesh-eaters.

1 hour 49 minutes 05 seconds.  There she is again, clearly now inside the mall.

Let's move ahead a bit more.  Despite the fact that NZ cannot be here, based on the original indoor zombie hunt (again, the beef that makes this whole essay possible)...but okay.  Now that she is, she is also able to miraculously survive the onslaught of the bikers and their arsenal of weapons.  She remains intact, enough so that she is able to join a newly undead Stephen in his quest to reach the "Civil Defense" apartment.  She shows up for the big finale at 1 hour 59 minutes 20 seconds, heading down that long hallway w/ her cohorts.

We see her much more for the remaining minutes of the film.  She survives a truly amazing ladder-climb, Peter's last minute suicide ditch, karate-kid-stylings and gun-show, the ledge of the mall's roof and the whirring death of the chopper's blades (we know from earlier in the film that this can be tricky).

As the chopper makes its way into the uncertain morning, NZ and many of her fellow "PREMIERE" zombies wave good-bye.  They've conquered not only death, but death again...and again...and again -- despite circumstances which can not be explained.

That, my friends is "THE NURSE CONTROVERSY".  I've been wanting to discuss this for decades.  After my 36th viewing or so -- at age 14, I started to pay more attention to these innocent inconsistencies.  I hold no ill will to Mr. Romero, his crew or his script supervisor, for this slight.

In all seriousness, the film is a marvel and a classic, and it is with great joy that I share these ridiculous insights.  I'm having fun, and the film is part of me...part of my life.  And once again, in no way is this meant to harm.  Thank you to Mr. Romero and company for such a wonderful film adventure. 

And to you NZ, keep reaching for the skies.  Keep bucking the system.  Keep on, keepin' on.

You go, girl!