Who is the ULTIMATE 80s Horror Hunk? Semi-Final Boner Nine: Bruce Campbell vs. Michael Biehn

With a last minute vote from Mr. Reddick to break a possible tie, it has become evident that Paul Satterfield's luscious thong-ness in CREEPSHOW 2 has won out over Urbano's hairy-armed Italian goodness in DEMONS.  We bid a fond farewell to Mr. Barberini, and open our arms and legs wide to accept Mr. Satterfield into the finals!  Final votes:  Urbano Barberini -- 4 votes.  Paul Satterfield -- 5 votes.

This is the next to last battle in the semi-finals.  I want to again remind you that we have TWO more rounds to go.  The top 10 hunks remaining at the end of the semis will battle out in the finals.  These 5 battles will leave the top 5 hunks.  From then on, it'll be a point system.  You avid voters will rank the 5 remaining hotties and the scores will be tallied.  But --

We're not quite there yet, so let's take a look at the two dreamboats who'll be in the ring this time around.

From EVIL DEAD 2, we have the one and only chin of Bruce Campbell.  His prelim battle details can be found here.  He's got the best pits in the horror hunk biz, and so this gives him a leg (an arm?) up on the competition.  He's also got that patented chin, a hairy chest and the comic limberness which could easily be transferred into the kind of limber you'd like to see in the bedroom chamber late at night.  You dig?

But up against him is Michael Biehn of ALIENS.  He's yummy in things like THE TERMINATOR and THE ABYSS.  But he's all serious.  And he's also got one appetizing set of hairy pits which were put on this earth to make you drool.  Here are the details for his prelim battle.

So I was debating on calling this battle, "Comedy vs. Drama", but instead, we'll make this "Battle of the Hairy Pits Volume Two".

My vote will immediately go to Biehn. While Campbell would never, EVER find himself without a place to sleep in my house (i.e. my bedroom -- with me), Biehn has always held a place of honor in my libido.

When discussing Biehn, I'm tempted to quote, or rather mis-quote a line from one of the AUSTIN POWERS films, from "Fat Bastard".  "Get in my belly."  But with the more X-rated version.  Again, you dig?

Cast your votes now!