Who is the ULTIMATE 80s Horror Hunk? Final Boner Five: Michael Biehn vs. Kurt Russell

Robert Rusler of  A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE is the clear victor in Final Boner Battle #4.  He racked up 22 votes as compared to 5 for Paul Satterfield of CREEPSHOW 2.  (Please note, I earlier stated that Satterfield had 6 votes, but my count was clearly wrong -- 5 total in the end).  So this means that our beloved and helpful Grady of FREDDY'S REVENGE moves into the top 5.  We bid a fond farewell to Satterfield and his yellow speedo, but hey!  He made it into the top ten!  So uber-kudos for that accomplishment!  And that places Rusler right smack dab into the last bit of the competition! We'll see you again soon -- when our final five take to the ring in a free-for-all (kinky!), and he'll be looking for your votes in this "Sudden Erection" bout!  Breathe for just a moment, Mr. Rusler!  But don't take too long, cuz you need time to oil up, get in some stretches and make your way to the ring!

Our final "final" boner battle brings back two higher profile names.

First up, Michael Biehn of ALIENS has made it this far in the competition, and it's no wonder.  I mean, he's gorgeous!  He's got those fabulous armpits so prominently displayed in the "wake-up" scene of ALIENS and he's got the blonde hair, the dreamy eyes and one hot-ass body!  Welcome to the top ten, my hunky friend -- is the top 5 in the cards for you?  The voters will decide!  Here are his prelim battle details.

And with Biehn in the ring this time is household name, Kurt Russell.  As I've said before, I'm choosing him for THE THING, but he always makes me weak in the knees when I see him in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK.  The yummy stubble (beard in the case of THE THING), the hot bod, the flowing, gorgeous hair.  Oh Snake Plissken -- take me away!  Here are his prelim battle details.

I'm gonna have to again say that we've got a tough one here.  I knew this battle was looming, so I've had some time to hem and haw over my choice, and in the end, I think I'll have to cast my vote for Michael Biehn.  But DAMN if it doesn't pain me to neglect Russell.  Seriously, can I vote for a tie?  Sigh.  And we shall give this final "final" battle an appropriate name -- "Final 'Final'".  Easy, right?

Alright voters.  The time has come.  This will be your final vote in this manner.  As I've said in previous posts, the "Sudden Erection" (and final voting) will be a little different!  Stay tuned for all the rules and the announcement of your final five HORROR HUNKS of the 80s!

Now get out there and vote!