Who is the ULTIMATE 80s Horror Hunk? Boner Four: Ed Harris vs. Dennis Quaid

Let us venture forth into our next boner battle, inching (how many is the question) toward an all-around victor in the quest for 80s Horror Hunk-dom!

But first, we must recap and name a winner from last time's boner battle.  It was the "Mature Men" portion of our contest, pitting Lance Henriksen and Terry O'Quinn against one another.  And rather than it ending up in blood and mayhem, we can just imagine that they made up with one another after the battle, in perverse ways only talked about behind closed doors.

The voting was scarce (only three people cast their votes -- 1 for Henriksen and 2 for O'Quinn), but there was a clear winner:  THE STEPFATHER's Terry O'Quinn moves ahead in the competition!  Congrats!  Apparently your "white as the driven snow" butt cheeks moved you up that victory ladder!

And one more bit of news!  We have a WINNER in the first battle -- Chris Sarandon vs. Kevin (Blair) Spirtas!  Apparently, Mr. Sarandon's sexy vampire and his very seductive ways were the real charmer!  Enough that a late-posted vote broke the tie!  Thanks, Roxie!

So this week's boner gets its motor running when we introduce this new contest, "Now Household Names".

They're two hot as hell dudes, who back in the day were not names which sparked recognition, unless you were a horror fiend.  But now, they're household names with plenty of mainstream credits and award recognition between them.

First up:  Ed Harris.  I'm choosing him for his brief role in the opening story ("Father's Day") of George A. Romero's CREEPSHOW.  He plays an unlucky (and kinda douch-y) "Hank", a hot blonde who is surely in his relationship with the bitchy "Cass" (Elizabeth Regan) for the eventual payoff.  I watched this film ad nauseum when it was playing on HBO back in the day, seemingly every few hours.  This film was definitely one of my inspirations for where I am today, a zombie/Romero fan, with hardly another geek to challenge my undead devotion.  "Father's Day" scared the bejesus out of me when I was little and still to this day, it can get a rise out of me.  Speaking of "rises", even as a pre-teen, Ed Harris sparked something in me.  He still had a more full head of hair (blonde no less) and those eyes.  My GOD those eyes!  And you could tell he was built.  Of course, when I was 9, I didn't know what "built" meant, but looking back, I can remember feeling pretty oogy over Harris, even with his ridiculous dance (which now I adore and the song is beautifully 80s with some left-over disco).  HERE's the link to that amazing dance portion of the film.  And get a load of Harris' pursed lips.  Absolutely delicious!

Now, as I have cheated already in this competition's "battle details", I may as well do it here as well.  There was a little known Romero film starring Harris from 1981 (a year before CREEPSHOW) called KNIGHTRIDERS.  During the late 90s, I was able to finally see this picture.  While it didn't blow my mind, there was the opening sequence in which Harris' character bathes nude in the lake, before flogging himself.  So while it's not a horror film (it's directed by a mainly horror director, does that count?), I'm still gonna use it to make the case for Harris.  His furry chest and absolutely tight ass are really something to make your mouth water.  So, I'm including some photos from that film as well (you'll thank me, so just shut up and enjoy!)  And please, pay no mind to the distracting breasts included here.  :)

This is a tough battle friends, with Ed Harris making me salivate as I type this, and now I must find the strength to introduce his opponent, the utterly do-able Dennis Quaid.  This guy is a butter melter of the highest order.  He's already appeared in my on-going celebrity hot-tub with no size restrictions, my "Stew of Sin", so he's got a one-up in this battle.  Before you go all, "he's always been a big name, he's never 'slummed' it in horror before."  Think again.  In the 80s, Quaid had a lead role in JAWS 3-D (which is a terrible, terrible film, but which I happen to adore) and the film which will be used today to make his hunky-case, DREAMSCAPE.  This is a really great film, which holds up (via tent-pole in my shorts?) to this day.  Great cast which included Christopher Plummer, Kate Capshaw and Max Von Sydow, it's worth a look if you've never seen it.  But, we must find our way back to the man at hand (in hand?).  There's a scene in DREAMSCAPE where Quaid is woken up by Von Sydow, and gets out of bed to reveal his lean (a bit pale here) and appetizing flesh.  His bikini undies serve to accentuate his package (which Meg Ryan surely used as inspiration in the diner scene which would define her career in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY -- were they together then?), and show off his meaty pecs, lick-able arms and tantalizing treasure trail...and that little patch of chest hair?  Oh.  My.  God.  Seriously, Quaid?  And you've only gotten more amazing as the years have gone by.  He's an actor who has kept me coming back for more, year after year (do you recall those ab shots in FAR FROM HEAVEN?)  The first picture is of Quaid in an adorable little v-neck sweater worn in the film.  And of course, the second photo (s) is him in those little black panties.  And check out that squeezable right butt cheek!

I think it's safe to determine how my vote will be cast.  Quaid.  Quaid.  And more Quaid.

But very honestly, this is a tough battle as both men are beyond drool-worthy.  But then again, Harris went on to play John McCain...so there's that.

Good luck.